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But I Already Invited You...

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I'm not quite sure how to respond to this e-mail.

I got an e-mail from my friend Nick (I've written about his wife Nora before), inviting me and a few other people to get together and share our interest. He suggested a date that's a few weeks away.

However, that date is the date of my younger son's birthday party. Which about 1/2 the people Nick sent the e-mail too (including Nick himself) are invited to. Plus Nora already RSVPed yes for herself and Nick.

SHould I say something to Nick? How do I word it? Its an open e-mail, but I don't really want to reply all because half the people aren't invited to the party (they're not being excluded, I don't actually know them that well).

Contact Nick and Nora privately - I'd do it over the phone.  Say you were a little confused because the date for their event is the same as the birthday party they'd already RSVP'd yes to as were a lot of the guests they included.  Then ask if they are still going to make it to your party.  If they say no, I'd just shrug it off and then proceed as normal.  Send out a reminder for the birthday party too just in case people who already RSVP'd have forgotten, but I wouldn't contact them with any reference to Nick and Nora's event as it might look like you are pressuring them to come to your party.

If Nora did the RSVP it's likely Nick forgot.  I'd say (to him one on one) "Remember?  That's YDS birthday party" .   He'll have a "D'oh" moment :).

I'd respond back that "sorry that's the date of DS's party. Nora had indicated you would be joking us. Has that changed?"

If you were to reply all you could just say "Sorry I can't make it, that's the day of <son's> birthday" and leave it at that.   Those who are invited and know about the event will realise, and those who aren't won't be offended by you mentioning a prior engagement.

Otherwise, it may be most simple to pick up the phone and just let Nick and Nora know of the date conflict.  Probably just an oops moment!


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