Wedding Bliss and Blues > Where Do I Start?

Commitment Ceremony odd update #50

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Nikko-chan:
I am posting for a friend. She and her fiance are planning to have a ceremony next year. The reason for the commitment ceremony is that my friend is on disability. Through that she gets medical benefits. If they get married she loses her disability, and everything that comes with it, which would leave them in dire financial straits without that extra income, and medical benefits because of her disabilities. So they want to have a commitment ceremony, with similar vows to those used in weddings... basically they want to have a wedding without the legal on paper "we are married as recognized by the government" aspect of it.

Thus my question. Is having a Commitment Ceremony with all of the wedding trappings but the legal stuff etiquettely okay?

What say you, ehellions?

LifeOnPluto:
To be honest, I'd feel a bit weird, if I was invited to a commitment ceremony that had all the trappings of an actual wedding.* If I was the happy couple, I'd focus more on making it a special party, rather than having a big white dress, tossing the bouquet, wedding-style cake, etc.

*Unless the couple were prevented by law from marrying (such as a same-gender couple). In which case, I'd be fine with a BWW type ceremony. But this couple DOES have the option of getting married, despite the financial drawbacks, and are choosing not to do so.

PastryGoddess:
Something low key, yes.  Something on the level of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West...no.  Which to be fair is like comparing a flea and an elephant, but still.


I would feel weird knowing that  I was attending a "wedding" with a big white dress and 12 bridesmaids, and 3 junior bridesmaids, and a garter/bouquet toss, and all of the typical wedding stuff, when the couple wasn't actually legally married.  I would attend because I love them, but I would still feel weird.


I think if friend and fiance bill it as a celebration of love, rather than a "wedding", they won't go wrong

purple:
I think it's a bit 'off' myself.

Nikko-chan:

--- Quote from: purple on May 26, 2014, 12:20:37 AM ---I think it's a bit 'off' myself.

--- End quote ---

thats what i thought too, but i figured i'd see what everyone thought.

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