Wedding Bliss and Blues > Paper Trail

Appy Couple- Curious to hear people's thoughts

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I just finished an intensive one-year graduate program where I was in a cohort of 24 students.  One gal got engaged over spring break and is getting married next month, and she posted in our cohort facebook group (which is set to "secret") that we are all invited to her wedding and the invitation "would be posted shortly."  A few days later, she posted an image of a colorful invitation (completely computer generated) and instructions to go to their "Appy Couple" website to enter a code and RSVP.  At first I though this was a bit tacky, but, hey, the poor bride just whipped through her entire Master's in one year, is preparing to start her first year teaching in the fall, and I don't think her groom's life is any less hectic.  Whatever saves them some time and money is fine with me. 

However, I went to RSVP and I was surprised at how convenient it was- I entered my email address and the code she had given me, and it asked me to select if I would be attending the ceremony, reception, or both, and also asked me to select my dinner choice.  I then received a confirmation email. 

I had second thoughts at this point because:

1) The process was so easy for ME as a guest- I didn't have to worry about losing the invitation and forgetting to RSVP on time, or if my response had been lost in the mail.

2) It seems so much more environmentally friendly- no paper or gas used to deliver the invitation.

3) I could only RSVP for myself, so I'm guessing it saves the bride the trouble of getting response cards that include uninvited plus-ones or children.  Maybe she has to deal with people contacting her and asking how to RSVP for their date or child, but I'd rather have to have the "I'm sorry but we don't have space for dates" conversation before receiving the RSVP than after. 

4) I don't know if the app costs anything, but I'm sure it had to be less than the cost of postage and supplies to make the invitation- plus all the time it saved!  I know the bride has been SWAMPED with schoolwork, and we weren't supposed to work while in this program so money is tight for her.  Plus, she and her groom don't believe in living together before marriage, so they need to find an apartment and plan a move on top of everything else.

So, as much as I love receiving a colorful, handmade invitation in the mail, with technology being what it is and the cost/amount of work that it takes to plan a wedding, I think I'm fine with couples using this approach, especially considering this couple's circumstances (the short engagement and finishing school, etc). Curious to hear what others think?? 

Texas Mom:
I like them.

I've received 2 invitations in the last 3 years that had a web-based RSVPs.   The invitations were standard invitations, but instead of the response card & envelope, there was a card with the website address.

I, too, like the e-mail confirmation that my reply has been received.  When I mail a reply card, I always worry about it being lost.

We used online RSVP's for our wedding and it worked fabulously from my end.
I got feedback from guests that they loved it too.

The site we used allowed us to generate spreadsheets in various forms that made it easy to provide details to caterers etc.

Our actual invitation was a single card in the mail, with directions to the site to RSVP.

I think that web-based RSVPs are completely fine.

I do think it's best that the invitation itself reflect the level of solemnity of this occasion. It's a big deal, getting married, and I don't like too casual of an invitation. However, I wouldn't get personally upset. I just think, from an etiquette geek standpoint, that email or electronic is too casual for the invitation itself.

--- Quote ---So, as much as I love receiving a colorful, handmade invitation in the mail,

--- End quote ---

Actually, etiquette purists like Miss Manners wouldn't approve of colorful, and would think engraved was better than handmade.

And colorful, handmade invitations are phenomenally extras--they aren't actually standard.

I've loved using the web-based RSVP method for the weddings I've received. Generally, though, what I've received is a standard paper invitation with a website link to enter the RSVP - so I've still gotten the paper invitation. In that case, it's not a money-saver (other than the cost of the response card, envelope, and stamps if you choose to include that) but it is tremendously helpful with your point #3 in the OP. There's an "Attending" / "Not Attending" button for each invited guest by name (or in one case, I had one for "Menley" and for "Menley's choice of guest") and it makes it so easy! I personally love it.


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