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Author Topic: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code  (Read 23369 times)

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asb8

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Re: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code
« Reply #75 on: June 08, 2014, 07:10:34 PM »
I agree. There is nothing wrong with putting policies in writing. Just because everyone abides by it now, doesn't mean it can't become a problem down the line. As a manager of a large number of employees, being able to reference written policy made my life a lot easier. Judgment become objective, instead of subjective and I couldn't be accused of singling anybody out.

scotcat60

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Re: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code
« Reply #76 on: June 10, 2014, 06:40:16 AM »
I agree. There is nothing wrong with putting policies in writing. Just because everyone abides by it now, doesn't mean it can't become a problem down the line

Good points, Twik and asb8. I heard of a union rep remarking "Dress Codes? Oh Deity, they're a b****y minefield....."

MissRose

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Re: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code
« Reply #77 on: July 02, 2014, 06:23:01 PM »
One of our bosses has sent out a dress code reminder about what is considered business casual and casual dress/dress down.  Some people are wearing flip flop sandals, shorts, tanks etc (mainly on weekends) which are not allowed any day of the week so he had to send out the reminder to the floor. 

If only they would address the excessive cleavage exposure on some of the women and some of their skin tight pants/trousers!

lollylegs

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Re: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code
« Reply #78 on: July 03, 2014, 01:23:56 AM »
I have taught my kids- "perception is NOT reality" so you can use that to your advantage, because many people instead DO believe what they see.   I know that girl is smart, but the perception she was giving off was hot date, not graduate. 

While I think the question of "was this appropriate for graduation?" is a different subject (and I wouldn't necessarly say that what she wore *was* appropriate), I think it would be amazing if we stopped perpetuating the dichotomy that you have to give off "hot date" & not graduate/smart. Instead of assuming that "hot date" makes any kind of commentary about the intelligence of the hot date, why don't we all learn to mentally say "hey, there's a hot looking person. I wonder if they're also smart/funny/etc" or "hey, there's a hot person. no addition mental commentary needed about what else they are, since all I can clearly perceive right now is that they are attractive to me".

As for appropriateness...I think my (Methodist) college actually gave us a dress code for what to wear under our robes. I don't remember how strict it was, but I do remember rolling my eyes at this last ditch change to control us before we were outta there. And if I remember correctly a bunch of people totally ignored it, since part of the code was "men must wear pants" and it was like 95 degrees that day.

Agreed. Gawking at an 18-year-old girl and making assumptions about what assumptions other people might make about her doesn't exactly sound kind or charitable. Making assumptions about her parents isn't any kinder.

I'm smart  and I have a very strong moral compass and I like short skirts and I know how to follow rules (and when I do not care to do so). None of these things are in conflict.

Pod. And I also have a brain, despite my love of mini skirts and shorty shorts (which I would, of course, never wear in a workplace. At my high school graduation? Maybe.)

Those are some pretty offensive assumptions made about her parents (maybe they were taking photos because it was her high school graduation?)

That is the why I have been teaching my kids that perception is NOT reality. 

The red hot skin tight and micro-short dress was on a smart young woman who went home with her parents; the college professor looks homeless. 

the girl is not into hooking up and the professor has money. 

But the perceptions are different, and society does judge.

My kids can wear what they want when they are out of the house as adults.  Meanwhile, they see others watching others, and making assumptions. 

If I see you wearing scrubs, I assume you work in something related to a medical field.  If you are always wearing a suit and tie, I doubt you work outside. 

My DH has a pony tail, to show that he does not have to conform to society.  He is in computers.  Sometimes he gets asked what band he plays in/what instrument.  They perceive that long hair= rock band. 

All of this is just making me really sad. Rather than throwing your hands up in the air and saying, "Oh well, society judges" why don't we fight against the offensive assumptions that society makes?

I, for the record, never assume that an attractive girl in a little red dress is promiscuous or a bimbo, nor would I assume that a guy with long hair is non-conformist. How about getting to know people?

Jocelyn

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Re: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code
« Reply #79 on: July 05, 2014, 07:43:05 PM »
Having a dress code also protects employees from criticism from unreasonable managers. I know of a professor who was accosted by the university professor for being on campus without wearing a jacket and tie. On a Saturday morning. When he was only there to work in his office, not to go into a classroom. After that, he simply refused to go to campus on the weekends- anything not done just had to wait til Monday.
I worked at a social service agency that just had 'professional dress' as the dress code. This worked until we hired a guy who just had to get into a metaphorical spitting contest with everyone. He started coming into the agency to work in his office in nonprofessional clothing. The problem was, while it was his day off, the rest of us were there seeing clients, and clients were seeing him. If he'd been in jeans and a polo shirt, he would have skated by...but it was when he came in wearing raggedy shorts that showed his underpants, and a shirt that looked like it had had acid spilled on it. Honestly, I don't think I would have worn that to do yardwork, and if I did, and needed to run to the store, I'd've changed my clothes first.
Thus, we got the dress code banning jeans.

greencat

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Re: s/o of Millinery - blatant violation of a dress code
« Reply #80 on: July 05, 2014, 08:32:30 PM »
One of my food service jobs had a dress code that stipulated that we wear the company-provided light blue button up with black pants.  However, the management did not keep a stock of them, as there weren't that many employees, and due to some ordering mishaps, I'd been at the job for two months before shirts in my size showed up.  The manager told us that he preferred for us to wear a black shirt anyway as it looked much neater than the light blue that the restaurant's owner had arbitrarily decided on.  We certainly preferred to wear black, as it was a great deal better at hiding the many food stains our shirts acquired over the course of a day!