General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Weird Facebook Exchange with FB "Friend" That Scares Me

(1/6) > >>

F_L_O:
I had a really bizarre exchange on FB messenger this week. A person whod recently friended me (he is the friend of several of my other FB friends; these are friends from another message board, none of whom I know IRL).

Anyway, this guy (Ill call him Pat) who is probably mid-thirties (Im mid-fifties) messages me a few days after he friends me, asking if he can talk to me. I wont go word for word but basically he said that hes sad and confused, his aunt just died and he just came out to his family and friends and he is lonely and wanted someone to talk to.

I replied that I was sorry about his loss, and that I thought he was very brave for coming out (why he was telling me this, I dont know). But our exchanges seemed harmless at the time; I told him it may take awhile but it was better to be true to himself. Eventually I mentioned my husband had left me and I gave him a very brief, condensed version of why (just grew apart, is basically what I said).

Then things got weird. He started calling me beautiful and he wanted to make me a necklace, and he asked me to send him a current picture of myself over the chat stupidly, I did that. At this point, it still wasn't the weirdest, I just thought, Aww, heres a nice gay guy who makes jewelry and wants to make something for me, a person who is being nice to him on the internet when hes feeling down.

THEN he starts asking questions, like Would you ever date anyone younger than you?  Have you ever considered being with a woman? Do you believe in love at first sight? I respond that Im still married, and very confused, and only want to be friends, and I said I want to make this perfectly clear, and by the way, didnt you say you had just come out?? He replied, yes, but I've never felt like this before.

I ended the conversation and since then hes tried to message me and I've kept my replies brief and impersonal.

Has this happened to anyone? Should I block him? My thoughts are Im possibly being cat_fished. I neither want nor am looking for a relation_ship right now; my DH and I are still talking so who knows what will happen there? I thought I was being a nice person, just being friendly, but I gave this guy an inch and he took a mile.

Promise:
Unfriend and block him! He's not a real friend.

LB:
Trust your gut. Something feels off about this for a reason. Block him.

LB:

--- Quote from: Foxy Lady on May 30, 2014, 09:32:17 AM ---but I gave this guy an inch and he took a mile.

--- End quote ---

This is a picture of things to come.

bloo:

--- Quote from: Foxy Lady on May 30, 2014, 09:32:17 AM ---Anyway, this guy (Ill call him Pat) who is probably mid-thirties (Im mid-fifties) messages me a few days after he friends me, asking if he can talk to me. I wont go word for word but basically he said that hes sad and confused, his aunt just died and he just came out to his family and friends and he is lonely and wanted someone to talk to.

--- End quote ---

Here's a major red flag. He maneuvered you into an 'intimate confidant' immediately. I would have responded with 'Sorry that's not how I use FB,' and if he messaged a second time I'd have blocked and unfriended.

When I had FB, I really didn't use it the way others might. I friended those I know IRL. And I'd block and/or unfriend those where their use of FB didn't align with mine.

You are not being rude if you block and unfriend him, in case you were wondering. If he 'makes a scene' with your other FB friends, let him. He's still the rude one.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version