Author Topic: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?  (Read 6522 times)

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Bijou

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #15 on: June 01, 2014, 06:54:51 AM »
So you ruined the boy's first concert by not allowing them to annoy everyone else around them with their whispering.   ::)   


<sarcasm> Yes you were horribly rude</sarcasm>.  No really you were fine to ask them to stop whispering.  They were the rude ones and it worked to get them to shut up.
Never mind that they were ruining the concert for maybe 30 other people or however many audience members were within earshot of their noise. (Yep.  They were making noise.  During a performance not only of pianists, but apparently one they know personally, no less. 
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Hillia

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #16 on: June 01, 2014, 07:14:11 AM »
It would be interesting to hear Complaining Lady talking to the pianist she knows so well, and who invited her darlings to the concert.  'Can you believe this woman actually told the boys to be quiet while you were playing?  How dare she?'

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Redsoil

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #17 on: June 01, 2014, 07:14:26 AM »
I actually thought your wording was perfect.  Direct and unambiguous, not casting aspersions or being horrible in any way - just a clear statement of fact, which the boys responded to.  Job done.  The adult with them was the rude one.
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Ceallach

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #18 on: June 01, 2014, 07:45:48 AM »
The only person who behaved inappropriately was the person who confronted you so rudely.   

The boys were clearly excited about the concert - it's quite sweet really - and it's great that once they were corrected they quieted down.   That's how people learn, and hopefully they'll remember in future to contain their excitement to discuss at the end.    You handled it appropriately and politely.
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Girly

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #19 on: June 01, 2014, 11:04:51 AM »
So you old meeeeenie, you spoiled pwescious first concert!  I am reeling from the horror of what those poor, poor boys suffered!/s  The woman with them was; ignorant, wrong, rude, entitled, self centered, enabling and thoughtless with a "kids first" mentality.  She makes it sound like their talking was ok since "they were invited".  *Gasp* probably most of the other people in attendance were invited to some degree as well so by her reasoning it would be OK if everyone just talked through the whole thing.  Pretty much the woman thinks you were wrong and rude for doing the job she should have done from the start.  There is nothing "mean" about telling kids to zip it, it's called preparing them for life, you know doing a parent's job.  I hope these young boys don't think it's OK to talk through someone's wedding or funeral because after all "they were invited".

Absolutely unbelievable.  People wonder why some of us avoid families and family activities like the black death - this is a shining example of why we do.  I go to movies in the daytime, midweek, first show, two weeks or more after first release, request no seating by families in every situation when it's possible and patronize absolutely no place where "Kids eat free".  This is why many of us act this way.  Parents are very different than they used to be and not in a good way.

Edited to add:  These caregivers missed a prime opportunity to instruct these boys on how an invited guest behaves. As a guest there are certain expectations of your behavior on the host's part.  If you're not a good guest you will stop being invited to things, if you're a good guest and meet your responsibilities then all sorts of new experiences can open up to you.  It's all so simple to teach and these caregivers failed their children horribly.  Social negligence is my term for it.

Wow, I'm not really sure what to say to this entire post except that's an awfully broad brush you are painting 'all parents' with.

artk2002

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #20 on: June 01, 2014, 12:18:26 PM »
You were not bad at all. If anybody ruined those kids' experience it was the parents who failed to prepare them. Showing the "we're so important" card just tells you what their attitude is towards other people.
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MonteCristo

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #21 on: June 02, 2014, 02:55:14 PM »
I think you were fine.  I might have gone up to the boys at the intermission and talked to them and explained that I was glad they were enjoying the concert, and that they probably didn't realize how loud they were, and how much I appreciated that they were quiet once it was brought to there attention.  But I tend to parent every kid in my vicinity (which may or may not be advisable).   :)

TootsNYC

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #22 on: June 02, 2014, 02:58:38 PM »
I think you were fine.  I might have gone up to the boys at the intermission and talked to them and explained that I was glad they were enjoying the concert, and that they probably didn't realize how loud they were, and how much I appreciated that they were quiet once it was brought to there attention.  But I tend to parent every kid in my vicinity (which may or may not be advisable).   :)

That's exactly what I wouldn't do. They got the point--they don't need a lecture after the fact.

I wouldn't even lecture my own kids that way.

I might go up to them and say, "How'd you hear about the concert?" Or some other conversation completely -not- related to the incident.

MonteCristo

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #23 on: June 02, 2014, 03:39:05 PM »
I think you were fine.  I might have gone up to the boys at the intermission and talked to them and explained that I was glad they were enjoying the concert, and that they probably didn't realize how loud they were, and how much I appreciated that they were quiet once it was brought to there attention.  But I tend to parent every kid in my vicinity (which may or may not be advisable).   :)

That's exactly what I wouldn't do. They got the point--they don't need a lecture after the fact.

I wouldn't even lecture my own kids that way.

I might go up to them and say, "How'd you hear about the concert?" Or some other conversation completely -not- related to the incident.

I don't mean lecture them, more to soften the fact that I barked at them during the performance.  And I wouldn't harp on the incident, like you I'd talk about the concert mainly.  But like I said, that's me. 

BeagleMommy

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #24 on: June 02, 2014, 03:52:03 PM »
Complaining Woman was rude.  OP you were fine.  The boys needed to have someone teach them proper concert etiquette.

I took DS to his first Broadway show when he was six.  We had taken him to kid-friendly movies since he was four.  We taught him that you don't talk during a performance because it is inconsiderate of others.  These boys should have been told this as well.

Aquamarine

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #25 on: June 02, 2014, 03:57:44 PM »
I think you were fine.  I might have gone up to the boys at the intermission and talked to them and explained that I was glad they were enjoying the concert, and that they probably didn't realize how loud they were, and how much I appreciated that they were quiet once it was brought to there attention.  But I tend to parent every kid in my vicinity (which may or may not be advisable).   :)

This is overstepping.  You are not required to explain yourself to people who are not able to follow the rules and basic principles of etiquette, whether they are children or not.  At this point it is their caretakers responsibility to explain things further.

If people don't want to be shushed or told to be quiet then they should not behave in ways that create the need for others to do those very things.  H will freeze over before I apologize or explain myself to someone for shushing them, when in fact, they owe me the apology for being noisy.  Children don't get a pass from me, if they are old enough to be there they are old enough to follow the rules like everyone else has to.  If they are not old enough to be quiet when necessary then they do not belong where quiet is not only a requirement, but a necessity for the performers to concentrate.

If the parents need to point fingers then they should point directly at themselves.
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JeanFromBNA

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #26 on: June 03, 2014, 05:41:01 PM »
The parents/caregivers ruined their first concert by not preparing them in advance for how to behave.

Raintree

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2014, 02:41:12 AM »
So you old meeeeenie, you spoiled pwescious first concert!  I am reeling from the horror of what those poor, poor boys suffered!/s  The woman with them was; ignorant, wrong, rude, entitled, self centered, enabling and thoughtless with a "kids first" mentality.  She makes it sound like their talking was ok since "they were invited".  *Gasp* probably most of the other people in attendance were invited to some degree as well so by her reasoning it would be OK if everyone just talked through the whole thing.  Pretty much the woman thinks you were wrong and rude for doing the job she should have done from the start.  There is nothing "mean" about telling kids to zip it, it's called preparing them for life, you know doing a parent's job.  I hope these young boys don't think it's OK to talk through someone's wedding or funeral because after all "they were invited".

Absolutely unbelievable.  People wonder why some of us avoid families and family activities like the black death - this is a shining example of why we do.  I go to movies in the daytime, midweek, first show, two weeks or more after first release, request no seating by families in every situation when it's possible and patronize absolutely no place where "Kids eat free".  This is why many of us act this way.  Parents are very different than they used to be and not in a good way.

Edited to add:  These caregivers missed a prime opportunity to instruct these boys on how an invited guest behaves. As a guest there are certain expectations of your behavior on the host's part.  If you're not a good guest you will stop being invited to things, if you're a good guest and meet your responsibilities then all sorts of new experiences can open up to you.  It's all so simple to teach and these caregivers failed their children horribly.  Social negligence is my term for it.

Wow, I'm not really sure what to say to this entire post except that's an awfully broad brush you are painting 'all parents' with.

I can't find the part where Rosewater says "all parents." I agree with her post, and although I absolutely agree that it's not "all parents" it's enough parents to infiltrate any reasonably sized public gathering that includes children. Only takes one in a crowd, in fact, and there usually is at least one.




Katana_Geldar

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #28 on: June 04, 2014, 02:50:35 AM »
OP, you should gave to turned around only once for it to be enough for them to know to be quiet.

Last time I was at the theatre at a family show, four year old kicking my seat before it began. I turned around once and looked at her, not unkindly just turned around. That was all it took for there to be no seat kicking through the show!

Raintree

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Re: Incident at the classical music concert - was I bad?
« Reply #29 on: June 04, 2014, 02:51:06 AM »
Someone needed to clue them in that they needed to be quieter.  I do think it would have been better to ask if they could please be quieter, but that's probably just a personal preference.

Not quieter - silent. Any talking/whispering during a live performance, especially classical music, is unacceptable.

OK, I'll give a pass for the odd quiet-as-possible whisper of something necessary, like, "do you have a kleenex?" but most of the whispering/talking I hear during performances is totally unnecessary. Last show I went to (not a classical music concert, but an acrobatic performance set to music) had people talking all around me, in regular voices. VERY annoying and distracting for other audience members. For a more high-energy performance such as what I'm describing, responses to the show itself (such as "WOWWW!!!") are fine IMO, but conversations? There are so many other opportunities to talk about the show. During intermission, after the show, etc etc. Why can't people just shut up for one hour of their lives?