Author Topic: Roommates and Netflix  (Read 8896 times)

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Onyx_TKD

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #30 on: June 02, 2014, 08:01:55 PM »
That said, I would advise you to take a look at what you're feeling and make sure that you're not projecting other annoyances onto this. It's possible that you really do feel that strongly about your Netflix recommendations, which is totally fine, but it seems likely to me that you're allowing this issue to be the one through which you take our your other resentments concerning your roommate. And if that's the case, that should moderate your response.

I agree that it would be a good idea to assess whether other annoyances are contributing to this issue. However, if that's the case, I think this would be an excellent place to start enforcing boundaries and teaching the roommate that ignoring the OP's preferences has consequences. A dispute over usage of communal property or over essential household items can be messy to deal with, since one can't reasonably just cut the troublemaker off from using them. But one can draw that clear-cut boundary over a purely luxury item that indisputably belongs to one roommate! Regardless of what other annoyances are feeding into the issue, the OP can safely take a stand here that "My Netflix account and my PS3 are my fun indulgences. You have been using them in a way that makes them less fun for me, and have ignored my requests to stop, so I'm no longer willing to share them."

omjulie

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #31 on: June 02, 2014, 08:10:06 PM »
Oh, absolutely! This is a very good place to enforce boundaries. It's clear-cut and pretty easy to actually do something about. I was more addressing the emotions behind the response, which might affect some of how OP delivers the message and the severity with which s/he enforces it. If my roommate is mildly annoying me, for example, I'll take a breath, calmly explain the problem, and give them a couple of chances to fix it (for example, I'll be OK with dishes being done 80% of the time instead of all of the time, or something like that, if such indicates there's been progress). If my roommate is seriously upsetting me, though, and s/he knows that what they're doing is upsetting me, then I'll have much less tolerance and respond much more harshly.

Either way, I express myself and enforce my boundaries, but how I go about that varies a bit based on the perspective I can put on the situation.

SoCalVal

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #32 on: June 02, 2014, 08:34:53 PM »
I guess the bottom line is it's bothering you and your roommate not only refuses to adhere to your request but tells you you're overreacting...over something he's getting to use for free.  Frankly, it doesn't matter if you're overreacting -- your account, your rules.  Simply sign out after each time you use it; that will guarantee he can't alter your recommendations any longer.  He's already indicated he's not going to do what you want so why have any more discussion about it.  You can't get him to do what you want so do what you can -- log out of your account and leave it at that.



lowspark

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #33 on: June 09, 2014, 02:57:39 PM »
I think it doesn't matter if you're overreacting or not. It's your account. You are allowing him to use it for free as a favor. He needs to abide by your conditions or you should end the favor. Period.

Which is worse? Him using your profile and messing up the recommendations or you having to sign in and sign out every time? I agree with those who say to just change your password, sign out every time, and tell him to pay for his own account cuz the free ride is over. And yeah, I'd unplug the PS3 as well. Why are you the one stuck paying for all the entertainment for the household?

Arila

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #34 on: June 09, 2014, 03:39:26 PM »
Ugh, having used my sister's PSP for netflix makes me re-think the whole sign in sign out thing. I "typed" the PW wrong about 4 times, and its really cumbersome to arrow your way around the stinking keyboard!


Maybe make a third profile -- the PSP profile. Sure, it won't save your queue or what you were watching before, but it won't mess up your main profile recommendations either.

CocoCamm

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #35 on: June 12, 2014, 04:56:10 PM »
I get where your coming from. My SIL lives with us and uses our Netflix account she adds stuff to the queu watches random things and it does annoy me. In the grand scheme of things though it's super petty so I bite my tongue.

I mean you have to live with this person day in and day out why sweat the small stuff. The way I look at roomie relationships is the less friction the better as it leads to more good will and an overall happier household.

Victim Of Fate

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #36 on: June 13, 2014, 01:57:41 PM »
Okay, so after a little more investigation, it turned out that he was using the Netflix app on the TV, which doesn't allow you to select a profile (and which I'd forgotten I'd signed in to). I have reasserted the fact that he has his own profile which is easily accessible through the PS3. Still a little annoyed that he didn't go through the PS3 when he wasn't asked to select a profile on the TV app (as the whole reason I set him up with a profile was because I was annoyed with my recommendations being muddied, and he knew that because I told him), but I guess I'll get over it.

squeakers

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #37 on: June 13, 2014, 04:29:06 PM »
I actually have a somewhat similar irritation going on.  My desktop is located in the kitchen.  My DH has a pc is our bedroom.  In the morning when I am not up he will login and use his profile on my pc so as to not wake me up.

But then he can't be bothered to click "logout" and then "shut down" when he is done.  Which means when I start up I automatically click on his profile (thinking it's mine) and have to logoff and then login to mine.

After whining at him numerous times I got a little mean.  I put a password (naughty words) and changed his background to a tasteful nude of a guy (facebook safe photo). he had to ask me for the password... and then was all "wut!" when the new background smiled up at him.

He managed to logout for 2 whole weeks! 

He's backslid since.. sigh.  I'm thinking a new background that simply is text on a colored background "log out b4 you shut down" in large font.

After that... I'm booting him off my pc and he can use his not as much fun work laptop. (No downloading, no surfing questionable sites and slow compared to my gaming pc.)
"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

Aquamarine

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #38 on: July 09, 2014, 09:03:04 PM »
I would logout and change any passwords involved.  He's an adult he can pay for his own account.  The fact that he has argued with you over how to handle your account is a no for me and I would be done.  No notice, no warning, he's already had those, he doesn't get anymore.

He needs to grow up.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

jackie jormp jomp

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #39 on: August 15, 2014, 01:53:57 AM »
Honestly, and I know this isn't the point, Netflix's recommendations are crap anyway. The other day it suggested I might like Glee because I like Dexter. Um...
I suggested "Three Men and a Baby" to me because I watched "I Survived a Cult."
K...

Winterlight

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Re: Roommates and Netflix
« Reply #40 on: August 15, 2014, 10:56:05 AM »
I'm a little confused - have you actually spoken to him about it, and he has literally said that you should just get over yourself? Or are you describing the subtext you've inferred from his actions? My reaction to the former would be very different from my reaction to the latter.

Your first step, if you haven't done it already, is to actually tell him in so many words, "Roommate, if you're going to use my Netflix, I need you to use your own profile every time. If you can't do that, I'm going to sign out of it so that you can't use it." Don't argue with him about this. Just let him know how it's going to be. If he tries to argue, just shrug it off - "I'm sorry, but we've talked about this before and this is how it's going to be." Then change the subject or end the conversation. You don't have to be angry or overly stern about it - just state it as a matter of fact.

If you find that he then does watch something on your account, start signing out. I know that's annoying, but this is one of those things where you have to look at what you can control vs what you can't. If it's really going to bother you, and he isn't going to change his habits, then the only thing that's in your control is whether he has access to your account at all.

To be honest, I relate to your roommate's attitude that this is a very small thing which, from my perspective, it looks like you're blowing out of proportion. Then again, I've shared my account with enough people from the time before profiles were a thing that my recommendations are all messed up. With my last roommate, I could always tell when she'd been watching it on my gaming console because of the change in recommendations. Then again, I once got a recommendation for "Dexter's Laboratory" (an animated children's show) that said it was specifically because I watched "Dexter" (a graphic show about a serial killer), so who knows how reliable they would've been in the first place. I think if I rated more movies the recommendations would get better, though.

That said, I would advise you to take a look at what you're feeling and make sure that you're not projecting other annoyances onto this. It's possible that you really do feel that strongly about your Netflix recommendations, which is totally fine, but it seems likely to me that you're allowing this issue to be the one through which you take our your other resentments concerning your roommate. And if that's the case, that should moderate your response.

Edited to add: If it really is bothering you, though, and you're confident you're not going to get over it, then he doesn't have to "get it" or relate to your feelings. He just has to understand what your boundaries are and respect them. If he can't do that, then he doesn't get the privilege you've been giving him. I might give him more than one chance if it really does look like he's trying but sometimes doesn't know how to use the PS3 properly (my X-box makes it pretty obvious which profile you're choosing, but I guess it could be different on PS3), but otherwise just cut him off.

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