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Author Topic: Roomate Having Several Guests Over Update #33  (Read 19259 times)

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Re: Roomate Having Several Guests Over Update #33
« Reply #45 on: June 19, 2014, 08:13:23 PM »
I'm wondering if she has picked up that something was bothering you.  And, like you, rather than talk about it, has decided to avoid you.

If this is someone you would like to be friends with after the lease is up, I would have a talk with her.  You may feel like the changes you wanted happened so why talk, but is her avoiding you what you want?


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  • the soul of a cat, in the body of a person...
Re: Roomate Having Several Guests Over Update #33
« Reply #46 on: June 24, 2014, 10:27:10 AM »
This sounds like one of those situations where it's going to escalate in minute increments. In other words, neither of you is going to be hostile but those tiny irritations are going to continue to grow.

I see that you signed a lease. Would it help if you asked her if you could talk; maybe one of you might move out since money isn't an issue. If it could be a mutual, and mutually satisfying, decision then things could be done in a nice way. Sometimes roommate situations, even with both parties trying, just don't work. Best to get out them if you can.

We're only here for another month and to be honest, what we have going now doesn't bother me. The hassle of moving would be more trouble than it's worth. I don't let things escalate. I will take a step back (as I did when I made this thread) to see if my thinking is off or unreasonable, but I'm known more for being too blunt than for letting things get out of hand. There's nothing passive about my aggression.

Sooooo...she did a bunch of things that really bothered you, you weren't passive in showing her that you were bothered, and now she's avoiding you? Am I reading this correctly?

Did you end up talking to her at all about any of the issues? Or were you just...aggressive in a non-passive way?

Even if things are "mostly resolved" it sounds like you might need to clear the air & maybe talk about making a fresh start, so the rest of your time together is more pleasant for both of you.

No, I just mean that I'm generally not the kind of person to allow things to "escalate in minute increments" or walk around and act passive aggressive toward someone. I'm fine with the way things are now and will directly address her about it if I feel like I need to.

That makes sense, and I'm not trying to push you, but if it seems that she is visibly uncomfortable, do you want to clear the air about that?

I would, but YMMV. If she's not a close friend, and you're fine with the friendship falling off after this, then I could see why you wouldn't want to broach the subject with her & smooth things out, as that might indicate that you're more invested in the friendship than you actually are.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine


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Re: Roomate Having Several Guests Over Update #33
« Reply #47 on: June 25, 2014, 08:30:55 AM »
Just because she wants to get up does that affect you?
You seem to be feeling bad about it...that is her issue.
As a internet quote I have seen says:

"Not my Monkey. Not my Circus."