Author Topic: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?  (Read 3879 times)

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kudeebee

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2014, 10:34:18 PM »
I wouldn't have paid him in advance.  It is not your responsibility to pick up Norma's slack in paying him.

Girly

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2014, 10:52:55 PM »
I think weather you paid him in advance or not is up to you and your husband.

I also think you should say nothing to Norma, and the gardener shouldn't have said anything to you about her, either. You have no idea what the story is, or if it's even true, and frankly, if you are happy with his services, it doesn't really have anything to do with you and DH.

veronaz

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #17 on: June 03, 2014, 11:02:13 PM »
Quote
When I saw this thread's title. I thought it was going to be at least a PG-13 post.    ;D

Me, too! ;D  I was expecting something very different.

JenJay

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2014, 12:02:48 AM »
I think weather you paid him in advance or not is up to you and your husband.

I also think you should say nothing to Norma, and the gardener shouldn't have said anything to you about her, either. You have no idea what the story is, or if it's even true, and frankly, if you are happy with his services, it doesn't really have anything to do with you and DH.

I agree. It doesn't matter why he needed an advance or what's going on with the neighbor. He asked for some money upfront, you decided to pay him, end of story. If you shared his services with a neighbor and split the bill, and he asked you for her half, I could see discussing it with her. It sounds like you two happen to have the same landscaper but on separate accounts so each of your dealings with him shouldn't be the other's business.

Psychopoesie

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2014, 12:18:05 AM »
If he wanted an advance, he should have asked without mentioning the specific neighbour. It seems unnecessary and designed to create awkwardness.

It doesn't seem like good business sense for starters to criticise one client to another, doubly so when they're neighbours.

If it seemed out of character for the neighbour to do something like that, I'd be wondering if I was being fed a line. It would also make me wonder what he might be saying to other clients about me. That would make me more inclined to give the neighbour a heads up about it.

From the OP's update, the neighbour apparently "had George to do several "extras" for her and then either tries to flake out or cheat him when it comes to payment" so my sympathies are more with George at this point. Although it's not down to OP to compensate him for neighbour's bad behaviour.

So I would just let it go at this point. I can't see how telling the neighbour serves any purpose.


cicero

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #20 on: June 04, 2014, 12:31:39 AM »
Op I wouldn't say anything to the neighbors and quite frankly don't think you needed to give the advance. If Norma doesn't pay him/flakes out, then that's between him and her. He's running a business, not asking for charitable contributions. You said that you want to talk to Norma so George doesn't have to come to you to bail him out. Well, he doesn't have to come to you - he has other options. As PPs noted- if he needed an advance he could've asked for one without gossiping ( or making up stories?) About your neighbo and if you felt that you couldn't give him the advance because of your own bills, then you should've said " sorry, can't help you out"



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purple

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2014, 12:57:06 AM »
I think weather you paid him in advance or not is up to you and your husband.

I also think you should say nothing to Norma, and the gardener shouldn't have said anything to you about her, either. You have no idea what the story is, or if it's even true, and frankly, if you are happy with his services, it doesn't really have anything to do with you and DH.

I agree. It doesn't matter why he needed an advance or what's going on with the neighbor. He asked for some money upfront, you decided to pay him, end of story. If you shared his services with a neighbor and split the bill, and he asked you for her half, I could see discussing it with her. It sounds like you two happen to have the same landscaper but on separate accounts so each of your dealings with him shouldn't be the other's business.

This is where I stand too.

Margo

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2014, 06:18:42 AM »
I agree that the issue of you paying him, and the issue of Norma paying him, are two separate issues. If you were OK with paying him early, then that's entirely up to you. Equally, if you weren't, it would have been totally fine for you to ell him that unfortunately it's not possible.

If Norma doesn't pay him, he needs to address that with her. If you *want* I see no issue at all with you mentioning to George that you've seen Norma so it appears that she is not currently away, but you don't have to.

Edited to add: I would definitely *not* say anything to Norma. Her relationship with her gardener is none of your business, and you have to live with her as a neighbour - I think speaking to her has a huge risk of causing embarrassment, or anger, or at best putting you in the midle of her complaining about her finances and/or George's indiscretion, and you could find yourself manouevered into a position where you are expected to mediate between them. I wouldn't touch it with a barge-pole.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2014, 06:22:07 AM by Margo »

Hmmmmm

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2014, 09:01:07 AM »
I think weather you paid him in advance or not is up to you and your husband.

I also think you should say nothing to Norma, and the gardener shouldn't have said anything to you about her, either. You have no idea what the story is, or if it's even true, and frankly, if you are happy with his services, it doesn't really have anything to do with you and DH.

I agree with this. Would you still have advanced the money if George had said a customer you don't know had not paid him?

Outdoor Girl

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2014, 09:05:07 AM »
I wouldn't have paid him in advance.  It is not your responsibility to pick up Norma's slack in paying him.

I agree with this.  I've been burned too many times by paying in advance that I won't do it anymore.  And I especially wouldn't want to do it to take up someone else's slack.  Sorry, George, not my problem.  And being asked repeatedly?  Unless the man can make flowers grow and bloom by breathing on them, I'm finding a new gardener.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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lowspark

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2014, 09:12:57 AM »
His problem with Norma not paying (assuming that's true) is between him and Norma. 

<snip>

Pay him for July services? Essentially you loaned your gardener money......not a good move, imo (especially considering your budget issues).

I don't think you should say anything to Norma.

I agree with this. The reason why he needs the advance is irrelevant. You either want to and can afford to give him an advance or you don't. Period. Act on that only.

Getting involved further to the point of actually bringing it up with Norma is not really your place. If you and Norma were good friends, they yeah, I could see you comparing notes so to speak. But it doesn't sound like that's the case at all.

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find out if he is "scamming" us because he got in trouble gambling yet again.

If you don't trust the gardener due to past behavior, you need to base your decision on that trust (or lack of it) not on whether Norma really did pay him or not. Your statement there, especially the "yet again" is a huge red flag and there's no way I'd advance this guy anything regardless of the reason he gives for needing it.

And yeah, I'd find a new gardener.

veronaz

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2014, 09:24:23 AM »
I agree, lowspark.  Red flags flashing all over the place.  But as it stands now OP has paid him for July so she really canít get another gardener until after that.  Between now and then anything can happen.  (He might quit, he might  get ill or have some emergency, he might come up with excuses why he canít perform services in June or July.)  And if any of those things happen, good luck getting the $150 back.  The fact that he's asked for advances before says something.  His late rent problem (if that's even true) might be due to his gambling and may have nothing to do with Norma.

But meanwhile Iíd keep an eye out for another gardener.  George has too much drama, and I just would not want to deal with him.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2014, 09:33:28 AM by veronaz »

siamesecat2965

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2014, 10:12:51 AM »
If you want to say something to Norma, go ahead.  But it's not necessary.  Norma and George have their own business relationship.  if Norma doesn't pay him, then he needs to deal directly with Norma.  It sits wrong with me that he is bringing you into a situation between him and Norma.  Even if Norma is the Wicked Witch of the North and West, he still shouldn't be involving other people in his business relationship with a client. 

If you could afford to pay him an advance, great.  But if you can't do that in the future, it's ok too.

POD. I'm a firm believer in minding my own business. Just because you both use his services, doesn't mean you should get involved in his financial arrangements between he and Norma. If she hasn't paid him, that's between the two of them. And, the fact you've paid him ahead before you've kind of set a precedent so he expects each time he asks, he may get what he wants.

bopper

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #28 on: June 04, 2014, 10:18:18 AM »
You are a nice person.

You do not owe George anything but the money you owe him for your garden.
You don't have to make up for Norma's shortcomings.

I would mention it to Norma.... "Your finances are none of my business, but I just wanted to mention that George said...

lowspark

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Re: The neighbor and the gardener...Do I say anything?
« Reply #29 on: June 04, 2014, 10:33:48 AM »
Thinking more about this, there are a lot of red flags here.

1. asking for an advance (a no-no in my book)
2. past gambling issue
3. telling OP whether other customers have paid or not -- does he tell other customers that you have not paid in order to get advances from them?

I don't think he had any business bringing up another customer's account with you. That is privileged information. Especially if she really hasn't paid! How indiscreet of this guy to discuss that with her neighbors!

No way I would feel comfortable bringing this up with Norma.
If she says she hasn't paid him -- how uncomfortable that will be for both of you! And how will you reply? By demanding she pony up (none of your business) or will it just lead to an uncomfortable silence?

If she says she has paid him, it will then put you in the distressing position of having to judge (in your own mind at least) who is telling the truth and who is lying. Ugh.

So yeah, you're paid up through July so of course, you can't do much in the meantime. But I would not want this guy working for me beyond that.