Everything I learned about life ... I learned from E-Hell

[MamaMootz]

I have been a member of this site for quite a few years, and I've learned a lot from my fellow E-Hellions. I often find myself passing along this wisdom IRL to other people.

My most recent example of this is yesterday. We have a Drama Llama at work who waits for people to go on vacation and sabotages their existing projects. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that he causes angst for the project managers, delays vital projects for the clients, his behavior intimidates other people on his team and upsets everyone.

The leader of our team is on vacation this week, so Drama Llama knows he can get away with a lot. My boss was trying to deal with him yesterday and was getting very upset in the process. BTW we have tried bringing this to the attention of his boss, who does not step in to assist.

I suggested that my boss should play a game in her mind of Drama Llama Bingo. She needs to count the things that he's doing to drive her nuts, and give herself a "Bingo!" when she reaches 5  and think of something nice to do for herself after work.   It really de-stressed Boss as she was able to take a negative situation and turn it around into something positive. I have the fellow E-Hellions to thank for that idea.

What have you taken from this site and used/shared with other people IRL?

[LadyL]

Oh, so many things! I've done bingo before. I also use "don't engage the crazy", "don't J.A.D.E.," and "that won't be possible" as advice all the time. LordL had a conversation with Evil Boss about changing his hours in which he used all three of those this very week.

[Tini]

I have been passing on a lot of advice on jadeing and boundary setting to my best friend so she could deal with her divorce and her verbally abusive, controlling ex. She said it really helped and is now remarried to a lovely man that is making her really happy.

[learningtofly]

"Don't engage the crazy"  "No is a complete sentence."  and I think this weekend I'm going to have to use "How kind of you to take an interest" so I'm practicing it.  I've given my mom advice over the years that I've received here.  We both try not to JADE.  I also took strength from Roe's summer of no.

[siamesecat2965]

Oh, so many things! I've done bingo before. I also use "don't engage the crazy", "don't J.A.D.E.," and "that won't be possible" as advice all the time. LordL had a conversation with Evil Boss about changing his hours in which he used all three of those this very week.

I've learned not to JADE, and also that the less said the better, as in say when my PT job asks me to work when I'm not scheduled, like they did last night since someone quit. "I'm sorry, I have plans" that covers everything!

 

[z_squared82]

My friend K (who has never read this site) and I are constantly telling our friend H to stop JADEing, only neither of us use that phrase. For example, H was asked by a coworker to switch shifts so the coworker could have Mother’s day off since she’s a mother and H is not. H said, No, I need to spend the day with my own mother. And then, No, I can’t, it would leave me short on hours one week and in OT the next and that’s not allowed. And every time the coworker came back to ask again, H gave her another excuse. We told her to stop making excuses, just say No, the coworker had her answer, if she didn’t like it that was her problem.

[Redneck Gravy]

No, is a complete sentence. I have plans.  What are you saying?   My favorites for dealing with requests/statements I don't want to engage conversation with.

I have learned that I am judgemental and need to work on that (which I have A Lot). 

Don't engage the crazy.  Don't engage the not so crazy either - that makes me crazy.

I have learned what the game "telephone" is (she said, she said, then she said...)   

[Baby Snakes]

The most important thing I learned is to "drop the rope".  I have done this with my SIL and my life is much more peaceful and pleasant as a result.

[MamaMootz]

I forgot another one - Bean Dipping.

My family had no idea what I meant by that, but I explained it to them and we always deploy it when necessary and refer to it in conversation.

It's a useful skill 

[AmethystAnne]

There are lots of individual things I've learned. But the main idea that covers them all is that no matter what happens in my life and I have no clue about what to do to resolve it, there is more than one person here who has not only lived in the problem but has found a way to overcome and to come out ahead of it a better person. And is willing to explain and discuss options.

[Coralreef]

"It's under control." That one is a favorite of mine, mostly when nosy people want to know about my finances. 

Recognizing Special Snowflakes and cutting them off at the pass. 

Do not engage the crazy.  Words to live by, but the crazy finds me on a regular basis since I work with the guy.

Not JADEing... Still working on it, but I'm getting there. 

Bean dipping.  I was good at that before eHell, specially at family reunions. 

 

[Redneck Gravy]

Yes, I forgot about the bean dip policy.

Sometimes I am required to throw buckets of bean dip at the face of the problem.  And then walk away. 

[Thipu1]

I've learned a lot about how people in other countries do and say things.

I've picked up some neat recipes and housekeeping tips.

I've learned polite ways to stand up with myself.

I've become grateful that our family members all get along well and like each other. 

[ScubaGirl]

Probably the biggest change with/in me is to look at issues from more than 1 side.  There have been topics that when I first read them I think "well, the answer is obvious!" but as I read more and more posts I realize it isn't so cut and dried.

I've developed more of a spine - which I think is a combination of learning the phrases here (and remembering to use them!) and age.  I'm nearly 50 and I don't put up with things like I would have before.

A niece told me once she was in a situation and thought to herself "What would Aunt Scubagirl do?"  (I can't tell you how flattered I was when she told me that!)  Apparently I have the reputation of staying calm, thinking before I speak, and being kindly honest even if what I have to say isn't so kind - which is something I've learned here.

[Outdoor Girl]

I've learned a lot about how people in other countries do and say things.

I've picked up some neat recipes and housekeeping tips.

I've learned polite ways to stand up with myself.

I've become grateful that our family members all get along well and like each other.

I agree, especially the bolded.

I've also learned that whatever minor curiosity I might have in joining Facebook, it isn't worth it to me.     (Privacy issues, general sniping, but the time suck being the biggest issue.)

I've also learned to better recognize when I'm being rude and pulling myself back.  I'm generally polite when out and about but someone getting in my face unwarranted?  Not always as polite as I should be.  I've learned to walk away.