Author Topic: Noisy Neighbors  (Read 4380 times)

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peaches

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2014, 02:37:47 PM »
Quote
does not have any CCRs,
???

CCRs.....?   What does that mean?

I think OP's referring to Covenants, Codes, Restrictions - which would be set up by an HOA (homeowners association).

It sounds like OP lives in a neighborhood without an HOA. That would make sense, as the homes were built in the 1970's. HOA's are more common today than they were back then (although, that could depend on the place; some places have had them for a long time).

CCR's can be kind of loose or very explicit. They go into detail (more so than city ordinances) about homeowners' responsibilities, what they can and can't do to and on their property, etc.


mspallaton

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2014, 02:39:34 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.

If that fails, by all means, calling the police is acceptable, but it reads awfully like you're looking for permission to jump straight to that action.  These are neighbors you've described as cordial and who alerted you to a major landscaping action they were about to take.  I work to be polite to my neighbors, but that's more than I would've done since IMHO my trees are my business.

My advice is not to build this basic, normal, simple interaction with a neighbor up into more than it is.  They cannot possibly know that a simple lawn game with a relatively small number of people and some occasional cheering is disturbing their neighbors unless they are told.  They've given you the benefit of politeness, and in the past you've given it to them.  Now is the time to do that again.

veronaz

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2014, 02:40:36 PM »
Thanks, peaches.
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zyrs

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2014, 02:41:06 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.

If that fails, by all means, calling the police is acceptable, but it reads awfully like you're looking for permission to jump straight to that action.  These are neighbors you've described as cordial and who alerted you to a major landscaping action they were about to take.  I work to be polite to my neighbors, but that's more than I would've done since IMHO my trees are my business.

My advice is not to build this basic, normal, simple interaction with a neighbor up into more than it is.  They cannot possibly know that a simple lawn game with a relatively small number of people and some occasional cheering is disturbing their neighbors unless they are told.  They've given you the benefit of politeness, and in the past you've given it to them.  Now is the time to do that again.

This

Mergatroyd

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2014, 02:50:27 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.

If that fails, by all means, calling the police is acceptable, but it reads awfully like you're looking for permission to jump straight to that action.  These are neighbors you've described as cordial and who alerted you to a major landscaping action they were about to take.  I work to be polite to my neighbors, but that's more than I would've done since IMHO my trees are my business.

My advice is not to build this basic, normal, simple interaction with a neighbor up into more than it is.  They cannot possibly know that a simple lawn game with a relatively small number of people and some occasional cheering is disturbing their neighbors unless they are told.  They've given you the benefit of politeness, and in the past you've given it to them.  Now is the time to do that again.

Pod.

Perfect Circle

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #20 on: June 04, 2014, 02:57:21 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.

If that fails, by all means, calling the police is acceptable, but it reads awfully like you're looking for permission to jump straight to that action.  These are neighbors you've described as cordial and who alerted you to a major landscaping action they were about to take.  I work to be polite to my neighbors, but that's more than I would've done since IMHO my trees are my business.

My advice is not to build this basic, normal, simple interaction with a neighbor up into more than it is.  They cannot possibly know that a simple lawn game with a relatively small number of people and some occasional cheering is disturbing their neighbors unless they are told.  They've given you the benefit of politeness, and in the past you've given it to them.  Now is the time to do that again.

Pod.

I also completely agree with this. You can't expect circumstances to possibly fix the issue - you just need to talk to these people first. You don't have to be aggressive or unpleasant. Sometimes people just genuinely don't realise how much noise they are making.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2014, 03:00:13 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.

If that fails, by all means, calling the police is acceptable, but it reads awfully like you're looking for permission to jump straight to that action.  These are neighbors you've described as cordial and who alerted you to a major landscaping action they were about to take.  I work to be polite to my neighbors, but that's more than I would've done since IMHO my trees are my business.

My advice is not to build this basic, normal, simple interaction with a neighbor up into more than it is.  They cannot possibly know that a simple lawn game with a relatively small number of people and some occasional cheering is disturbing their neighbors unless they are told.  They've given you the benefit of politeness, and in the past you've given it to them.  Now is the time to do that again.

Pod.

I also completely agree with this. You can't expect circumstances to possibly fix the issue - you just need to talk to these people first. You don't have to be aggressive or unpleasant. Sometimes people just genuinely don't realise how much noise they are making.

This is where I really come down. Especially don't go into it thinking they are wrong, and bad, etc.

Say stuff like, "It's just that it's so loud so often." Say, "it means that my dogs are stuck inside, and are agitated and uncomfortable because of the barking."

Jones

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2014, 03:01:34 PM »
Oooh, how about this?

Call the police. Arrange to be around where you can witness the cops arriving. When the cops leave, go over and ask what was up.
    When they tell you someone called in a noise complaint, say, "Wow, they called the cops? Well, I guess you guys can get pretty loud. And a party now and then is easy to overlook, but if there are lots of loud parties, people run out of patience. I've wondered if I could say something, myself.  Well, anyway, thanks for letting me know what was up. I hope you guys can enjoy the rest of the party." And stroll home.

You're kidding right?
In my neighborhood, a conversation like this would be a declaration of guilt. Because nobody approaches anybody after a police visit.

Definitely start with speaking to your neighbors OP. Maybe ask for a heads up when they plan to have a party, then go out to dinner and take pooches for a long walk?

Laurel

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2014, 03:06:56 PM »
Quote
does not have any CCRs,
???

CCRs.....?   What does that mean?

Neighborhood covenants.

Huh

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2014, 03:07:36 PM »
I always caution people before they call the police because a friend of mine had the situation escalate- her neighbor's kid was having noisy parties every weekend until 2-3 a.m., keeping them and their baby up at night, so she talked to the parent and explained all of that, not even sure if the dad was aware the situation was happening. (Like parent is away, kid invites friends over, etc.) The dad told her to mind her own business. The next time the noisy party happened, she called the police. After the police were called, friend's car was vandalized, parties got louder, and the neighbor and his kid would start pulling up right in front of friend's house and blow their car horns over and over again in the middle of the night or early morning. It only stopped when neighbors moved.

veronaz

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2014, 03:12:28 PM »
Quote
In my neighborhood, a conversation like this would be a declaration of guilt. Because nobody approaches anybody after a police visit.

Exactly.  People might peek out the window or glance as they get in/out of their car, but coming over afterwards asking questions is very bad form.  As bad or worse than standing on the sidewalk staring. 

Laurel

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2014, 03:12:58 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.


You are right that it comes off as a little crazy.  We live in a state where marijuana use has been legalized, and if an individual has a medical marijuana license, they can also grow some for "personal consumption." Their house has been broken into before, and they're selling to the neighbors across the street. While it is not a likely threat, I am somewhat concerned that at some point, another burglary may take place, and perhaps the wrong house will be targeted.  Due to the kind of traffic they have in and out of the house, people certainly know about it, plus they smoke a lot of pot pretty publicly.

Margo

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2014, 03:13:25 PM »
it sounds as though you have a good relationship with these neighbours and that both you, and they, have been considerate towards each other in the past. Given that history, I would go round one day after a party and explain that while you appreciate that they want to enjoy their garden, there is an awful lot of noise, which is very audible and disturbing, and ask them whether they could keep the noise down, particularly later in the evening and when they have parties during the week.

If no-one has mentioned anything to them, they may not be aware that the noise they make is bothering anyone. different people have very different ideas about what is a normal level of noise.

I think that if you already had problems with them being ant-social or aggressive, then calling the police rather than approaching them, direct might be appropriate, but as it is, the hostory you have with them is one of mutual consideration and courtesy.

Laurel

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #28 on: June 04, 2014, 03:15:31 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.

If that fails, by all means, calling the police is acceptable, but it reads awfully like you're looking for permission to jump straight to that action.  These are neighbors you've described as cordial and who alerted you to a major landscaping action they were about to take.  I work to be polite to my neighbors, but that's more than I would've done since IMHO my trees are my business.

My advice is not to build this basic, normal, simple interaction with a neighbor up into more than it is.  They cannot possibly know that a simple lawn game with a relatively small number of people and some occasional cheering is disturbing their neighbors unless they are told.  They've given you the benefit of politeness, and in the past you've given it to them.  Now is the time to do that again.

Pod.

I also completely agree with this. You can't expect circumstances to possibly fix the issue - you just need to talk to these people first. You don't have to be aggressive or unpleasant. Sometimes people just genuinely don't realise how much noise they are making.

You're absolutely correct.  I am very uncomfortable with confrontation, and was hoping there might be some magic words EHell would have to make it all magically get better.    Sounds like i'll have to put on my big girl panties and just deal with it!

ScubaGirl

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Re: Noisy Neighbors
« Reply #29 on: June 04, 2014, 03:21:01 PM »
OP, with all due respect, you lost me with 'we kind of hoped that they would default on the home' over some minor noise that you haven't even attempted to address with them.  What is the etiquette approved solution?  Speak to them calmly and clearly, outlining the problem and attempt to reach a compromise.


You are right that it comes off as a little crazy.  We live in a state where marijuana use has been legalized, and if an individual has a medical marijuana license, they can also grow some for "personal consumption." Their house has been broken into before, and they're selling to the neighbors across the street. While it is not a likely threat, I am somewhat concerned that at some point, another burglary may take place, and perhaps the wrong house will be targeted.  Due to the kind of traffic they have in and out of the house, people certainly know about it, plus they smoke a lot of pot pretty publicly.

There you go.  Show up with a bunch of munchies and say you hate to be a bother but they need to keep the noise down and none at all after 10pm on week days.  You are sure they aren't aware how much the sound travels.