Author Topic: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake  (Read 4471 times)

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HelenB

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In the Special Snowflake thread there was a discussion of use of laundry rooms, and if it is SS to use all machines available to be used.  A previous thread was brought up where math shows that using all of the machines that you need actually decreases everyone's laundry time on average, not just yours.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=98769.0
Particularly posts  #41, #83, &  #93

There's also the zipper merge.  When a lane closure is coming up, many people feel guilty about not getting over right away, but traffic studies show that it's safer and takes less time for everyone if the traffic is split into both lanes until a designated merge point.

http://www.dot.state.mn.us/construction/2013/zippermergefactsheet.pdf

But people still feel like a SS if they use all the machines, or if they go past a line of traffic until the merge point.

What other things have you seen that you've felt were SS, but upon analysis, were actually best for everyone?

TootsNYC

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2014, 04:24:46 PM »
I think that awkward shuffle people do in order to avoid going first can cause irritating delays. Sometimes I think people believe that assertive people who go first all the time are being special snowflakes, when in reality, they are actually making things move faster.

I do this deliberately. I believe God put us on earth to serve one another (there's a logic fail here, actually, but let's not get into that), and one of the way I do that is by going first in the buffet line. (I used to always be first in the girls' section of the 3rd grade end-of-recess line as well, bcs I was willing to be the buffer zone betw. girls & boys.)

Going first at the door, whether you're a man or a woman--if you're going to be in the way, just go first.

People who take a seat on the subway when others are standing--if you're closest, then sitting down gets you out of the standing space with the least amount of jostling. I've seen people try to give the seat in front of them to someone else, and it takes all kinds of juggling people around while the train is moving, and it's more awkward than if they just sat down.

TootsNYC

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2014, 04:32:08 PM »
Someone here at eHell once said that she wouldn't do all her bank transactions in the same visit because it was rude to make people wait for her to do all 6 of them, so she'd make 3 trips and do only 2 at once. (She felt it was rude to do a lot of things all at once at the teller window.)

Which uses much more people's time, actually, and on more occasions.

ladyknight1

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2014, 04:33:54 PM »
I sit in the first row, which people usually avoid.

TootsNYC

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2014, 04:35:28 PM »
My mom did that! Same reason as me and the buffet line--and I'd forgotten it until you said this. At church, she led us right up to the 2nd row (not the 1st, bcs we didn't have enough people). But she knew that if -someone- didn't sit far up, everyone in the church would sit in the back half. (Because it had happened.) Once she started making us sit in Row 2, then we had more people sitting farther forward.

Bexx27

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2014, 04:36:07 PM »
How about when no one is willing to take the last serving of food because they don't want to look greedy? Then you end up with a lone stale cookie (or whatever) sitting on the table until someone finally throws it away, and no one gets to eat it. Or the cookie gets halved repeatedly until it's barely a crumb.
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violinp

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2014, 05:08:37 PM »
I think that awkward shuffle people do in order to avoid going first can cause irritating delays. Sometimes I think people believe that assertive people who go first all the time are being special snowflakes, when in reality, they are actually making things move faster.

I do this deliberately. I believe God put us on earth to serve one another (there's a logic fail here, actually, but let's not get into that), and one of the way I do that is by going first in the buffet line. (I used to always be first in the girls' section of the 3rd grade end-of-recess line as well, bcs I was willing to be the buffer zone betw. girls & boys.)

Going first at the door, whether you're a man or a woman--if you're going to be in the way, just go first.

People who take a seat on the subway when others are standing--if you're closest, then sitting down gets you out of the standing space with the least amount of jostling. I've seen people try to give the seat in front of them to someone else, and it takes all kinds of juggling people around while the train is moving, and it's more awkward than if they just sat down.

I also do these thing deliberately. I think there's some social bravery involved in going first, because even though we are the ones doing it, it can still feel awkward to us. I'm willing to absorb some of that awkwardness so that the next person doesn't have to.

As someone who freezes up even ordering food from McDonald's when I'm the only person there, thank you from the bottom of my heart that there are people like you.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


nuit93

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2014, 05:11:18 PM »
How about when no one is willing to take the last serving of food because they don't want to look greedy? Then you end up with a lone stale cookie (or whatever) sitting on the table until someone finally throws it away, and no one gets to eat it. Or the cookie gets halved repeatedly until it's barely a crumb.

People do that with doughnuts where I work.  Luckily I'm always happy to take the second half of a doughnut.

Lynn2000

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2014, 05:25:52 PM »
How about when no one is willing to take the last serving of food because they don't want to look greedy? Then you end up with a lone stale cookie (or whatever) sitting on the table until someone finally throws it away, and no one gets to eat it. Or the cookie gets halved repeatedly until it's barely a crumb.

Ha ha! This drives me crazy at work, too. I always take the last thing if it's been sitting there a while and everyone else has had their chance (well, I did before I changed my eating plan). It always reminds me of the cheese commercial where someone wants the last cheese cube and his mom appears on his shoulder to chide him, then another guy swoops in and grabs it, and the mom is like, "Were you raised by wolves?!"  ;D And sometimes the person who brought the food is waiting for it all to be gone, so they can take their pan back or whatever.
~Lynn2000

kherbert05

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2014, 06:02:17 PM »
How about when no one is willing to take the last serving of food because they don't want to look greedy? Then you end up with a lone stale cookie (or whatever) sitting on the table until someone finally throws it away, and no one gets to eat it. Or the cookie gets halved repeatedly until it's barely a crumb.

I was taught you ask those present does anyone want to half the last of x. If they do they speak up and if the don't they can't gripe. It works in my family.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

TootsNYC

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2014, 06:05:17 PM »
I figure if it's been sitting there, they had their chance. It's one thing if everyone has been busy eating their current helping; you should offer to split the last helping with someone at the dinner table.

But if the plate of cookies has been out, and I want one, and there's only one left? I'm not required to put myself last. I maybe shouldn't put myself first, but I don't need to sell myself down the river.

bah12

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2014, 06:14:05 PM »
I think that this world is probably full of people that will over-analyze every little action someone else is doing and assign malicious motivation where none exists.  Whether it be that they are frustrated that a machine at the laundromat isn't available for the immediate use, or because they see someone take the last seat on the train, or whatever, some people are just naturally this way.

I live my life and try to be aware of those around me and considerate to them, but I'm also smart enough to know that some 'considerations' really are just more work and inconvenience to everyone else...even if it doesn't appear that way on the surface.  I could worry about other people might think, but as long as I'm comfortable with my actions and the motivations behind those actions, then I couldn't possibly care less what some strangers/busy bodies think of it.

Luci

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2014, 06:17:54 PM »
 I do hate to be pushy, but when 12 of us are discussing where to go for dinner, once the type of restaurant is decided, like Culver's vs Steak'n'Shake or Olive Garden vs. Texas Steakhouse, I will decide. I could let it go on for another 20 minutes, but Darn it! I'm hungry. I don't really care! Let's just go!

ladyknight1

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2014, 06:48:34 PM »
I end up deciding on restaurant choice, menus for catered functions and for locations for travel etc, because I am not scared to make the decision and be wrong. No one else will decide, and I will only wait so long.

Carotte

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2014, 09:09:59 PM »
The first in line thing: I show up early to the movie theatre, purchase my ticket, go where the lines are and there's no one queuing for my movie. Get in line and instantly, some of the people who were milling around (before I got there) get behind me  ::). They better not have thought it wasn't fair because they were there before...