Author Topic: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake  (Read 4336 times)

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lowspark

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #30 on: June 06, 2014, 10:22:41 AM »
Regarding going first in the buffet line, I actually run across this issue as a party host when I have a buffet as opposed to a sit down meal. No one wants to go first. My solution is to actually select someone to do so. Usually, people group up into separate clumps and when it's time to eat, I'll just approach one of the groups and say, food is ready, will y'all please go ahead and get the line started? That way no one seems like they are jumping to be first, after all, the host asked them to start, and everyone else can follow since someone else has already taken the lead.

Carotte

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2014, 10:29:04 AM »
I do hate to be pushy, but when 12 of us are discussing where to go for dinner, once the type of restaurant is decided, like Culver's vs Steak'n'Shake or Olive Garden vs. Texas Steakhouse, I will decide. I could let it go on for another 20 minutes, but Darn it! I'm hungry. I don't really care! Let's just go!

Ah yes. I call this resolving group indecision. Even if the group is just two of us. No one wants to step up and decide or even express a preference for fear of being seen as, well, for lack of a better word, bossy. Me? I'm known as the bossy one among my groups of friends but you know, in a good way.  ;D I always say, if you need someone to tell you what to do, come see me.

And then there's those that are only playing the polite "what do you want game" and when you say "oh, let's go to X" starts to uhh and ahhh and they would rather not but can't come up with anything else  >:( >:( . Against the cliché it was me (female) making a decision for once, and SO (male) who wouldn't decide. Way to make me want to assert myself more  ::).

Yvaine

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #32 on: June 06, 2014, 10:34:04 AM »
I do hate to be pushy, but when 12 of us are discussing where to go for dinner, once the type of restaurant is decided, like Culver's vs Steak'n'Shake or Olive Garden vs. Texas Steakhouse, I will decide. I could let it go on for another 20 minutes, but Darn it! I'm hungry. I don't really care! Let's just go!

Ah yes. I call this resolving group indecision. Even if the group is just two of us. No one wants to step up and decide or even express a preference for fear of being seen as, well, for lack of a better word, bossy. Me? I'm known as the bossy one among my groups of friends but you know, in a good way.  ;D I always say, if you need someone to tell you what to do, come see me.

And then there's those that are only playing the polite "what do you want game" and when you say "oh, let's go to X" starts to uhh and ahhh and they would rather not but can't come up with anything else  >:( >:( . Against the cliché it was me (female) making a decision for once, and SO (male) who wouldn't decide. Way to make me want to assert myself more  ::).

Oh, man. One of my exes would do this. He never knew where he wanted to go, but if I picked, he'd be silent and sulky throughout the meal and I'd finally tease out of him that he really, really didn't want Mexican food that night or whatever. I finally started asking him if there was anything he was sure he didn't want.

AfleetAlex

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #33 on: June 06, 2014, 11:05:09 AM »
This very topic is one of the things that I am learning to have a spine about, so I'm glad you brought it up! Some of my friends and family will dither about where we're going to eat or what activity we're going to do, and I used to feel so guilty just picking something and then worrying if someone would be upset.

Now I just say, "If nobody's got a preference, let's do X," and I figure they've had plenty of time to object, so if somebody is going to sulk or complain, I will remind them they didn't speak up...and I don't feel the least bit guilty anymore! (I had to learn it is not my job to make sure other people are happy, something I learned both in life and on E-Hell!)
I have a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease.

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #34 on: June 06, 2014, 01:40:27 PM »
The first in line thing: I show up early to the movie theatre, purchase my ticket, go where the lines are and there's no one queuing for my movie. Get in line and instantly, some of the people who were milling around (before I got there) get behind me  ::). They better not have thought it wasn't fair because they were there before...

I had a couple of people REALLY angry at me once at the post office.  It wasn't quite opening time yet, so I walked into the post office and there were a few people hanging out by the windows.  I walked past them towards the counter and when I got there, miraculously, they started opening!  I was 2nd in line, and BOY were those people angry with me!   I heard quite a few nasty remarks, and I turned and said, 'What line?  There Was No Line when I got here!'.  I did my business and walked past a long line of extremely disgruntled people on the way out.
Is it my fault that they didn't get in line until the very end?   Was I supposed to hang out by the windows and wait until they all mustered themselves?  I didn't see the point.  For the record, I wasn't rushing or pushing anyone out of the way.  I simply walked into the building, headed for the back, and the counters opened right about the second I got there.  It was the wildest of coincidences. 
« Last Edit: June 06, 2014, 01:45:22 PM by LadyJaneinMD »

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #35 on: June 06, 2014, 01:43:55 PM »
If I feel a need to say anything out loud, I'll usually say, "well, I'll be lead penguin and jump in first to check for predators."
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TootsNYC

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #36 on: June 06, 2014, 01:47:09 PM »
If I feel a need to say anything out loud, I'll usually say, "well, I'll be lead penguin and jump in first to check for predators."

Since I love penguins, I love this!

perpetua

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #37 on: June 06, 2014, 01:55:59 PM »
I don't do the "You first!" "No, you" "Are you sure?" "Yes, go ahead!" dance in the street any more since becoming a crutches user and I'm fine with that! It can be really hard to break a stride and start again once you've got one going, so if someone steps aside to let me through I'm gonna bowl straight on through and not do the polite dance. I do always say thank you on my way past though.

I've had to overcome a large part of my innate Britishness to accomplish this.

Jones

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #38 on: June 06, 2014, 02:18:08 PM »
If I feel a need to say anything out loud, I'll usually say, "well, I'll be lead penguin and jump in first to check for predators."

Since I love penguins, I love this!
Glad that I'm not the only one who says that. I use it with regularity.

VorFemme

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #39 on: June 06, 2014, 04:04:13 PM »
In college, I worked in a Chinese restaurant with two dishes with similar names - but very different appearance.

One was sauteed plain chicken & veggies in a white sauce surrounded by four wontons - the other was fried & battered chicken, pork, and shrimp with a red sauce surrounded by four wontons.  Both names were variations on "Wonton"...the prices were slightly different (shrimp).

At least half the time, when you brought someone their food, they got upset because the wrong food on their plate.  If you asked them if they wanted the red sauce or the white sauce or asked them to check the picture on the menu (different pages - since there were different ingredients).

They appeared to be SS because they were upset with US after we tried to confirm that they had ordered the dish they preferred - but they weren't SS to be confused by similar names & very small photos.

They were SS if they blamed us & threw hissy fits, though.  We were wait staff, not telepaths - if they would NOT answer the questions about the color of sauce that they wanted or otherwise let us double check that they had ordered what they thought they  had ordered...it was on them.

Especially the drunk who got irate & was berating the two of us serving a larger dinner party (eight or more) after ordering because he wanted the red sauce wonton dish that we were setting in front of his wife (sober & had double checked to make sure that she had ordered what she wanted) instead of the white sauced dish that was in front of him (his wife made a comment about "he is always like this" - so I gathered that he was known to be a bacon fed knave, even when sober). 
« Last Edit: June 20, 2014, 01:36:02 PM by VorFemme »
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rose red

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #40 on: June 06, 2014, 04:12:30 PM »
One time my sister and I went to a restaurant with a long line. We thought we won't get seated for 30-60 minutes, but our name was called in less than 10 minutes. The *looks* we got; like they thought we got quick service because we knew someone and took advantage. The customers seem to forget or didn't know there are small two seat tables.

kategillian

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #41 on: June 06, 2014, 04:14:53 PM »
I do hate to be pushy, but when 12 of us are discussing where to go for dinner, once the type of restaurant is decided, like Culver's vs Steak'n'Shake or Olive Garden vs. Texas Steakhouse, I will decide. I could let it go on for another 20 minutes, but Darn it! I'm hungry. I don't really care! Let's just go!

Ah, this is a variation on one if my least favorite discussions. What do you want to do? No, what do you want to do? No, what do YOU want to do? Ad nauseum.

I'm a very decisive person, and have no trouble living with my mistakes ( well, I won't pick that again!) The conversations that go on with everyone trying not to step on toes drives me crazy! We're not choosing your major in college, or where you want to live for the next 20 years, its just a galldarn movie!

Optimoose Prime

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #42 on: June 07, 2014, 02:21:37 PM »
This reminds me of the visit to my inlaws.  For some reason, she (my mil) wants everyone to stay with her so that we are all under her roof.  This visit included my inlaws of course, my husband, me, my two kids, husband's sister, husband and her two kids.  Counting up this is 6 adults and 4 kids.  Everything all the time that we did had to be discussed.  It got really old.  So, on the day we spent with even more relatives, mil announces that she is not cooking, which I suppose was supposed to start the discussion.  I said, "I don't know what you all are doing but I am going to Olive Garden."  Guess what?  Everyone else decided that it was fine with them.

Amanita

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #43 on: June 07, 2014, 04:02:48 PM »
I end up deciding on restaurant choice, menus for catered functions and for locations for travel etc, because I am not scared to make the decision and be wrong. No one else will decide, and I will only wait so long.

A friend of mine always seems to want to call the shots, and it's getting a bit frustrating, really. I need to call him out on that (Because we are thinking of going on a trip together), and to be honest, it will bug the snot out of me if we spend the whole trip with him constantly picking where we eat, or what we do and when.
I'd get rather annoyed in a group setting if there was always one person who seemed to keep calling the shots all the time, deciding where we ate, where we went, and what we did.

TootsNYC

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #44 on: June 07, 2014, 04:04:23 PM »
I end up deciding on restaurant choice, menus for catered functions and for locations for travel etc, because I am not scared to make the decision and be wrong. No one else will decide, and I will only wait so long.

A friend of mine always seems to want to call the shots, and it's getting a bit frustrating, really. I need to call him out on that (Because we are thinking of going on a trip together), and to be honest, it will bug the snot out of me if we spend the whole trip with him constantly picking where we eat, or what we do and when.
I'd get rather annoyed in a group setting if there was always one person who seemed to keep calling the shots all the time, deciding where we ate, where we went, and what we did.

I'd say you need to take a close look at the interactions and make sure you aren't (or haven't been in the past) dithering so that he's stepping in just to have a decision already.