Author Topic: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake  (Read 4477 times)

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Marisol

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #45 on: June 08, 2014, 12:00:44 AM »
I have difficulty ordering when I am the guest.  If I were buying I tend to order the more expensive things because I like them, so I feel like I have to get something other than what I really want in order not to seem greedy. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #46 on: June 08, 2014, 05:18:57 PM »
Amanita, you might want to layout things you want to do or places you want to go and be ready to say no when your travel companion declares that you will both go a certain place.

Dazi

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #47 on: June 08, 2014, 08:51:15 PM »
It is not rude or snowflakey to send back your meal at a restaurant if it's not what you ordered/as advertised, it's improperly prepared, it's cold, had something you're allergic to that is not listed in the description, etc.

I've been out with people who think I'm a total SS for sending back food. Usually it's for something allergy related, like there being shrimp topping a chicken dish that does not have shrimp listed anywhere.   Another example is a salad where the staff has just picked off the croutons... sorry, no, not going to happen, gluten is my archenemy.
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lowspark

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #48 on: June 09, 2014, 09:05:41 AM »
No, no dithering on my part. He just tends to jump in with "I want to go to (specific place)!" instead of asking me what I might want. And he has been known to get miffed if I say I don't want to do his thing, like if I say "I don't really feel like eating there", or "I don't want to see that movie".

He does sound like he's a bit demanding but in your place I wouldn't just say "I don't want to do xyz." I'd say, "I want to do abc instead." Because so often when someone says they don't want to do the suggested activity, they don't really have an alternate suggestion so you end up standing around trying to brainstorm on the spur of the moment.

If I suggest a place to go, I don't mind people saying, "I don't like that place" but they need to have a ready suggestion of a place they do like instead.

Mary Lennox

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #49 on: June 09, 2014, 03:39:34 PM »
A friend of mine always seems to want to call the shots, and it's getting a bit frustrating, really. I need to call him out on that (Because we are thinking of going on a trip together), and to be honest, it will bug the snot out of me if we spend the whole trip with him constantly picking where we eat, or what we do and when.
I'd get rather annoyed in a group setting if there was always one person who seemed to keep calling the shots all the time, deciding where we ate, where we went, and what we did.

I'd break the trip up into his days and your days. On his days, he gets to call the shots and on your days, you're in control (and maybe a free day or half day for some breathing room). And no complaining from anyone or else you forfeit your next day!

HelenB

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #50 on: June 10, 2014, 09:43:39 AM »
There's also the zipper merge.  When a lane closure is coming up, many people feel guilty about not getting over right away, but traffic studies show that it's safer and takes less time for everyone if the traffic is split into both lanes until a designated merge point.

http://www.dot.state.mn.us/construction/2013/zippermergefactsheet.pdf

But people still feel like a SS if they use all the machines, or if they go past a line of traffic until the merge point.

What other things have you seen that you've felt were SS, but upon analysis, were actually best for everyone?

I don't understand the information that you linked to.  Did MN really not set out barrels like that until 2011, or did they not put up signs until 2011?  Either way, in states that do not have signs (like MI where I live) I do think that blowing past tens of cars and forcing your way in at the merge point where the barrels are is extremely snowflakey.  In my experience, drivers don't slow down and force their way over, there is a progression of cars getting over when traffic is still spread out.  Also, people let each other in with traffic still flowing pretty freely at the new "designated merge point" which changes daily and even hourly.  When the rush hits, the merge point tends to move up to the barrels.

When both lines of cars are to the merge point, I have no issues going 1 left and 1 right along with everyone else and I think that anyone who forces their way through is being special.  During non-rush times, people blowing past everyone and forcing their way through at a point where traffic has slowed down and constricted (freeway speed limits drop from 70 to 55 or 45 depending on the signage) really do slow things down.

They've always set out the barrels, and the signs saying that the left/right lane will be closed ahead. But what happened was that most people would move out of the  lane that would be closed right away, and we'd end up with a long line of cars inching towards the merge point. 

Thing is, even without the signs, during heavy traffic using both lanes until the merge is still better for everyone. If both lanes are full of cars, no one can go zipping by. On average, everyone gets through faster.   (Local laws may vary, of course).

The signs I've seen in MN do say something along the lines of  "Use both lanes during backups".  When traffic isn't heavy, people can get over into the open lane early, and that one lane can handle all of the traffic without big slowdowns. The issue was that people were getting over miles early.

Here's a devil's advocate position:  If an authority has posted signs telling people that acting in a certain way is best for everyone, but people still follow their original way because  to do otherwise makes them feel bad, are they SS?  If they act in a way that makes them feel good, but which gives them no advantage and causes disadvantage to the group?  (Assuming that no traffic laws are involved.)

mrs_deb

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #51 on: June 10, 2014, 10:00:40 AM »
If I feel a need to say anything out loud, I'll usually say, "well, I'll be lead penguin and jump in first to check for predators."

Since I love penguins, I love this!
Glad that I'm not the only one who says that. I use it with regularity.

Thanks, Ms_Cellany - I used the "lead penguin" term this weekend when everyone was dithering about who was going to serve themselves first!  It definitely worked in what is always an awkward situation.

Thipu1

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #52 on: June 10, 2014, 10:11:41 AM »
If I feel a need to say anything out loud, I'll usually say, "well, I'll be lead penguin and jump in first to check for predators."

Since I love penguins, I love this!
Glad that I'm not the only one who says that. I use it with regularity.

Thanks, Ms_Cellany - I used the "lead penguin" term this weekend when everyone was dithering about who was going to serve themselves first!  It definitely worked in what is always an awkward situation.

Although I'm normally a rather meek individual, the 'Alphonse and Gaston' routine drives me nuts.  Someone has to go first and sometimes it will be me. 

At large family gatherings it's a given that the children will be served first.  That's a survival mechanism.  The kids eat then go to play in the sun porch which can be clearly seen from the dining room.   The table gets cleaned up and the adults get to eat and have a (somewhat) quiet
conversation over their meal. 


Seven Ate Nine

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #53 on: June 10, 2014, 09:12:09 PM »
There's also the zipper merge.  When a lane closure is coming up, many people feel guilty about not getting over right away, but traffic studies show that it's safer and takes less time for everyone if the traffic is split into both lanes until a designated merge point.

http://www.dot.state.mn.us/construction/2013/zippermergefactsheet.pdf

But people still feel like a SS if they use all the machines, or if they go past a line of traffic until the merge point.

What other things have you seen that you've felt were SS, but upon analysis, were actually best for everyone?

I don't understand the information that you linked to.  Did MN really not set out barrels like that until 2011, or did they not put up signs until 2011?  Either way, in states that do not have signs (like MI where I live) I do think that blowing past tens of cars and forcing your way in at the merge point where the barrels are is extremely snowflakey.  In my experience, drivers don't slow down and force their way over, there is a progression of cars getting over when traffic is still spread out.  Also, people let each other in with traffic still flowing pretty freely at the new "designated merge point" which changes daily and even hourly.  When the rush hits, the merge point tends to move up to the barrels.

When both lines of cars are to the merge point, I have no issues going 1 left and 1 right along with everyone else and I think that anyone who forces their way through is being special.  During non-rush times, people blowing past everyone and forcing their way through at a point where traffic has slowed down and constricted (freeway speed limits drop from 70 to 55 or 45 depending on the signage) really do slow things down.

They've always set out the barrels, and the signs saying that the left/right lane will be closed ahead. But what happened was that most people would move out of the  lane that would be closed right away, and we'd end up with a long line of cars inching towards the merge point. 

Thing is, even without the signs, during heavy traffic using both lanes until the merge is still better for everyone. If both lanes are full of cars, no one can go zipping by. On average, everyone gets through faster.   (Local laws may vary, of course).

The signs I've seen in MN do say something along the lines of  "Use both lanes during backups".  When traffic isn't heavy, people can get over into the open lane early, and that one lane can handle all of the traffic without big slowdowns. The issue was that people were getting over miles early.

Here's a devil's advocate position:  If an authority has posted signs telling people that acting in a certain way is best for everyone, but people still follow their original way because  to do otherwise makes them feel bad, are they SS?  If they act in a way that makes them feel good, but which gives them no advantage and causes disadvantage to the group?  (Assuming that no traffic laws are involved.)

I did mention that I was only talking about states that don't put up signs.  Road signs are really their own laws.  For example, sometimes there will be a sign in a construction zone that says Trucks Use Left Lanes.  This would be illegal any other time.  So if the sign says use both lanes, people should use both lanes.  OTOH, I'm not sure that I'd be sticking the snowflake label on an individual who still gets over early, as long as they otherwise follow the rules of the zipper merge.  I know that personally I prefer to set my lane early and not have to get over when traffic is heavy.  This goes double if I'm pulling a trailer (I've seen people do some crazy things when they see a trailer).

I think that groups of people will generally work in the ways that are most advantageous to them.  Like I said above, during heavy traffic I do see the zipper merge being utilized.  Realistically, traffic as a whole wants to keep moving.  While one person may have more time built into their schedule, they probably still don't want to spend it staring at the license plate in front of them (unless it's one of those indecipherable vanity plates :) ).

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Re: Things that, upon analysis, aren't really Special Snowflake
« Reply #54 on: June 10, 2014, 10:00:32 PM »
I'm a go-first sort of person too.  If I see people waffling, I just go.  I like the "lead penguin" line, I think I'll use that too!

With regards to the last of something, I'll usually ask, "Does anyone want the last cookie? (or whatever)"  If nobody speaks up, I'll eat it.  Better than letting it go to waste.  If someone does speak up, I'll either just let them having it (I could stand to skip a few cookies anyway!) offer to split, or accept an offer to split.  I just really don't like seeing food go to waste.
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