Author Topic: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)  (Read 3007 times)

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Library Dragon

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #45 on: June 06, 2014, 06:53:37 PM »
DH and I were both given this type of menu at a private supper club.  We were being treated by a couple that belonged to the club. 

The dad in the OP was way out of line. Either, let your guests order what they want, give guidance, or ask for menus with prices. He treated his family disrespectfully with the looks ad head shakes.

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Arila

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #46 on: June 06, 2014, 06:57:53 PM »
Wow! We could really test my sister's and my super power --- to honestly prefer the. most. expensive. thing. in any set of things. A blind study. :)

ladyknight1

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #47 on: June 06, 2014, 07:16:51 PM »
With the child ordering an expensive item, I think it could be solved by communication ahead of time. For example, while looking at the menu, Junior says what can I get/what price range/etc. However, I get annoyed with people who expect a teen to order off the children's menu, unless they want to.

My parents still expect my DS to do so, and he eats more than DH and I combined. They aren't paying, by the way.

Jocelyn

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #48 on: June 06, 2014, 07:31:34 PM »
I was taught as a child, that when being treated to dinner, I should inquire of my host what meal they recommended, and order accordingly. So if my host replied that the fried chicken was particularly good there, that was my permission to order anything on the menu that was priced at or below the fried chicken. Or I could ask what my host was going to order, in the assumption that a well-mannered host would not order a meal for himself if he were unwilling to treat his guest to a similar meal.
I was told that this was 'the rule' about how ladies ordered dinner on dates.  ::)
I still do this when eating out with friends, to avoid ordering a feast when they're ordering a more modest lunch.

Ceallach

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #49 on: June 07, 2014, 07:03:45 AM »
It is an absurd concept.   The only time it's appropriate to not have pricing is for an actual *hosted* meal, e.g. at a reception venue you'd expect the menus not to have pricing.   I guess in some circumstances a smaller group might like to utilize the hosting concept in which case it's a nice thing for the restaurant to be able to offer (for example, a business meeting), but I imagine arrangements could be made for that.   Many restaurants have a set menu option that could be offered. 

But having this "standard" seems rude, and if they asked me who was paying I would tell them to mind their own business.  Honestly I'd wonder if they were questioning our ability to pay the bill!   It seems like an offensive thing to enquire about upfront IMHO.

But the person paying picked the restaurant so they should know about the menus and not be offended when asked whose paying. I would have thought they would have come up with a better way to ask like " ..and is the gentleman hosting this evening?" the host menu going to the person with the reservation  or some such.  I don't think as a guest you have the right to know what a meal costs , so I don't think its rude but in any situation then one person is paying for the meal it simply wouldn't work. I think the bigger issue is when the restaurants used to automatically hand the host menu to a man in the group/party of 2...it makes some sense if they gave it to the person who made the reservation but I think asking "would you prefer your guests to receive blind menus?"      I've heard of the concept but didn't know they were still around, I had to look up what they were called to refresh my memory.

Your experiences differ to mine then, as in most cases the person paying isn't the one selecting the restaurant or making the booking.  Some examples:

-My sister organises a family dinner and my Dad picks up the cheque (not assumed, but he often does)
-I have my assistant organise a staff dinner and I pick up the cheque
-One of my friends organises a group dinner, and at the end of dinner one of us says "I'll pop it on my card!" and the rest of us hand her cash - and it's pretty much never the same friend who made the booking.

In all of those scenarios there is no pre-planning as to who will pay (except for the work dinner example, which in most cases I would have told them I'm planning to pay - not necessarily though).  So it's not really the business of the restaurant staff who is going to be paying, unless they have some reason to think we might not!     Another poster who took issue with the same point is right in that this can be clarified when booking.  Should I really have to specify "and please ensure our menus state the price of the food" when booking though?   I still think it's silly.

Like I said, great if the person hosting wants to arrange it - I can definitely see appropriate situations for that - but to ask as standard I think is strange. 
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TootsNYC

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #50 on: June 07, 2014, 09:41:37 AM »
I experienced this once. We were at a going away party for my roommate, and they gave all the women a "ladies' menu." Well, all I can say is once the "ladies" figured it out we all demanded men's menus. I remember the waiter was put out, but we were appalled at the sexism. I'm surprised they still exist in restaurants.


Of course, in our OP's story, there was no sexism. They asked, "who is paying*?" And they gave the menu w/ prices to the person who declared him/herself to be the host.
They didn't just assume that the man was the host; they asked.

I'm not surprised that they still exist, and I am pleased to hear that there was no sexism in the OP's friend's situation.




*I agree w/ shhh it's me that asking who is paying is the *wrong* question; hosting is different from paying. So maybe the question should have been, at time of reservation, "Are you entertaining guests? Will you need a host's menu?" So that the dad could say, "Oh, there's no need for that" and get menus with prices for everyone.

Or this, from shhh it's me:
Quote
I would have thought they would have come up with a better way to ask like " ..and is the gentleman hosting this evening?"

lady_disdain

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #51 on: June 07, 2014, 10:48:46 AM »
It is an absurd concept.   The only time it's appropriate to not have pricing is for an actual *hosted* meal, e.g. at a reception venue you'd expect the menus not to have pricing.   I guess in some circumstances a smaller group might like to utilize the hosting concept in which case it's a nice thing for the restaurant to be able to offer (for example, a business meeting), but I imagine arrangements could be made for that.   Many restaurants have a set menu option that could be offered. 

But having this "standard" seems rude, and if they asked me who was paying I would tell them to mind their own business.  Honestly I'd wonder if they were questioning our ability to pay the bill!   It seems like an offensive thing to enquire about upfront IMHO.

But the person paying picked the restaurant so they should know about the menus and not be offended when asked whose paying. I would have thought they would have come up with a better way to ask like " ..and is the gentleman hosting this evening?" the host menu going to the person with the reservation  or some such.  I don't think as a guest you have the right to know what a meal costs , so I don't think its rude but in any situation then one person is paying for the meal it simply wouldn't work. I think the bigger issue is when the restaurants used to automatically hand the host menu to a man in the group/party of 2...it makes some sense if they gave it to the person who made the reservation but I think asking "would you prefer your guests to receive blind menus?"      I've heard of the concept but didn't know they were still around, I had to look up what they were called to refresh my memory.

Your experiences differ to mine then, as in most cases the person paying isn't the one selecting the restaurant or making the booking.  Some examples:

-My sister organises a family dinner and my Dad picks up the cheque (not assumed, but he often does)
-I have my assistant organise a staff dinner and I pick up the cheque
-One of my friends organises a group dinner, and at the end of dinner one of us says "I'll pop it on my card!" and the rest of us hand her cash - and it's pretty much never the same friend who made the booking.

In all of those scenarios there is no pre-planning as to who will pay (except for the work dinner example, which in most cases I would have told them I'm planning to pay - not necessarily though).  So it's not really the business of the restaurant staff who is going to be paying, unless they have some reason to think we might not!     Another poster who took issue with the same point is right in that this can be clarified when booking.  Should I really have to specify "and please ensure our menus state the price of the food" when booking though?   I still think it's silly.

Like I said, great if the person hosting wants to arrange it - I can definitely see appropriate situations for that - but to ask as standard I think is strange. 

A guest menu is for more formal occasions, where there is a clear host. I would never expect it in the local family restaurant but at Chez Fancy. That is not the kind of situation where someone just speaks up "I'll pick it up". In that situation, I would expect my assistant to make the reservation "table for 8, in Lady_Disdain's name" so that it is clear that I am the hostess, not her.

Thipu1

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #52 on: June 07, 2014, 11:51:31 AM »
This was still somewhat common when I was a child in the 1950s.  The only place I've seen it since is in private clubs where the cost of the meal must be billed to the member.   

When we belonged to a private club we entertained Mr. Thipu's parents several times.  His Dad was the sort who would almost engage in body checking to grab the bill and pay.  It tickled him to be told that, in this place, his money was no good.   

judecat

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #53 on: June 07, 2014, 01:13:57 PM »
My father in law would take the family out to restaurants with host and guest menus all the time for special family events.   Usually if there was not a clear cut "host" then everyone got the menu with the prices,  but my father in law was always the host (or his brother was, or sometimes my mother in law) because they had enough money to treat everyone,  much more money than their children did.   The concept is that is someone is hosting a party,  then the guests should not concern themselves with the price.   If the host could not afford to pay for everyone in the party to have whatever they wanted,  then he would have either invited fewer guests,  or picked a different restaurant.
When someone is hosting a dinner party,  I was taught that it was rude to question how much it cost.  A dinner party in someone's home is IMO no different than a dinner party at a fancy restaurant.

Ceallach

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #54 on: June 08, 2014, 12:05:49 AM »
It is an absurd concept.   The only time it's appropriate to not have pricing is for an actual *hosted* meal, e.g. at a reception venue you'd expect the menus not to have pricing.   I guess in some circumstances a smaller group might like to utilize the hosting concept in which case it's a nice thing for the restaurant to be able to offer (for example, a business meeting), but I imagine arrangements could be made for that.   Many restaurants have a set menu option that could be offered. 

But having this "standard" seems rude, and if they asked me who was paying I would tell them to mind their own business.  Honestly I'd wonder if they were questioning our ability to pay the bill!   It seems like an offensive thing to enquire about upfront IMHO.

But the person paying picked the restaurant so they should know about the menus and not be offended when asked whose paying. I would have thought they would have come up with a better way to ask like " ..and is the gentleman hosting this evening?" the host menu going to the person with the reservation  or some such.  I don't think as a guest you have the right to know what a meal costs , so I don't think its rude but in any situation then one person is paying for the meal it simply wouldn't work. I think the bigger issue is when the restaurants used to automatically hand the host menu to a man in the group/party of 2...it makes some sense if they gave it to the person who made the reservation but I think asking "would you prefer your guests to receive blind menus?"      I've heard of the concept but didn't know they were still around, I had to look up what they were called to refresh my memory.

Your experiences differ to mine then, as in most cases the person paying isn't the one selecting the restaurant or making the booking.  Some examples:

-My sister organises a family dinner and my Dad picks up the cheque (not assumed, but he often does)
-I have my assistant organise a staff dinner and I pick up the cheque
-One of my friends organises a group dinner, and at the end of dinner one of us says "I'll pop it on my card!" and the rest of us hand her cash - and it's pretty much never the same friend who made the booking.

In all of those scenarios there is no pre-planning as to who will pay (except for the work dinner example, which in most cases I would have told them I'm planning to pay - not necessarily though).  So it's not really the business of the restaurant staff who is going to be paying, unless they have some reason to think we might not!     Another poster who took issue with the same point is right in that this can be clarified when booking.  Should I really have to specify "and please ensure our menus state the price of the food" when booking though?   I still think it's silly.

Like I said, great if the person hosting wants to arrange it - I can definitely see appropriate situations for that - but to ask as standard I think is strange. 

A guest menu is for more formal occasions, where there is a clear host. I would never expect it in the local family restaurant but at Chez Fancy. That is not the kind of situation where someone just speaks up "I'll pick it up". In that situation, I would expect my assistant to make the reservation "table for 8, in Lady_Disdain's name" so that it is clear that I am the hostess, not her.

Yes I agree, and as I've said in both my posts I do think it's a good option for restaurants to have available for formal hosted occasions.    The situation in the OP doesn't sound like that to me.     

My family often go out to very nice restaurants, but that doesn't mean there is a preconception of who will pay.  Everybody can afford to pay for themselves, but somebody might choose to pick it up.   I don't think the fanciness of the establishment bears any weight on that - unless of course somebody is inviting somebody else to join them at a restaurant that the person wouldn't usually be able to afford, in which case of course the hosting part is a bit clearer.
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purple

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Re: Prices only on one menu (never heard of this)
« Reply #55 on: June 08, 2014, 12:32:43 AM »
It's lovely to hear that the ladies' menu is still around! Because, I'm a lady and I enjoy being treated as such.  I have only ever encountered it once in my life though, I think I'm not quite old enough to have been around when it was common.

The father in the OP was way out of line.  Seriously, giving your guests a stink-eye because they ordered something that wasn't cheap enough? Horribly rude.