I'm the Queen of "off menu" ordering. I do it all. The. Time.
I just don't eat like everybody else!
I had not idea that there was a train of thought or a group of people out there who would think me rude for ordering off menu.
What I usually do is either make a tweak to a dish so that it suits my requirements or ask for something that takes an element from a few other dishes, so I know that they have the stuff to make it. So, for instance, last time we ate out at FancyPlaceThatServesSteaks (I don't eat steaks), I asked for the polenta and vegetables that would normally come with the rib-eye plus the side dish of steamed vegetables, but both on the same plate, then also a piece of garlic bread as well, which was also listed on the menu as a side. They did it for me, no problems.
I've had only one time ever in my life where the waitress refused my request of tweaking a dish, so I just said ok and left - I was by myself, so no biggie.
It's so funny that this would come up tonight as well, because just today I went out to lunch (by myself) and I decided to make an absolute point of ordering something directly from the menu and not doing one single tweak to it! And I did! And it was ok
. I'm about to go out to dinner in an hour or so and I'll try to order with no tweaks tonight as well, but we'll see. I've never been to this place before, so.....