I could use some advice about how to kindly but firmly deal with a dear friend who has seemingly morphed into a bridezilla as soon as an engagement ring was placed on her finger. As the wedding is 8 months away, I'd like to nip it in the bud now!
Background: Anna and I have been close friends since elementary school. She is usually sweet and kind, but also a lot of fun. We have traveled together, attended college together, and while of course we have had disagreements, we have always worked things out and remained close. As I live across the country from her now, she flew out to be in my wedding party and spent a week or so before the wedding helping me to get ready, and was more helpful than I could have dreamed. I think that is making it more difficult for me to talk to her about reigning in her bridezilla antics.
She started off small, by choosing a very expensive dress for her wedding party to buy; she had two of seven women try it on, and then sent instructions for everyone to purchase it. Usually in bridal parties, the bride ultimately decides on a dress for the bridal party, but asks for input about budget and style first. As this wasn't a big deal to me, I didn't say anything other than "What a lovely dress!"
After I called to order the dress, the shop told be that the color was being discontinued. I asked what they would recommend as far as planning for a "just in case" situation of pregnancy, since my husband and I are in the beginning of trying to conceive and obviously have no concrete idea of what will happen in 8 months; I have mild fertility issues, so we're in the "let's see what happens without medical intervention" stage. I was told that I could either purchase a much larger dress and have it altered (expensive) to fit if I was not pregnant, or purchase extra fabric to increase the midsection if need be. I mentioned this to Anna, just in case it would be useful information to any of the other women in the bridal party, and she said, "Oh, I already told Mary [the only other married member of the bridal party] but forgot to tell you: you aren't allowed to get pregnant until after the wedding." I laughed, assuming it was a joke; it wasn't. I ended the phone call shortly after.
She then threw herself an engagement party, for which she registered for gifts and told guests (invited via social media) about the registries. I live some 3,000 miles away from her, so I didn't attend, and I couldn't really see what good would come of me mentioning that this is rude behavior after the fact. Others who attended the party said it was quite nice, so there don't seem to be any hard feelings. The people I know who attended did bring gifts from the registry.
She has become obsessed with wedding-related topics, and every conversation we have now is about the wedding, or some related aspect. She is usually a wonderful person, and I miss talking to her about other topics, as we did until she became engaged.
I would love any advice about wording to use to talk to her about this. I worry that she will alienate her friends and family, but I don't want to give the impression that I don't care about her wedding, as I am actually quite excited and happy for her.