General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Facebook status discussions that become a back-and-forth between two people

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Yvaine:

--- Quote from: menley on June 09, 2014, 04:14:50 PM ---If it's on your own status, or the other person's own status, I wouldn't think anything of it - if others who liked or commented are sick of the notifications, it's easy enough to turn them off for that specific post.

However, if you and someone else are talking back and forth on a third person's status, I think that's rude, and the conversation should be moved elsewhere.

--- End quote ---

This. I turn off notifications all the time. And I agree, just don't threadjack a third party and you're good.

Lynn2000:
I think as long as it's a status belonging to one of the conversationalists (so, you or your friend), it's fine and no third party has the right to complain. However, you should just keep in mind the public nature of the conversation, in case you want to say something you don't want broadcast to everyone (like a more delicate personal matter, mention of a private party, etc.).

Maybe you could say to your friend in the discussion, "Hey, I'm going to PM you to continue this! :)" and then immediately send her a PM. Maybe she would notice and respond to that better?

darling:
Not rude on your own status.

However, I think it is rude when it happens on the status of a completely separate person. It bugs me to no end to have a status hijacked by other people. Take it to private messages if you really need to know if Stacy can go out to dinner, and oh, maybe we should go shopping after, especially when the person on whose post you are commenting isn't invited, and is not involved in the discussion.

There's a reason why you can send messages in Facebook, and I really wish more people would do that instead of filling up the comments on my post on, say, my niece being born, with their discussion on where to have dinner on Friday night.

I also have a friend who will comment on a post and completely hijack it with something totally unrelated nearly immediately When I respond back through a message, and she will post right back in the comments, because she wants everyone to see it. In the interest of not starting a war on my facebook page, I tend to let this slide, but it bugs me that people have no consideration for others. And if you are going to discuss going out to dinner with another person on my post, invite me!  ;D

Onyx_TKD:
I agree with PPs that it is absolutely fine if the original status belongs to one of the people having the conversation. Third parties who aren't interested can opt out by either ignoring it or finding the unfollow button. The caveat being that if the discussion is public, other people shouldn't be deliberately excluded. If a discussion naturally narrows down to two people, that's fine, but anyone reading should be welcome to chime in--otherwise take it to PM or inside a private facebook group.

If two (or more) people start having a long back-and-forth on a third party's status, then it could be rude, and the conversationalists should be very careful to make sure they're not "overstaying their welcome." I think my rules for discussions on a third party's status would be:
1) The conversationalists should be alert for any indication that they're annoying the page owner. Any such indication should prompt an immediate move to PM or one of the conversationalists' pages.
2) If it gets off the original status topic, it should be moved to PM or to one of the conversationalist's pages, unless the page owner has indicated an interest, e.g., by liking the comments or commenting "lol." If in doubt, one last post of "Let's move this discussion to ___--we're hijacking [Page Owner]'s status!" would give the page owner a chance to speak up if they're enjoying the discussion.
3) The conversationalists should take extra care to keep the discussion polite and inoffensive to the page owner.

Personally, I like it when my FB friends from different circles "meet" over something in my status and have a friendly discussion. What I wouldn't like is for people to start bickering on my page, turning it into an exclusive discussion that doesn't involve me or my other FB friends (e.g., where to meet for dinner, as mentioned by a PP), or getting into potentially offensive language/subject matter that I'm not comfortable having on my page in front of my parents/more conservative friends/etc.

Yvaine:

--- Quote from: Onyx_TKD on June 09, 2014, 05:15:43 PM ---Personally, I like it when my FB friends from different circles "meet" over something in my status and have a friendly discussion. What I wouldn't like is for people to start bickering on my page, turning it into an exclusive discussion that doesn't involve me or my other FB friends (e.g., where to meet for dinner, as mentioned by a PP), or getting into potentially offensive language/subject matter that I'm not comfortable having on my page in front of my parents/more conservative friends/etc.

--- End quote ---

And for the love of chocolate, don't get in a huge political battle on my status about cute puppies.

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