a shower for a new GRANDmother?

[wetblanket]

I swear I'm not making this up.

Our boss's daugher just had her first baby and it is also the first grandchild, a girl.

I don't think anyone in our office has ever met the boss's daughter.  I doubt we will ever see the kid itself.

Nonetheless, someone has conceived the idea of holding a shower for her.  Granted, it's not going to be as big as the usual baby shower, but we are expected to bring a gift or contribute to the collection (major social pressure).

I'm not going to be able to get out of this, but back me up here:  This is poor etiquette right?

I also think it is crappy office team-building as one key member of our team just had a birthday and nobody did anything about it (including me, but I was on birthday patrol last year so I feel I've done my bit).

[Suze]

HUH???

since when do we do grandbaby showers?

Never heard of it - hope I never hear anyone in my family doing such a thing.

Maybe the only time I can think of that this would be a "right" thing would be if something happened that the Grandma had to take custody of the infant.  Other than that -- NO

[minnaloushe]

I guess each office is different, but in ours, we don't throw baby showers for people who a) don't work here and b) aren't pregnant. Otherwise you run the risk of having to do it for everyone and everything.  

How about you suggest you all go in together and get the grandma a t-shirt that reads:
My office staff threw me a "grandmother" shower and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

That might get the point across.

[wetblanket]

Hee hee.  I keep joking that I want a "I didn't marry the wrong guy" shower, but maybe now I should add to that a "perfect track record for birth control" shower.

[Clara Bow]

My stepmother in law's bunco buddies had a grandmother shower for her, where they gave gifts for my son, she opened them and then brought them to me. We live in different towns and don't have the world's most rosy relationship, though things have improved dramatically. The funny part? This shower was for me by proxy, the gifts were given to and opened by stepmother in law who also enjoyed the center of attention spot and all the various refreshments and what not, and I was the one expected to write the thank you notes and include in them what a lovely idea the shower was and how much fun SHE had. She didn't write one single note. Crazy much?

[wetblanket]

I just read the Dear Abby thread about this very issue!   

Maybe that's where my co-workers got the idea.  I guess they didn't read Abby's response.

It's bad enough having showers for grandmothers but having them at the office?  When you don't know the family at all?

I think I'd have more respect for these people if they just called it what it is - a Kiss Up to the Boss Shower.

[Hawkwatcher]

Gee, I am a new aunt.  Where is my "aunt shower?"  I could use some new things and I never turn down money.

You are right, this is extremely poor etiquette.  If your co-workers want to do something special for the boss, they should take her out to eat on their own dime.  They should not be pressuring you to buy a gift or donate money to a collection for the boss, who probably makes more money than you do. 

In their desire to kiss up to the boss, your co-workers may have committed another social blunder.  Since I am guessing that everyone knows who is responsible for this, I suspect there may be growing resentment toward these individuals.  If they continue on the trend of ignoring the real life important events of their co-workers while hosting parties for their boss, the boss may figure out their motives and she may be unimpressed.

[Bijou]

I swear I'm not making this up.

Our boss's daugher just had her first baby and it is also the first grandchild, a girl.

I don't think anyone in our office has ever met the boss's daughter.  I doubt we will ever see the kid itself.

Nonetheless, someone has conceived the idea of holding a shower for her.  Granted, it's not going to be as big as the usual baby shower, but we are expected to bring a gift or contribute to the collection (major social pressure).

I'm not going to be able to get out of this, but back me up here:  This is poor etiquette right?

I also think it is crappy office team-building as one key member of our team just had a birthday and nobody did anything about it (including me, but I was on birthday patrol last year so I feel I've done my bit).

If I were the GM I would be embarrassed. 

[MadMadge43]

Houston we have a problem. Wetblanket, I'm really not sure how you're going to survive this one, I know you don't drink, but I'd be sipping the sherry early that day.

[ZipTheWonder]

Smebody needs to put the brakes on this -- it is horribly inappropriate on so many levels.

If New Grammy's friends want to have a little celebration with her, fine, but they should be issuing invitations outside the office.  This should not have the appearance of being a work function (and it obviously has more than the appearance -- it has become a command-performance work function.) 

Should New Grammy's be the guest of honor at a baby shower?  Absotively not.  Can't anybody buy their own stuff anymore???

[Clara Bow]

Quick question for Wetblanket: This wouldn't happen to be a shower in honor of Miss PITA would it? LOL!

[wetblanket]

Quick question for Wetblanket: This wouldn't happen to be a shower in honor of Miss PITA would it? LOL!

LOL! 

No, it isn't, but that would really be icing on the cake!

Amazingly enough, some co-workers have commented that they would like to "keep it simple".  Looks like I'm not the only one who has reservations about this.

[ShadesOfGrey]

Amazingly enough, some co-workers have commented that they would like to "keep it simple".  Looks like I'm not the only one who has reservations about this.

sounds like you might be on to something with your above statement, perhaps all it would take is one person to NOT contribute to give others the courage to stand up to the organizers...

I just dont see how celebrating any personal events are appropriate at the office - for just this reason (and I used to work in an office where lots of personal events were celebrated).  I didnt contribute to many of them (and was looked upon as a scrooge), and when I did, it was on a 1-1 personal level with the person - not with the group.  I just dont see how people can pressure others into giving to something that displays such poor manners...

[Stjarni]

This made me go "huh?".
Then again, in my country we don't have baby showers at all.

Just stay away from this. It feels so wrong.