Author Topic: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK? UD: #10  (Read 4298 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Golden Phoenix

  • Firebird
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 145
    • Matt's Menu
Hiring a friend. Did I do OK? UD: #10
« on: June 13, 2014, 02:12:33 PM »
Background:

Hubby and I have a cleaner come in once a fortnight. Today, just as she was finishing up a couple of our friends arrived, we'll call them Aiden and Abby.

Abby cleans places like schools and offices as her job with a larger company.

They can both be a little flaky at times (not turning up for visits without contacting us, etc) but we're well used to it, and they are such lovely people we ignore that quirk.

This conversation happened after Cleaner had left.

I've declined similar offers before and had it go really badly, i've also accepted them in the past and had nothing but trouble, which is one reason we decided against it.

[end bg]

While they were here Abby offhandedly offered to clean our house for half of the cost of our contracted cleaner. She really enjoys cleaning and would save us money.

Later on Abby contacted me via facebook chat asking if we would like her to clean our house for the price she offered.

This is how I replied:

Mr Phoenix and I talked about it and we've decided, for now we'd like to stick with Cleaner, for two reasons really, neither of us like "employing" friends, we've both had bad experiences, and also Cleaner is insured, i'd hate if an accident happened and either you were hurt or something was damaged. We like you too much to risk it really  Sorry hun. x

Though i may take you up on it to help me out with some reorganizing.

I'm awful and this house is too cluttered.


She seemed happy with this replying that she understood and she didn't mind helping me out on a one-off basis. (Which will be of great help to me.)

I then followed up to see if she was still coming over tonight, she said yes and that's been it.

I tried to put my e-hell training to use letting her down gently. I know i don't have to justify our decision but in this case i decided to because we are such good friends and a flat No thanks would have felt harsh.

I feel this went well, much better than my wavy, noncommittal responses to others in the past.

So, how's my spine doing? Still shining up ok?
« Last Edit: June 16, 2014, 04:44:50 AM by Golden Phoenix »

m2kbug

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1416
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2014, 02:39:37 PM »
I think that was very good.  Employing a friend can be a slippery slope and as they say, don't pee where you eat.  It's not always wise to mix business with your personal life.  I'm glad your friend understood.  I think keeping these separate is the best way to go, and of course you can employ here here and there for other needs, pass on her name to potential customers, and offer help/pay in other ways. 

Lynn2000

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5077
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2014, 02:50:52 PM »
I think you did fine. :) I think your reply would also have been fine without listing your reasons, because if she was the pushy sort, she might have tried to overcome them by arguing. Fortunately she didn't, so all is well.

I know what you mean about "no" seeming too abrupt for good friends sometimes. But, that doesn't mean you automatically have to give reasons. I think you could have said:

Mr Phoenix and I talked about it and we've decided, for now we'd like to stick with Cleaner. Though i may take you up on it to help me out with some reorganizing. I'm awful and this house is too cluttered.

I think all the other words, especially the sentiment about asking for her help with something else, soften the "no" without going into reasons that another type of person might try to refute.

But, as I said, I think your original reply was fine and it all ended well, apparently. :)
~Lynn2000

Crazy Chicken Lady

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1130
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2014, 03:10:12 PM »
You response was perfect!

floridamom

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 238
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2014, 03:16:43 PM »
I think you did great!  Great response back to Abbey :)

Ginger G

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 330
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2014, 03:31:55 PM »
I think you did fine, I know it's tough to say no to a friend in these situations. 

I actually may go through something similiar later this year.  My DH and I may be putting our house up for sale, one of his best friends is a real estate agent.  I do not want to use the friend as our agent.  For one thing, he seems to be semi-retired and isn't really that interested in the real estate business anymore.  He's nice but kind of flaky and while he's personable, he just doesn't come across as very professional to me.  DH has actually recommended him to several people in the last couple of years and every one of them has ended up changing agents because friend just wasn't making a whole lot of effort to actually sell their houses.  I know DH is going to want to give him a chance, but I just don't want to go through the frustration.  So, I will also need to polish my spine and just say no right off the bat.

tinkytinky

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 415
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2014, 05:15:34 PM »
I think you did great! There is a difference between justifying and explaining policy. You stated your personal policy in a polite manner without being too abrupt and without sugarcoating. she also did well accepting the "no" with grace.

And I bet that you have given her something to think about as well....If she didn't have insurance before, she may look into getting some. If she is trying to build clientelle, she needs every bit of advice (even if it isn't given as advice). She would probably take a different tactic on offering to clean for friends as well.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

lakey

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 339
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2014, 05:48:15 PM »
You handled this really well. I have known people who did business with friends or relatives and ruined relationships over it. If the deal doesn't go well, it is much easier to work it out with a "stranger" than with a friend. Also, I have a sister who sells homeowners' insurance, you should always hire people who are insured.

I have neighbors who are dopers living off disability. The disability isn't for drug use, it's for back problems. Whenever I have work done around my home, a tree cut down, a chimney repaired, whatever, she-doper comes by and tells me that he-doper could do the job cheaper. Yeah, right, I want he-doper working on my roof so that if he falls off he can sue me. Anyway, my go to response is that my insurance agent has told me to never hire someone who isn't a professional with insurance.

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3754
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2014, 10:00:15 PM »
I think your reply was perfect.  While perhaps you didn't strictly need to give reasons, I think its preferable to do so in circumstances like these.

The Wild One, Forever

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1757
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2014, 03:57:11 AM »
I think your reply was perfect.  While perhaps you didn't strictly need to give reasons, I think its preferable to do so in circumstances like these.

I totally agree.

Hiring friends can be really fraught.  It's something I have done in the past, but usually try to avoid.  Down south, I'd hired a friend who needed the money to clean my house once a week, and she was fantastic the first couple times she came to clean. Eventually, it devolved into her doing a half-butt job and sitting on my couch eating for an hour on end.    Then she began bringing her little kids with her, which distracted her even more.  Finally, I informed her that  I needed to cut expenses because of the impending divorce and move, which was partially the truth, but also a convenient and kind excuse.
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical

Golden Phoenix

  • Firebird
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 145
    • Matt's Menu
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2014, 04:44:12 AM »
***UPDATE***

Well, that night she never showed up. This is the flaky-ness that i mentioned.

She was supposed to be here at 7:30, at 8:30 she said she would be here "soon", at 10:30 we decided she wasn't coming.

She apologised the next day, she was tired and fell asleep, a little irritating at the time but due to our loose schedule not a big deal.

Since then she's made an offer to help us with our laundry (we don't have a washing machine and can't afford the stupid prices the launderette charges, our house is so tiny that hand-washing means i can only wash 1 outfit each for me and Hubby each time and they will take 2 days to dry, not practical and stuff has built up.)

I'm taking over my 2nd load today, they have been fantastic and so kind to us.

I seriously need to figure out how to thank them for all of this, i'm thinking a bottle of their favourite drink and maybe something from hubby since he's a pastry chef. (We also donate a token ammount for electricity used by the washing machine)

Visiting Crazy Town

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2875
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK?
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2014, 12:19:35 PM »
***UPDATE***

Well, that night she never showed up. This is the flaky-ness that i mentioned.

She was supposed to be here at 7:30, at 8:30 she said she would be here "soon", at 10:30 we decided she wasn't coming.

She apologised the next day, she was tired and fell asleep, a little irritating at the time but due to our loose schedule not a big deal.

Since then she's made an offer to help us with our laundry (we don't have a washing machine and can't afford the stupid prices the launderette charges, our house is so tiny that hand-washing means i can only wash 1 outfit each for me and Hubby each time and they will take 2 days to dry, not practical and stuff has built up.)
I'm taking over my 2nd load today, they have been fantastic and so kind to us.

I seriously need to figure out how to thank them for all of this, i'm thinking a bottle of their favourite drink and maybe something from hubby since he's a pastry chef. (We also donate a token ammount for electricity used by the washing machine)

Off topic but I'm curious, how much are launderette where you live, it seems strange to me to be able to afford a house cleaner every 2 weeks, but not be able to afford to go to the Laundromat

Golden Phoenix

  • Firebird
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 145
    • Matt's Menu
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK? UD: #10
« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2014, 05:36:08 PM »
12 per load of laundry. (But you provide your own products) The cleaner is 20 per visit.

I'd have about 3 loads of laundry per week depending on weather, spills etc.

Our friends asked for 5 a week to cover electricity and I buy my own products, although they've offered the use of some additional products. They also let us use their drying line outside, something we don't have. (No garden or yard of any kind, we step out of the door into a car park.)

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3754
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK? UD: #10
« Reply #13 on: June 16, 2014, 08:26:37 PM »
12 per load!! You could make repayments on a machine for that amount!

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30507
Re: Hiring a friend. Did I do OK? UD: #10
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2014, 08:38:41 PM »
12 per load!! You could make repayments on a machine for that amount!

But of course, you have to have room to put a machine.