My problem with tipping has nothing at all to do with the money and everything to do with the expectation. Denmark is much like the Netherlands in that we will tip for good/exceptional service, so it's not that we don't tip at all - we just only tip when it's deserved.
If I get average service, why should I tip? Yet even here, on this forum, I've had people tell me it's comparable to theft if I don't (don't worry, I do - some things just have to be done even though I don't agree with them). That's not a tip, that's a fee, and should be listed as such.
I've never noticed a difference in level of service in tipping countries vs. non-tipping countries - it seems to be much the same. The difference comes in my perception of the service, because I find myself "grading" it in the US, and just enjoying it elsewhere. So a waiter going above and beyond in the US = "Wow, he's really angling for a good tip, isn't he?" whereas a waiter going above and beyond in Denmark = "Wow! Awesome service
I know the last bit is my problem and not the actual thought-process of the waiter, but it's part of my personal reason for disliking the US tipping mentality.