Author Topic: "No offence, but..."  (Read 6288 times)

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Outdoor Girl

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #45 on: June 18, 2014, 03:23:36 PM »
I would be thrilled if someone told me I looked like Charlize Theron.  Until they told me I looked like her from that movie where she played the serial killer.  :P

I do think telling someone they look like someone else, unless that person is universally thought of as the epitome of beauty or handsomeness, is fraught with the danger of them not appreciating it, even if you meant it as a compliment.

My nephew gets told he looks like Prince Harry all the time.  He's more bemused than anything but I don't think he takes it as a particular compliment.

I still remember one woman asking if my best friend and I were twins.  No?  Then surely we must be sisters.  Lady, whatever drugs you're smoking, I want some.  (I didn't say that.)  Because we look nothing alike.  I'm fat, she's skinny; she's a redhead, I'm blonde; her hair is straight, mine's curly; she's at least an inch or two taller than me; she has an aquiline nose, mine's kind of snubbed; she's flat chested, I'm decidedly not.  Seriously, we look absolutely nothing alike.  But for some reason, this woman was convinced we were twins.  We laughed about it over a glass of wine or three later but at the time?  It was so weird.
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Ontario

Morticia

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #46 on: June 18, 2014, 03:37:53 PM »
Thanks, everyone. Interesting discussion. Since it was brought up, both of the commenters were complete strangers. If only they would just focus on my striking resemblance to Kate Beckinsale (whom I also don't resemble, but at least I wouldn't feel hurt and insecure).
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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TurtleDove

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #47 on: June 18, 2014, 03:40:33 PM »
I am curious to know who they said you resemble, and if it was the same person?  I have been told I resemble various blonde celebrities, but also that I bear a striking resemblance to Kermit the Frog. 

Aquamarine

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #48 on: June 18, 2014, 03:48:59 PM »
"Do you know who you look like?"

Yes, I look like myself, hopefully on a good hair day.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #49 on: June 18, 2014, 03:49:54 PM »
I am curious to know who they said you resemble, and if it was the same person?  I have been told I resemble various blonde celebrities, but also that I bear a striking resemblance to Kermit the Frog.
*sporfle*

Head tilt Well, if you painted your face green, shaved your head and sang 'Rainbow Connection', I can kind of see it.

 ;D
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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Morticia

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #50 on: June 18, 2014, 03:56:21 PM »
I am curious to know who they said you resemble, and if it was the same person?  I have been told I resemble various blonde celebrities, but also that I bear a striking resemblance to Kermit the Frog.

Two separate celebrities, both of whom are substantially older, with different colouring, and very different hair. So, it's not even a superficial thing. The reason why I don't name names is because they might ego surf , and just because I don't consider them attractive, doesn't mean they don't.

Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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citadelle

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #51 on: June 18, 2014, 04:02:52 PM »
A science teacher I work with bears a striking resemblance to the Muppet Beaker. He knows it, embraces it, and uses Beaker as a mascot in his classroom! It seems like a healthy attitude. Beauty is subjective and not all of us are convemtionally beautiful. Oh well.

TootsNYC

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #52 on: June 18, 2014, 04:17:33 PM »
A science teacher I work with bears a striking resemblance to the Muppet Beaker. He knows it, embraces it, and uses Beaker as a mascot in his classroom! It seems like a healthy attitude. Beauty is subjective and not all of us are convemtionally beautiful. Oh well.


Difference being--he embraces it.

Tea Drinker

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #53 on: June 18, 2014, 04:27:19 PM »
I would be thrilled if someone told me I looked like Charlize Theron.  Until they told me I looked like her from that movie where she played the serial killer.  :P

I do think telling someone they look like someone else, unless that person is universally thought of as the epitome of beauty or handsomeness, is fraught with the danger of them not appreciating it, even if you meant it as a compliment.

My nephew gets told he looks like Prince Harry all the time.  He's more bemused than anything but I don't think he takes it as a particular compliment.

I still remember one woman asking if my best friend and I were twins.  No?  Then surely we must be sisters.  Lady, whatever drugs you're smoking, I want some.  (I didn't say that.)  Because we look nothing alike.  I'm fat, she's skinny; she's a redhead, I'm blonde; her hair is straight, mine's curly; she's at least an inch or two taller than me; she has an aquiline nose, mine's kind of snubbed; she's flat chested, I'm decidedly not.  Seriously, we look absolutely nothing alike.  But for some reason, this woman was convinced we were twins.  We laughed about it over a glass of wine or three later but at the time?  It was so weird.

That is weird. Right up there with the people who knew that my best friend and I aren't blood relatives, but still accidentally called us by each other's names. People including both of our partners--her guy once addressed me by her name, and I once got home and my guy looked up and said "Hi, Tea Drinker called." Our names begin with the same letter, but she is several inches taller than me, was at the time considerably thinner, and I'm white and she's black.
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Tea Drinker

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #54 on: June 18, 2014, 04:30:55 PM »
I pay little enough attention to visual media that I would probably give an honest "No" to "Do you know who you look like?" (I just don't think very visually; if I know a musician's work I might recognize their voice, but probably not their face.)

That said, I suspect that if someone wasn't deterred by "please don't tell me," a cheerful "Thanks, so do you" to the comparison might work. Even if the person making the comparison didn't actually look much like you, or the person wasn't generally considered attractive. Because once they've compared you to that person, it would be rude for the speaker to admit that they think the other person is ugly.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

MommyPenguin

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #55 on: June 18, 2014, 04:37:10 PM »
I definitely don't think that it's polite to tell a stranger that they look like a particular celebrity.  With a friend or relative that you know well, and you have an idea how they'll take it?  Possibly okay, but *only* if the celebrity in question is one that is generally considered to be very attractive to most people (George Clooney, Halle Berry, Denzel Washington, Julia Roberts, etc.), because even if they don't happen to find that actor attractive, chances are they'll recognize that you're saying that you see them as attractive.  I could never imagine comparing somebody to Steve Buscemi or anybody who is generally considered to be unattractive and plays roles that reflect that, even if the person really was a dead ringer for him.

It's funny that this comes up, because I had a doctor's appointment the other day, and one of the receptionists at the lab looked *amazingly* like Omar Epps.  We're talking truly eerie, especially since he played a doctor on House, M.D.  I didn't say anything, though, because who knows if *he* thought he looked like Omar, and what if he thought it was just because they're both black men who he might think have only a superficial resemblance to each other.  I really think that unless you're fairly certain of it being taken in a positive way, like any compliment on the appearance, it's best held back.

doodlemor

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #56 on: June 18, 2014, 05:00:19 PM »
"How kind of you to say so," in your best dowager countess voice, and then bean dip.

bansidhe

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #57 on: June 18, 2014, 05:33:18 PM »
I went through a phase in my college years during which I got that question all.the.time. It was always the same celebrity, too. Eventually when people asked I gritted my teeth, said, "Yes, Molly freaking Ringwald," then beandipped.

It hasn't happened for a long time now, but I like the "This never ends well" response someone mentioned earlier.
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fountainof

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #58 on: June 18, 2014, 05:35:37 PM »
Personally, if I thought the actor/famous person unattractive I might say "so you're calling me ugly?" If it were an attractive one, I might joke about getting the day off the set just to throw the person off guard a bit.

I was told at by a couple of OBGYNs I have had over the years that I look exactly like a nurse at the Women's hospital.  Then I went to have a baby and nurses there mentioned it too.  I wanted to meet this woman as I was told this a few times over the years but she was not on shift when I had my daughter.  However, I guess if I met her and I found her unattractive that might have bothered me but it would have been so weird if it was like looking a twin.

metallicafan

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Re: "No offence, but..."
« Reply #59 on: June 18, 2014, 05:42:44 PM »
I went through a phase in my college years during which I got that question all.the.time. It was always the same celebrity, too. Eventually when people asked I gritted my teeth, said, "Yes, Molly freaking Ringwald," then beandipped.

It hasn't happened for a long time now, but I like the "This never ends well" response someone mentioned earlier.



I too, was told that I looked like Molly Ringwald,  and I had long brown hair. 
I was also told that I look like singer Mariah Carey,  who is a different ethnicity than I am.