Author Topic: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?  (Read 6711 times)

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NyaChan

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #30 on: June 21, 2014, 01:48:01 PM »
I feel like people who get stuck on this are often trying to get validation of their choice. They want you to acknowledge the lower price, the same look, etc because that equates the fake with the real for them. They are buying to get the status of the real deal at the price of the fake. If you buy the proper item, it shows their choice up as obviously not the real thing.

TootsNYC

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #31 on: June 21, 2014, 02:15:25 PM »
I agree w/ NyaChan. She wants you to validate her.

And "I'm happy with my purchase" doesn't criticize her (so it doesn't push the "more, bigger, stronger, more emphatic!" button), but it doesn't validate her. It separates her from you.

You can even say that, maybe, "We're different people. I don't need to be just like you."

Sophia

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #32 on: June 22, 2014, 04:06:22 PM »
I would ask her how she would feel if someone stole her hot purse? 

Way way way back when color TV's were a huge, new thing my evil grandmother got a "great deal" on a color TV.  In the discussion it was pretty obvious that she knew it was stolen.  A little bit of time later their house was robbed and someone stole the TV.  She was outraged.  Dad said, "Maybe the owners of the TV took it back."

Nice response from your father!  I'm curious, do you know if she was at all chastened to realize the comparison, or did she just brush it off and continue being upset?

My father and his MIL had a hate-hate relationship.  So much so that when they were dating she told the police that dad had kidnapped mom.  They setup roadblocks.  They boycotted my parent's wedding.  The only reason the mutual cut stopped was when mom and dad told them I was on the way.  I am their only grandchild.  She had a tendency to not tune into what dad said.  But, she never talked about buying stolen goods to my parents again.  I also have a distinct memory of innocently outing her shoplifting when I was a small kid.  She never took me shopping again.  Since she stole, I doubt she stopped buying hot goods.  But, really, when you are a sociopath, you can't put yourself in the position of the other person.  But, Dad did enjoy calling her on it.

bopper

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #33 on: June 24, 2014, 09:45:41 AM »
"I prefer not to buy knockoffs."

artk2002

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #34 on: June 24, 2014, 11:09:17 AM »
I agree w/ NyaChan. She wants you to validate her.

And "I'm happy with my purchase" doesn't criticize her (so it doesn't push the "more, bigger, stronger, more emphatic!" button), but it doesn't validate her. It separates her from you.

I disagree that it doesn't criticize her. If she's like a lot of people I've met, who are looking for validation, any lack of enthusiastic validation is taken as a criticism. How many times have we seen scenarios here that boiled down to this:

Person1: I like purple peonies
Person2: Really? I prefer the pink peonies myself
Person1: What? Are you saying that I'm a bad person? You're mean and I hate you!!!!!!

There are people who take differing tastes as a personal affront.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

MrTango

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #35 on: June 25, 2014, 08:27:23 AM »
I agree w/ NyaChan. She wants you to validate her.

And "I'm happy with my purchase" doesn't criticize her (so it doesn't push the "more, bigger, stronger, more emphatic!" button), but it doesn't validate her. It separates her from you.

I disagree that it doesn't criticize her. If she's like a lot of people I've met, who are looking for validation, any lack of enthusiastic validation is taken as a criticism. How many times have we seen scenarios here that boiled down to this:

Person1: I like purple peonies
Person2: Really? I prefer the pink peonies myself
Person1: What? Are you saying that I'm a bad person? You're mean and I hate you!!!!!!

There are people who take differing tastes as a personal affront.

The bolded doesn't cause the lack of validation to become criticism.  If someone decides to take a lack of validation as criticism, that's their problem, not mine.

iridaceae

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #36 on: June 25, 2014, 08:50:56 AM »
Frankly at this point with her I'd be blunt and tell her "I prefer not to support Al Qaeda and the Hezbollah". (Both get money by participating in the counterfeit goods racket.)

Mammavan3

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #37 on: June 25, 2014, 03:14:13 PM »
Several years ago an employee of one of DH's friends announced that he could get them a great deal on a TV. He implied that he knew an employee of a store that was trying to get rid of an older model before the new ones arrived. DH mentioned it to me because we were in the market for a new one. But as we talked about it, several things didn't add up and the price was just too low. We suspected they might be stolen, so we passed.  Quite a few people who worked with DH and his friend took the offer.

A few days later, DH came home and told me that the employee had absconded with all of the money he had been given to buy the TVs.

To rephrase a popular saying, if they'll steal FOR you, they'll steal FROM you. 

It's just never a good idea to deal with dishonest people and the OP could mention that she feels uncomfortable doing so.

artk2002

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #38 on: June 25, 2014, 03:21:15 PM »
The bolded doesn't cause the lack of validation to become criticism.  If someone decides to take a lack of validation as criticism, that's their problem, not mine.

Criticism is in the eye of the receiver. While I agree that someone who interprets lack of validation as criticism is being somewhat unreasonable, it doesn't negate the fact that, to them, it is criticism. It shouldn't stop the OP from doing what's right; I was simply pointing out that Toot's interpretation was somewhat rose-colored.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

BeagleMommy

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #39 on: June 25, 2014, 03:49:25 PM »
"The money I'd save at The Market is not worth getting arrested the next time they get raided".

Bad, BeagleMommy!

How about:

CW:  How much did you pay?
OP:  Oh, I don't know.  When I see a bag I like the credit card comes out and I lose all rational thought.

Visiting Crazy Town

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #40 on: June 25, 2014, 04:36:43 PM »
Frankly at this point with her I'd be blunt and tell her "I prefer not to support Al Qaeda and the Hezbollah". (Both get money by participating in the counterfeit goods racket.)

Yes and I'm sure telling her that  she is supporting terrorist with zero proof won't cause a single argument

iridaceae

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #41 on: June 26, 2014, 04:14:04 AM »
Frankly at this point with her I'd be blunt and tell her "I prefer not to support Al Qaeda and the Hezbollah". (Both get money by participating in the counterfeit goods racket.)

Yes and I'm sure telling her that  she is supporting terrorist with zero proof won't cause a single argument

http://www.fraudaid.com/scamspeak/conprods.htm
http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/CHRG-109shrg21823/html/CHRG-109shrg21823.htm
http://govinfo.library.unt.edu/911/staff_statements/911_TerrFin_Ch2.pdf

If she can tell which goods are "merely" made in a sweatshop, she can rest easier, I guess.

peaches

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #42 on: June 26, 2014, 06:31:54 AM »
I'm not a fan of knock-offs. On the other hand, I'm not the counterfeit police. There are real police who do that.

I would say something that's true, but hopefully a conversation-ender, such as "I buy from places where I can make returns." Or "That doesn't work for me."

Visiting Crazy Town

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Re: I prefer not to buy stolen goods?
« Reply #43 on: June 26, 2014, 10:17:07 AM »
Frankly at this point with her I'd be blunt and tell her "I prefer not to support Al Qaeda and the Hezbollah". (Both get money by participating in the counterfeit goods racket.)

Yes and I'm sure telling her that  she is supporting terrorist with zero proof won't cause a single argument

http://www.fraudaid.com/scamspeak/conprods.htm
http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/CHRG-109shrg21823/html/CHRG-109shrg21823.htm
http://govinfo.library.unt.edu/911/staff_statements/911_TerrFin_Ch2.pdf

If she can tell which goods are "merely" made in a sweatshop, she can rest easier, I guess.

My point is that you  have no idea where these goods come from and neither does she, so for her to say something like that  to her coworker is a complete overreaction and overkill.  It will also not help office interaction with this person at all and would also probably lead others in the office to think negatively of the OP as well