General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Continue ignoring or try the olive branch?

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mlmama:
I work with a woman who has taken a sudden intense dislike to me. As in, friendly one day, Cut Direct the next. It doesn't affect my job in any way other than making it awkward every once in a while. I honestly do not know what I did to make her angry. At first, I just acted as she didn't exist for me, either. I have since found out that she has gotten "that way" towards every other woman in the office at one time or another. I have been told she is also to trying to incite others to be angry at me by telling them I must not like them, either because I didn't greet them when I came in to work one day. (I know, office gossip. I take that with a grain of salt.) Lately, she's been acting sweeter towards everyone else, and at least acknowledging my presence in a room by glancing at me. I'm bringing it to E-hell to ask, is it more polite to continue assuming a Cut Direct attitude so things aren't awkward, or should I try to extend the olive branch by saying something small like "Hello." when I come in and see what happens? I'm fine with the ignoring thing. As I said, it does not affect my work in any way, I just like to try to get along with everyone that I can.

Deetee:
I think the right thing to do is a gentle hello. This has to be done gently, so it's the sort of hello that no-one will notice is not returned. If possible it should be "hidden" in greeting to normal people: "Hello normal person., Hello crazy person, hello normal person" or part of a "Hello All". Basically don't look for an answer.

This acts to show other people that you aren't giving her the silent treatment without it being a BIG DEAL that she doesn't respond.

GSNW:
Honestly, I would continually be coolly polite and professional.  She seems to thrive off of drama and if she thinks you are trying to "make amends," she thinks she has the power to drive your behavior and/or actions. 

I think it's nice to want to get along with everyone, but especially at work, don't buy into these sorts of nonsense games.  It seems like others have her number, too.

JenJay:

--- Quote from: GSNW on June 20, 2014, 07:20:41 PM ---Honestly, I would continually be coolly polite and professional.  She seems to thrive off of drama and if she thinks you are trying to "make amends," she thinks she has the power to drive your behavior and/or actions. 

I think it's nice to want to get along with everyone, but especially at work, don't buy into these sorts of nonsense games.  It seems like others have her number, too.

--- End quote ---

I agree. You have to interact with her somewhat, and certainly be polite when you do, but don't go out of your way to interact with her when you don't have to. I'd take the attitude of "You've made it clear you don't want to be friendly and that works for me.", but professionally.

Aquamarine:
Be sweet and polite when you have to interact with her.  It will make you look rational and adult and as a bonus it will annoy the H out of her.  To further annoy her always be extremely calm, patient and rational when she talks to you.  It will be irritating to her if she can't get a rise out of you so she can claim you were meeeeen or hurt her feelings.  It won't take much of this to make her look crazy to others should she complain about you.

Do not apologize do not do anything other than being calm. polite and rational, doing this makes you look competent and professional.  All this other person is doing is demonstrating to everyone in the office that she is not capable of performing the simple basic job requirement of interacting professionally with her coworkers.  I have an idea that a lot of people know exactly what she's doing and will enjoy getting popcorn and watching you interact with her as they watch her become annoyed by your Zen approach.

If you are hearing secondhand about some of her antics it doesn't hurt to throw out a "Oh bless her heart" with a sympathetic tone.

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