General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Continue ignoring or try the olive branch?

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--- Quote from: GSNW on June 20, 2014, 06:20:41 PM ---Honestly, I would continually be coolly polite and professional.  She seems to thrive off of drama and if she thinks you are trying to "make amends," she thinks she has the power to drive your behavior and/or actions. 

I think it's nice to want to get along with everyone, but especially at work, don't buy into these sorts of nonsense games.  It seems like others have her number, too.

--- End quote ---

I actually get professionally friendly. As Aquamarine so wisely says...

--- Quote from: Aquamarine on June 20, 2014, 07:28:39 PM ---Be sweet and polite when you have to interact with her.  It will make you look rational and adult and as a bonus it will annoy the H out of her.  To further annoy her always be extremely calm, patient and rational when she talks to you.  It will be irritating to her if she can't get a rise out of you so she can claim you were meeeeen or hurt her feelings.  It won't take much of this to make her look crazy to others should she complain about you.

Do not apologize do not do anything other than being calm. polite and rational, doing this makes you look competent and professional.  All this other person is doing is demonstrating to everyone in the office that she is not capable of performing the simple basic job requirement of interacting professionally with her coworkers.  I have an idea that a lot of people know exactly what she's doing and will enjoy getting popcorn and watching you interact with her as they watch her become annoyed by your Zen approach.

If you are hearing secondhand about some of her antics it doesn't hurt to throw out a "Oh bless her heart" with a sympathetic tone.

--- End quote ---

And sometimes the person ends up being won over. Or, they have room to get over it.

I would continue to say "Hello".  I work with someone like this - I was convinced I had done something wrong and told some people she seems to hate me - they said oh no she hates everyone except for a select few.  One day she had an actual unsolicited friendly conversation with me and I almost fell over in shock.  Then she discovered I was friendly with one of her friends and suddenly she couldn't have been nicer (and she's actually hysterical when she wants to be).  I'm still not sure what's going on with her as I did nothing to change my behavior - maybe she's mellowing as I have noticed her saying hello to people she didn't used to.  All you can do is be cordial and not stoop to her level.

Some people are just oversensitive about things, I think. I remember one co-worker had a crush on the guy in the office across the hall for the longest time. Then one day she came in and told me he was a total jerk. The reason? She passed him in the hall and said hi, and he didn't acknowledge her. It couldn't possibly have been that he was lost in thought about some important issue or not feeling well or anything like that, it had to be that he was actually a jerk. From then on, the best assessment she would give of him was that he was inconsistent, and would run hot and cold with people. ::)

In this case, the oversensitive person might be this co-worker, who got miffed when you missed saying hi to her one day or something. I would just try to act normal around her, polite and professional, as PP suggest, and see if she works things out in her own mind eventually.

I'm sticking with the polite thing, I promise. I have to admit to a bit of schadenfreude when I go into the women's restroom and there are no paper towels. We are the only two women that work at night, and I have the key to the supply closet. She would rather go with wet hands than ask me for the key or tell me we are out. It's an odd thing, I just kind of giggle to myself and take care of it.

I’ve never been a fan on the “others say she’s like that with everyone” logic.  Others “say” a lot of things, and how did it (the subject of her coolness towards you) even come up?  Sounds very junior high schoolish.  Suggest you stop talking about her and not comment when others do.

You seem to be saying 1) you don’t know why she’s treating you this way 2) you don’t care 3) it doesn’t affect your work.  So, what’s the problem?

When there is tension between people in a workplace, it does impact others.  Sometimes it can be resolved, sometimes not.

Maybe you can ask her (privately) “Have I offended you?”  If she blows you off, you’ve done all you can around it and conduct yourself in a professional manner.


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