Author Topic: How LadyStormwing Grew a Spine  (Read 2873 times)

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cicero

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Re: How LadyStormwing Grew a Spine
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2014, 08:49:13 AM »
Wow.  I'm so glad you escaped. There are so many who know in their souls that something is just not right, but they just can't break off their wedding plans because they feel embarrassed, don't want to disappoint their families and maybe even kind of feel like they failed.  But you didn't fail.  You won!! 

Kudos to you for seeing the issues and actually doing something about it!  No doubt you made the right decision.  It sounds like that would have been a nightmare of a life.   

I know it's hard and you no doubt have a plethora of conflicting emotions, but in the long run you know you made the right decision.  You'll be so much happier being yourself and not letting other people make life's major decisions for you.

(Above bolding mine)
That was me in approaching my previous marriage, and I wish I'd ended it before the wedding instead of seven years into it. I'm not sure why I thought things would get better once we were married, but I did.

If I had married that man, I would be lonely and miserable.

And that was me, too. Not only was he gone a lot but when he was home he was emotionally distant. I came to understand that "you don't have to be alone to be lonely."

LadyStormwing, kudos to you for growing your spine and doing this when you did. ((((hugs)))

too true. when i was going through extreme difficulties in my second marriage, my then husband was resisting divorce (while resisting counseling and/or changing the issues that were leading *to* divorce, but i digress) because he didn't want to get divorced "again". I looked at him and said "we could be married for 100 years but still not *be married* for one day. you aren't *in* this marriage".

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artk2002

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Re: How LadyStormwing Grew a Spine
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2014, 04:45:25 PM »
Late to this thread, but "Brava!" to you and all of the posters here who realized that a life time commitment to someone who doesn't respect you is like volunteering for hell. Breaking off an engagement is very painful, but much less than a divorce. And that's far less painful than a life time of pain and disrespect. "Embarrassment" fades quickly; self-doubt and resentment don't.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain