Etiquette School is in session! > "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

Dude. I'm not actually your friend.

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Team HoundMom:
So there I was looking at Facebook one day when I got friend request from some guy.  I didn't recognize him and we don't have any friends in common, so I declined it.  Then he messaged me and said he saw me on the FB page for our city and would like to ask me some questions about running.  (I guess I posted something on that page about going for a run with my dog or whatever.)  Harmless enough I thought, so I accepted the request.  He said he wanted to start running again but didn't want to go alone and kept asking if he could run with me.  Now, keep in mind that it is very obvious that I am happily married.  My husband is not the jealous type at all and knows that I have many guy-friends, but I am certainly not comfortable with hanging out with some random stranger guy.  I deflected this guy by telling him about the various meet-up groups at the Running Room, and all seemed fine.  I told my husband about this guy asking if he could run with me and my husband of course said the not-polite version of "No way".  Obviously not because of potential hanky-panky issues (the thought of either of us steppin' out is preposterous), but for safety reasons. He can find another dude to run with.  I mean, if I'd said "My buddy who I've known for many years asked if he could run with me" that wouldn't be an issue - in fact I did the Warrior Dash with a guy-friend that I've known for years and my husband was happy that I had the company for it. 

So anyway, this new FB guy would comment or "like" my statuses and pictures, mostly the running related ones, and it didn't bother me.  Until the other day when he messaged me and asked if I'd gone for a run that night and called me a stupid nickname derivative of my real name (eye roll.)  I just said yes, my dog and I did 4K in the rain.  So then he asked me to work out with him at the gym (offered me a free pass) and says "May I call you and talk?" 

Oh HECK no.  Noooo.  No.  I wrote, quote: "Dude, seriously, I am extremely happily married. I'm sure you're a cool guy but I'm just not comfortable hanging out with guys I don't already know. I'm okay being FB friends but nothing beyond online.  Just doesn't seem cool.  I'm sure your wife/girlfriend would feel the same way."  (I'm pretty sure he's single, I just said that.)

So then the poor guy was all "You thought I was into you? I just wanted to talk about running and stuff."  Sounds like he was just trying to make new friends or whatever, but really, why would you try to befriend a married woman that you don't even know?

I kept him on my friends list because I'm not worried about my safety or anything, and hopefully I've shot him down enough that he'll focus his attention elsewhere.

Has anybody else here had that happen?  How did you handle it?

I don't know why you ever accepted his friend request. Can't you email back and forth on Facebook without being friends?

The minute someone I didn't know at all requested to meet up in real life, I'd delete him from my friend list and probably even block him.

OK, maybe not the minute--but the third time.

Have I ever accidentally not told a guy who set off my creep-dar to back off immediately? Yes.

Have I had to deal with the consequences of not shutting down a creep-dar guy? Yes.

What did I do? I cut off all contact, immediately (or grew to regret it). You don't have any obligation to keep a stranger (or even a person you know) on your FB list!

well, blocking someone from FB is NOT just about them making you feel unsafe, it's about them being a baconfedknave whom you don't want to have access to easy communication with you or to your pictures/social life and life in general.

I respond by blocking.

I have *one* person who I haven't blocked--and that person it would cause family ripples (i'm good friends w/ a sibling), and he is the one 'friend' who is under super-lockdown and unable to see anything on my feed, my pictures, etc.

Team HoundMom:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on July 10, 2014, 01:53:13 PM ---OK, maybe not the minute--but the third time.

--- End quote ---

Yeah. If he asks to meet up one more time there will be a blocking.  I think I made myself clear though.


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