Author Topic: Themed Personal Shower  (Read 2788 times)

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menley

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2014, 07:19:07 AM »
Thanks for all the replies! I love the yeast infection cream/lady cleansing products idea as well as giving her coupons.

I did get her an engagement present sadly. I wasn't really sure if I was supposed to or not. I spent about $25 on a serving platter. Her real bridal shower gift is going to be homemade. I usually make a wreath with the new last name initial on it and then perhaps a sign that says "The Smith's Est. 2014". Most people appreciate these kinda of gifts more than a cookie sheet anyways.

The bridal shower is in 2 week and once I see how that goes, I will make my decision if I am going to go to this themed shower. They are serving dinner at the shower so at least that is a plus right?

Just as a side note, if you do make the sign, it should be The Smiths (no apostrophe). :) And yes, those are great gifts - I have one from my sister that is proudly hung front and center in our home.

lmyrs

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2014, 03:40:24 PM »
That sounds like a nice gift, but you should make sure she's changing her name. If I got something like that, it would probably go to my in-laws, since it's not my last name.

Kaytrose

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #17 on: July 31, 2014, 04:47:40 PM »
Hi all OP here. I went to the bridal shower this past Sunday, oh man. I received a formal invite for this shower with a rsvp card/envelope involved so I knew this was going to be a pretty formal affair. My DF was invited as it was a couples shower, he didn't go as he had to work, but even if not he wouldn't have gone just because we find this trend of couples showers annoying.

The shower was at the venue where they are having the wedding, so think traditional banquet hall. The couple were standing at the door greeting everyone as they walked in. That was nice. Inside everything was set up as if it was a wedding. There was a head table with the bride and groom seated up top in between 8 of the bridesmaids. The remaining bridesmaids were on the lower tier of tables right below them, standard head table style for a wedding. There were round table with place setting, loads of cups, silverware, favors scattered about the tables. We sat down and around noon they started serving food. There were many many course. 7-8 I believe. After the 3rd course we were full at our table. It took about 3 hours to get all the food out. The service was quite slow I felt.

In between course, the MOG, who basically threw the party got up and talked with the mic and thanked everyone and their mother for coming and then handed out gifts to pretty much the entire immediate family, the bridal party, etc. It was clear that the MOG was the one is charge of making this a huge affair and it appeared that this was the norm for their large Italian family. To each their own I guess.

After we were done eating, the bridesmaid unwrapped each present and place the opened card on top of the coordinating present and pushed them down a long table so the bride/groom could read the card and say who it was from and announce what the gift was. This part made me quite upset as I had taken time to nicely wrap her gift. I gave her a few things from her registry as well as a homemade wreath. It was quickly passed down the line, with the brides response to it being, " oh, this is something you hang on your front door right?"  Gifts were over in about 30 mins and then we were allowed to leave.

I left the party angry. I am not used to this sort of affair, but it appeared to not bother anyone else. I guess I am just traditional in that the party is females only and the bride opens her own gifts and tries not to break a ribbon. Also, the last thing that bothered me was that underneath the favor was a thank you card. Mass printed with a generic thank you on it.... My DF's mother suggested I do this for our wedding as well..... I told her absolutely not..

Well anyways, after that party, I thought that I would not go to either of her remaining parties. This was until I received the wedding invite the next day. Something about it made me so happy. It was a very classy invite and  just made me excited about the wedding. I decided then that I would suck it up and go to her personal shower and her bach. party. I know its not her ideas for all these parties but rather the MOG. I will get her a very small/cheap gift for the personal shower and I think I will pass on the present for the bach party. I dont need to be buying my Df's cousin lingere hehe.

Thank you all for your responses. Its nice to hear I am not alone in thinking all these parties are crazy. I now know what not to do for my own wedding :)




lakey

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2014, 12:27:50 PM »
My sister had married an Italian American and his relatives had a very large, extravagant shower that was in a rented hall.  They also tended to have a lot of food. This may be a tradition among some Italians. In my family the showers were held in someone's home with more moderate amounts of food.
I don't have a problem with an extravagant shower, but I would have a problem with being invited to multiple showers where gifts were expected. I had a friend for whom I was invited to 3 showers. I RSVP'd "no" to the last one.

lakey

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2014, 12:28:43 PM »
My sister had married an Italian American and his relatives had a very large, extravagant shower that was in a rented hall.  They also tended to have a lot of food. This may be a tradition among some Italians. In my family the showers were held in someone's home with more moderate amounts of food.
I don't have a problem with an extravagant shower, but I would have a problem with being invited to multiple showers where gifts were expected. I had a friend for whom I was invited to 3 showers. I RSVP'd "no" to the last one.

lowspark

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2014, 04:37:00 PM »
This is going to sound kind of catty maybe but...
If she is not opening her own gifts and not sending out thank you notes either, is there any chance at all that she will remember if anyone in particular gave her a gift, much less what they gave?

I've heard of this where someone else opens the gift but I've never seen it. It would totally bug me to see that done.

Anyway, I wouldn't go to much trouble or expense at all for any other gift (in other words, I'd probably give nothing else). I just don't believe in giving gifts to people who have proven they don't appreciate it. Why bother?

Lynn2000

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #21 on: August 01, 2014, 09:00:10 PM »
So there are more than 8 bridesmaids? How many are there? Nothing wrong with that, I'm just curious.

Obviously this family likes to do things in a big way--I've heard this is true of some cultures, such as Italian-Americans. I mean, what you describe is way more massive than anything I've ever experienced, but I don't think that in and of itself is rude. Too much food for the guests is far better than not enough!

Couples' showers are pretty common in my social circle and have been for several years (and we are by no means progressive). If they're not to your taste, that's fine, but I can't think of a reason why they would actually be rude, unless they're seen as a gift grab by inviting more people. (Not that you said it was rude at any point.)

The mass generic thank you card, if indeed that's the only thank you card givers will see, is rude. I also don't like the "gift opening assembly line." I know some people find it deadly dull to watch someone open gifts, especially a lot of gifts, but I think there are ways to streamline the process while still showing your appreciation for each gift. If it was 3 hours to get all the food out, the bride could have also been opening gifts during that time, even if people were generally socializing and eating. They could have set up a system where one of those 8+ bridesmaids informed the giver their gift was coming up in line, so they could watch the bride open it, and the bride could call them out by name and thank them. Then if they didn't care to watch any other gifts be opened, they could go back to eating and chatting.

I do know what you mean about a nice invitation changing your mood, though. I was 100% set against going to my cousin's holiday wedding, then I got the save the date and it was so cute and fun and made the whole thing real instead of just theoretical, and I started to rethink my decision. I'm still not going, but I was surprised how much I softened up about it.
~Lynn2000

cattlekid

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2014, 10:16:00 AM »
We had the big rented hall shower as well.  IIRC, there were about 150 guests at our shower.  The invitee list was all females invited to the wedding, plus DH, my father, FIL, my grandfather and the other male members of the wedding party.

Like PP's have stated, we greeted our guests as they entered.   We had lunch and then we opened gifts.  We had to do the assembly line as well.  Each gift was opened by a bridesmaid, then I got the gift, we verbally stated what the gift was, held it up if possible and verbally thanked the giver. 

We did write personalized thank you notes (nothing pre-printed) for every shower gift we received.  The favor at the shower was a personalized mini bottle of wine.

I was a little sad about missing the ability to open my own gifts.  It was also shocking to my family to see such a large bridal shower, but this was standard practice in DH's family and since we brushed off the standard engagement party, we felt that it was important to at least hold on to this part of the tradition.

peaches

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2014, 11:50:11 AM »
I once went to a huge shower for a coworker and friend. I think every woman invited to the wedding was invited to the shower. The bride-to-be had been going to showers like this for years, and the family she married into had the same customs.

It was a beautiful shower, held in an aunt's home. Gifts were opened, but there was plenty of time to circulate and chat and eat (a huge spread).   

The wedding was lovely and meaningful (a mass), and the reception was great fun.

The bride and groom were thoughtful, approachable and appreciative throughout. 

In my family and in DH's, we have smaller showers and weddings - that doesn't make them better, just different. You can "go large" and still be gracious.

Kaytrose

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #24 on: August 05, 2014, 11:14:23 AM »
So there are more than 8 bridesmaids? How many are there? Nothing wrong with that, I'm just curious.

Obviously this family likes to do things in a big way--I've heard this is true of some cultures, such as Italian-Americans. I mean, what you describe is way more massive than anything I've ever experienced, but I don't think that in and of itself is rude. Too much food for the guests is far better than not enough!

Couples' showers are pretty common in my social circle and have been for several years (and we are by no means progressive). If they're not to your taste, that's fine, but I can't think of a reason why they would actually be rude, unless they're seen as a gift grab by inviting more people. (Not that you said it was rude at any point.)

The mass generic thank you card, if indeed that's the only thank you card givers will see, is rude. I also don't like the "gift opening assembly line." I know some people find it deadly dull to watch someone open gifts, especially a lot of gifts, but I think there are ways to streamline the process while still showing your appreciation for each gift. If it was 3 hours to get all the food out, the bride could have also been opening gifts during that time, even if people were generally socializing and eating. They could have set up a system where one of those 8+ bridesmaids informed the giver their gift was coming up in line, so they could watch the bride open it, and the bride could call them out by name and thank them. Then if they didn't care to watch any other gifts be opened, they could go back to eating and chatting.

I do know what you mean about a nice invitation changing your mood, though. I was 100% set against going to my cousin's holiday wedding, then I got the save the date and it was so cute and fun and made the whole thing real instead of just theoretical, and I started to rethink my decision. I'm still not going, but I was surprised how much I softened up about it.

There are 12 bridesmaids. I believe the mass  thank you cards is all we are going to get. They did the same thing at their engagement party. Their thank you note that day was actually their save the date/thank you note combined.

I did learn something interesting this weekend. For the Personal Themed shower, I got bathroom as a theme, while other got laundry room, cleaning supplies, etc. The bride's sister in law ( her brother's wife) received the theme "gift cards" and was told which gift cards they wanted... If that was my theme, I would for sure be way more upset and not go to the shower. I have come to terms with the bathroom theme especially after seeing that one.

Littlepearls

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Re: Themed Personal Shower
« Reply #25 on: August 05, 2014, 10:05:58 PM »
Hmm, a toilet brush from the dollar store might work well :o