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  • November 23, 2017, 09:15:46 AM

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Author Topic: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding  (Read 38626 times)

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alkira6

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2014, 01:27:07 PM »
Quite frankly I would have been tempted to smack her with my cane if she had said that to me (I am overweight and have to deal with enough crap as it is).

But, temptation aside, just stop talking to her.  If she has a thimbles worth of common sense then she will know why. Definitely do not give this girl a present.

TurtleDove

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2014, 01:40:52 PM »
Do not waste even one more second of your life on this person. Her behavior is laughable - she is ridiculous and anyone worth your time sees that. Anyone who doesn't, you don't need. Oh - and hugs.

lakey

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2014, 04:35:57 PM »
This woman is not your friend. She is shallow beyond belief. I've never heard of anyone inviting people to their wedding based on their looks. I would not go to the shower. I would not give her a gift. I would look for friends who accept you for who you are.
I hope this woman doesn't have kids. How will she handle it if they don't fit her view of what they should look like?


lakey

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2014, 04:37:47 PM »
By the way, I have a sister who would make mean comments about people who were overweight. Guess what happened to her when she hit middle age?

sammycat

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2014, 06:53:46 PM »
 :o :o

Where's the jaw dropping emoticon when you need one?!

This is not your friend. She's a vile excuse for a human being. This would earn her the cut direct from me. And if anyone asked me why I wasn't at the wedding or shower I'd have absolutely no hesitation in telling them exactly why.

My SIL is obese. She's also one of the loveliest people I know. I can't even imagine for one second not inviting her to something because of her size.

Marga

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2014, 07:15:57 PM »
I just have no words. The weight is a red herring: it might be any excuse (not reason, excuse).
This is a mean girl, she needed a reason to exclude you and exclude you she did.
Friend? Really not, not now, not ever. Don't go to the shower and if anybody asks, tell them why. Your other friends need to know what she's capable off.
Do not blame yourself, do not blame your weight, blame the "friend", it's all on her!

Lynn2000

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2014, 07:29:59 PM »
Wow, that is harsh. I'm not even sure I'd be insulted by it, I'd be too busy wondering on what planet it's acceptable to say that. It sounds like a clip you'd see on a reality show--maybe those people are her idols?
~Lynn2000

JenJay

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2014, 07:38:54 PM »
My jaw literally dropped open. There are no words. I hope that was the last conversation you have with her.

SamiHami

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #23 on: July 13, 2014, 07:54:19 PM »
Of course I am as shocked and appalled as all of the previous posters. I would add, though, that I wouldn't consider it gossip to inform your mutual friends of what she has done. Rather, I think you would be doing them a kindness. While her excuse to be cruel to you is your weight, they need to know what kind of person she is. Who knows when she'll turn on any one of them for being too tall, not stylish enough, too smart/too dumb...it's a matter of character. They may want to reevaluate their own relationships with her as well.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Jones

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #24 on: July 13, 2014, 07:57:55 PM »
I wonder who will be invited to her wedding. Will Gramma be left out as she's too old? Is race or hairstyle a factor?

I've heard of child free weddings but fat free is approaching the realm of ridiculousness.
A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems. CS Lewis

gramma dishes

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2014, 08:41:01 PM »
You know, I've heard of people saying that certain friends were too heavy to be bridesmaids. That's bad enough.

But to say to a friend, "You're too heavy to even show your face at my wedding! I can't bear the thought that people would think I have friends like that. Oh, but you're quite welcome to give me presents to celebrate the wedding I won't let you come to," is beyond the beyond. ...



I totally agree with Twik.  This is beyond appalling!

I would not go to the shower. 
I most certainly would not give any gift of any kind. 
I would look for new more grown-up friends. 
If asked, I would let people know why. 

greencat

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #26 on: July 14, 2014, 01:28:20 AM »
That's just...no.  POD to previous posters that this woman is not a friend.

aussie_chick

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #27 on: July 14, 2014, 04:48:06 AM »
To me this is cut direct behaviour
Shine up that spine Op and when this horrible person wants to reach out to you after the wedding, and might even make some half a.sed apology for what she said "because I was so stressed out about the wedding" and hopes to carry on as things were before, you need to be ready to remember how this felt.

I also don't see anything wrong with telling the truth if you are asked why you didn't attend.

You be fabulous and faultless - so make sure you RSVP to the shower, and then cut.

Great big hugs for you - from one bigger girl to another. Do people such as this think we are not aware of our bodies and therefore need to be reminded? I just can't believe it.

Bethalize

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #28 on: July 14, 2014, 05:19:29 AM »
To me this is cut direct behaviour


Me too. What heinous behaviour! I would never cut off anyone for saying I was fat (because I am fat) but to exclude me on the grounds of my body size? That is no more acceptable than excluding me on grounds of my skin colour or sexuality.

OP, seriously, it's not you, it's them.

Margo

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #29 on: July 14, 2014, 05:28:51 AM »
Wow - what a nasty thing to say, and to do. I agree with PPs that in your position I would most definitely *not* attend the shower, I would not be sending her a gift and would be distancing myself from the 'friendship' as she has shown that she is not a friend.

If she hd been a good friend to you otherwise I would consider speaking to her privately about how hurtful and inappropriate her comments were, but it sounds as though you are upset but not entirely surprised, which suggests to me that it may not be worth investing any further time or energy in this friendship.

I see no reason at all why you should not tell your other, mutual friends what happened if any of the m ask you about whether you will be at the wedding or shower.