Author Topic: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding  (Read 14391 times)

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BeagleMommy

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #60 on: July 18, 2014, 12:51:27 PM »
Wow!  My flabber is officially gasted.

Don't waste any more time or thought on this rapacious female dog.  Don't send a gift.  Cut her out of your life in every possible way.

I'm also curious how the other friends in the group feel about this (if they know).

Frog24

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #61 on: July 18, 2014, 01:26:37 PM »
Or, if you want to give a gift, get her a charming paring knife.    >:D

Isn't it the tradition that you should never give sharp objects as gifts as it's said to sever the friendship?


Venus193

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #62 on: July 19, 2014, 04:05:35 AM »
I recommend an etiquette book.  Except she probably wouldn't get the motivation.

bloo

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #63 on: July 19, 2014, 09:44:59 AM »
This is beyond the pale and I'm sorry that you are on the receiving end of this. I, too, would move on from this person.

However, I'm curious. Noting the bolded:

Thanks for all the kind words! :) I am overweight but work very hard to wear appropriate clothing and carry myself in a good way. I was shocked because I considered her a good friend and she had never said anything to me in a hurtful way before. However thinking about it-I wouldn't put it past her. It sucks it has to end this way though.

In the moment the conversation occurred (or shortly after) I think a reasonable response would've been along the lines of 'What did you just say?', 'What did you mean by that?', and/or 'Do you honestly not realize how incredibly hurtful that is?'. Not everyone's brains work so well when stunned, though. 

You mentioned her behavior was shocking, but upon reflection, you wouldn't put it past her. So, in retrospect, you noticed previously that she was not a terribly kind person, at least to other people at some point.

After a sufficient period of time nursing hurt (and I would be hurt) please look to the positive that she helped you not waste any more time and energy fostering a friendship with her. She has set you free to put your energies and feelings into more useful directions and persons.

shhh its me

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #64 on: July 20, 2014, 02:20:13 PM »
This is beyond the pale and I'm sorry that you are on the receiving end of this. I, too, would move on from this person.

However, I'm curious. Noting the bolded:

Thanks for all the kind words! :) I am overweight but work very hard to wear appropriate clothing and carry myself in a good way. I was shocked because I considered her a good friend and she had never said anything to me in a hurtful way before. However thinking about it-I wouldn't put it past her. It sucks it has to end this way though.

In the moment the conversation occurred (or shortly after) I think a reasonable response would've been along the lines of 'What did you just say?', 'What did you mean by that?', and/or 'Do you honestly not realize how incredibly hurtful that is?'. Not everyone's brains work so well when stunned, though. 

You mentioned her behavior was shocking, but upon reflection, you wouldn't put it past her. So, in retrospect, you noticed previously that she was not a terribly kind person, at least to other people at some point.

After a sufficient period of time nursing hurt (and I would be hurt) please look to the positive that she helped you not waste any more time and energy fostering a friendship with her. She has set you free to put your energies and feelings into more useful directions and persons.

I was curious about the bolded too.  Did that mean friend has been hurtful to other people , is very concerned with appearance/weight, is judgmental , shallow or has been hurtful but to OP but not in an obvious way ect. 

cow8thecabbage

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #65 on: July 23, 2014, 03:42:18 PM »
If asked in the future if you will be attending the bridal shower, simply reply "X informed me that I was too overweight to attend her wedding. Therefore, I decided that I was too awesome to attend her bridal shower."

And you know what, you are! Not many parties can handle the level of awesomeness us big gals bring to the table!!

 ;)

gramma dishes

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #66 on: July 23, 2014, 03:45:48 PM »
...    "X informed me that I was too overweight to attend her wedding. Therefore, I decided that I was too awesome to attend her bridal shower." ...

I love this!   ;D

Lady Snowdon

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #67 on: July 27, 2014, 02:41:47 PM »
I read the OP to my DH.  He asked me to read the first few words again.  After I did so, his response was "Nope, that's not a friend".  :)

OP, I'd say cut her off, and there's nothing wrong with telling people why you weren't at the wedding or bridal shower if asked.  No reason to go around airing the issue if it's not relevant, but I don't see anything wrong with telling a few of your mutual friends just how badly you've been treated. 

Raintree

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #68 on: August 20, 2014, 01:34:10 PM »
A "friend" sent me an invitation to her bridal shower but not to her wedding. She told me when I saw her that I was "too overweight" to attend. We are in a group of four friends that regularly hang out and socialize with and without our significant others. The other girls in my group were all invited-but are also all size 0.
My boyfriend told me not to go to the bridal shower as it was a way to get more gifts. Why would someone say that?!

What, is she holding her wedding on some kind of elevator with a maximum weight limit? I don't get it. I'd be too insulted to ever speak to her again. And no, definitely don't go to the shower. What gall!!

MissRose

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #69 on: September 09, 2014, 11:25:49 AM »
I have no words for that "friend" of yours.  I only wished I had cut out of my life a person much sooner than I did that LOVED to harp on me whenever I was having issues with my weight and body image, I have no regrets now about cutting her out.

Frog24

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #70 on: September 09, 2014, 12:57:54 PM »
OP -- any chance of an update?  Did anyone ask you why you weren't at the shower?  Did the bride recognize her bride-zilla coming out and apologize?  I'd love to hear what happened.

JenJay

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #71 on: September 09, 2014, 01:06:26 PM »
OP -- any chance of an update?  Did anyone ask you why you weren't at the shower?  Did the bride recognize her bride-zilla coming out and apologize?  I'd love to hear what happened.

I just looked at OP's profile, because I was going to PM her and ask about the outcome, and unfortunately she hasn't been back to the site since the day she posted this.  :(

Polly

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #72 on: September 10, 2014, 06:24:46 PM »
I'd love an update too. Pity OP hasn't been back. I do hope all is ok.

Xandraea

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #73 on: September 10, 2014, 07:07:20 PM »
...    "X informed me that I was too overweight to attend her wedding. Therefore, I decided that I was too awesome to attend her bridal shower." ...

I love this!   ;D

Me too! Of course, if I found out someone I called a friend had said something like this to someone, I'd also be sending my regrets and dropping the person.

CL32

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Re: Too "overweight" to attend a wedding
« Reply #74 on: September 11, 2014, 10:52:46 AM »
Wow! I am so sorry this happened. She is definitely not a friend. Not at all. 0%. She gets an F in friendship. Fail.

Being the snarktastic smarty-pants that I am, I would be tempted to send a cleverly worded dig in my shower RSVP. Perhaps send your regrets with the explanation that "because I have been deemed too overweight to attend your wedding, I am apparently also too overweight to attend your shower or go shopping for a gift." And please, for the love of all that is good in this world, do not reward her behavior with a shower gift.  :-\

Ugh!  >:(