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Author Topic: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo  (Read 10993 times)

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kareng57

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2015, 09:33:19 PM »
I agree that business events are different.

In what way?

At our wedding, the bartender had a tip jar out. The problem is that I didn't notice until late into the event because my drink had been fetched by someone else. It never occurred to me to preemptively ask the venue not to have a tip jar out.


Powers  &8^]


Yes, this is something that the hosts ought to do, proactively.  And then they (or someone designated) should inspect the bar anyway, in order to ensure that a rogue bartender is not trying to collect tips anyway.

I agree with some PPs - this is more of a guide for novice wedding guests, rather than an etiquette guide for the B&G.

TaterTot

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #16 on: February 01, 2015, 11:15:22 PM »
I'm guessing they've moved on from the wedding stuff, because I just keep seeing ads for stuff/celebrities?

gellchom

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #17 on: February 02, 2015, 09:06:58 AM »
Try this:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a7201/nobody-tells-you-wedding-guest/

LtPowers, I can think of several ways in which business "social" events differ from truly social ones.  For example, you wouldn't send a thank you note to the "hosts" of a business function or necessarily even thank them as you leave (they may not even be there, if, say, the party is "hosted" by the corporate office in some other state).  Spouses need not be invited to even "social" business events.  "Guests" certainly don't feel the same freedom to attend or not -- i.e., an invitation may indeed be a de facto "summons" -- and there is no requirement of reciprocity.  Cash bars, which are generally an etiquette no-no (subject to the exception for community custom), are a different matter at an office Christmas party -- and, accordingly, tipping is, too. 

If you're talking about a dinner party at your boss's house, that's closer to a purely social event.  In which case you wouldn't tip the helper if they have one.

The event appears to be a social event, but, as Miss Manners points out, although it can be lots of fun and the activity is socializing, it is really a business event, not a social one.  (So kid yourself about how much to drink, how freely to talk, what to wear, etc. at your own risk!  That's why office Christmas parties are such fertile joke fodder.)

LtPowers

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2015, 12:53:54 PM »
I'm with you, gellchom, until the part about cash bars being okay at a business function. That one makes no sense to me.


Powers  &8^]

gellchom

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2015, 01:05:02 PM »
I'm with you, gellchom, until the part about cash bars being okay at a business function. That one makes no sense to me.


Powers  &8^]

I wouldn't think it is optimal even in a business event.  I'm just saying that the etiquette rules for social events don't apply.   (Another important difference I forgot above is  polite treatment of ladies -- very different!)  Because it's not truly a social event. 

Consider an employer that always provides lunch for its employees in an on-site canteen.  The employees' tipping the servers is different from guests at a wedding doing so. 

LtPowers

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2015, 10:24:21 AM »
Consider an employer that always provides lunch for its employees in an on-site canteen.  The employees' tipping the servers is different from guests at a wedding doing so.

It wouldn't occur to me to tip if lunch is being provided (and presumably paid for). Consider pizza delivered to a meeting; it's the meeting organizer's job to add a tip to the bill and get reimbursed from the company.


Powers  &8^]

gellchom

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2015, 10:57:24 AM »
Consider an employer that always provides lunch for its employees in an on-site canteen.  The employees' tipping the servers is different from guests at a wedding doing so.

It wouldn't occur to me to tip if lunch is being provided (and presumably paid for). Consider pizza delivered to a meeting; it's the meeting organizer's job to add a tip to the bill and get reimbursed from the company.


Powers  &8^]

Oh, I agree with that.  That's not what I was describing.  I said, "an employer that always provides lunch for its employees in an on-site canteen."  There are companies that do that, either because they are too far from restaurants or they find it increases productivity or just as a perk.  An employee might still tip the waiter in such a restaurant-like setting, even though the meal is paid for. 

LtPowers

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #22 on: February 04, 2015, 09:02:26 AM »
Oh, I agree with that.  That's not what I was describing.  I said, "an employer that always provides lunch for its employees in an on-site canteen."  There are companies that do that, either because they are too far from restaurants or they find it increases productivity or just as a perk.  An employee might still tip the waiter in such a restaurant-like setting, even though the meal is paid for.

I know what you said; I guess I don't understand what you mean. What you are describing is unfamiliar to me. Can you be more specific about what it is?


Powers  &8^]

gellchom

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Re: Miss Jeanne Really Needs to Talk to Cosmo
« Reply #23 on: February 04, 2015, 11:11:26 AM »
Not without thread-jacking, I can't!   :)   

Anyway, it was just an example; it isn't important or to the point.  Forget it. 

Sorry for the tangent, everyone.