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Author Topic: Wow! That's Expensive!!  (Read 15994 times)

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aussie_chick

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2014, 05:39:58 AM »
Agree with others who said no explaining required. This is not their business.
And seriously, who does Jon think he is complaining to your boyfriend? Rubbing Jane's face in what exactly?

I would try one of these responses:
"how curious that you'd notice what I spend my money on" bean dip
"yes it is that price" bean dip
"Why are you pointing it out?"
or just a perplexed look straight at them, followed by "ok moving on..."

And I'd see if your BF could get on the same page so that you both end up sounding like broken records. Hopefully they get it and if not, you have the option to avoid!

JolieFille

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2014, 06:46:26 AM »
You say Jane is your very good friend.  Was she this price tag conscious about your purchases before Jon entered the picture?

You aren't flaunting price tags or refusing to ride in their car, insisting upon taking your own Rolls Royce instead.  So I would just ignore these inappropriate comments on your purchases and change the subject.

Actually now that you mention it, she always was sort of. She's a doll collector and I'm not so much. I gave her all my old dolls a few months ago and I got a lesson in how much I could have gotten for each of them on eBay (over 100$)  ::) That was kind of annoying.

crella

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2014, 06:59:10 AM »
I have a family member who does this and I really don't like it. Finally when asked how much our house cost, I said 'I'm sorry, I really don't like discussing our finances'.  It stopped the remarks on things like our house or cars, but a new watch, appliance or something invariably triggers remarks like 'I'm so jealous!' 'You're so lucky!' DH's business is doing well, but we don't spend money like it's water at all and our lifestyle is not overboard so these remarks are aggravating. What makes it more so is that this person thinks nothing of spending $1-2,000 at a whack if some new computer or other gizmo comes out, which of course is their prerogative,but geez, don't try to make me feel like a wasteful spendthrift if I buy a Kitchen Aide. These kinds of remarks always throw me off balance  ::)


miranova

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2014, 07:24:24 AM »
Wait, a $7 cocktail is expensive?  Where do they get drinks cheaper than that?

Margo

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2014, 07:38:41 AM »
Crella, I couldn't agree more about people making comments about "you're so lucky" I could forgive it from someone who has had bad luck (for instance, unable to work, or really struggling financially) but so often it seems to be a comment from someone who has chosen to spend their money in a different way.

One of my business partners does that - if you mention anything enjoyable you've done he will make comments about "Oh you're so lucky you can afford to do x"  I did respond once to say, "yeah, and you're so lucky you can afford to go ski-ing"  His response was "oh I saved for that"   ???


TurtleDove

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2014, 07:42:08 AM »
Wait, a $7 cocktail is expensive?  Where do they get drinks cheaper than that?

That's what I was thinking! At any rate, I would just do as a PP suggested. "Isn't the skirt gorgeous?" "Yep - this cocktail is delicious!" All said unapologetically and cheerfully. No need to justify or explain. No need to say something clever.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2014, 07:42:18 AM »
I hate people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

My response would be: "I think it's good value" and leave it at that. Value is not the same as price, so you're covered. Don't be drawn.

This is a very irritating habit. It's a bit like the diet police when whatever you eat they would be able to improve it nutritionally. It's not about the issue, is about their sense of superiority.

I have a friend like this, and it drives me up a wall. You are so correct when you say some people focus on price, vs. value. I admit I am a kitchen snob. I like good pots, pans, knives, and tools. That being said, while I have "good stuff" a lot of it was purchased at outlets or discount stores, and I don't think I paid full retail for any of it, except my really nice chef's knife.

Her idea of cheap is if it costs more than $2-5, its expensive. A World Market just opened near us, and she was perusing their website. her comment "it's expensive" yes, some things are, but I went the other day, and found a bunch of stuff, for not that much.

I don't really care if someone chooses to spend frugally, but please don't comment on my splurges and expenditures. While I admit I might not always make the wisest choices, they are mine to make!

lowspark

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2014, 07:47:27 AM »
I don't like the "I'm splurging" or "I've budgeted for this" type answer. I see it as JADEing.

Whether the item is in my normal budget, something I've saved up for months for, or something I'm going to go into debt for, it's still no one else's business but my own. I'd probably go with questioning her back.

My first thought was to say, "Is it?" or "You think so?" or other variations on that. Every time. Even if she persists in the same conversation. It is non-committal and puts it back on her. Then if she says, "Yes! It is! I do think so!" or whatever, I'd probably just smile and say "Hm."

CaffeineKatie's approach, "why are you pointing that out?"  might also work.

Oh, and yeah, $7 for a margarita is on the low end around here. I have paid less (at a great TexMex we go to that has fabulous prices!) but I've certainly paid more, lots of times.

And yeah, if I had a friend who was constantly doing this, I'd be rethinking how much time I wanted to spend with her and what kinds of activities would be appropriate. Picnic in the park or DVD at home with popcorn maybe, instead of shopping or dinner out.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2014, 07:50:38 AM »
I hate this.

Evil LK would say, "Did I ask you to pay for it?" with an arched eyebrow.  >:D

In my circles, it is common for us to ask each other about what we did for an occasion or on the weekend, etc. I mentioned to a colleague that DH and I took a river paddle boat lunch cruise for our 20th anniversary as a couple. She asked how much it was per person, since it is something she and her DH might enjoy, and I told her. $46 per person, including a full meal and live entertainment. Her response was "that's expensive!".

I'd rather pay $100 for a meal that is a special one, including a scenic 3 hour cruise, than go to the local burger joint five times. It's the same amount in the end.

I might say something about it bothering you that your friend is so interested in the cost of things, and just bean dip after that.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

MariaE

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2014, 07:51:39 AM »
I don't like the "I'm splurging" or "I've budgeted for this" type answer. I see it as JADEing.
Exactly.

Quote
Oh, and yeah, $7 for a margarita is on the low end around here. I have paid less (at a great TexMex we go to that has fabulous prices!) but I've certainly paid more, lots of times.
Yeah, same here. I'd expect to pay at least twice that for a good margarita.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

LadyClaire

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #25 on: July 23, 2014, 07:52:18 AM »
I have a friend/co-worker like this. She comments on the price of everything. We went to Sephora one day and I bought some mineral foundation, because everything else makes me break out or get a rash. The foundation was $28, but that $28 beats paying the drugstore price for foundation and then also having to buy concealer to hide the resulting breakouts and medicated creams to take care of the rashes.

You'd have thought that I plunked down thousands of dollars, the way my friend reacted to me buying that foundation. She makes comments like that all the time about things I buy. It's getting to the point where I hate going anywhere with her, or if I see something I like I don't buy it, but go back later without her so that I can get it. Thing is, she buys her lunch every day. She smokes and she goes out every weekend to a movie or to some other event. I bring my lunch to work every day. I don't smoke and I never go out because all of my hobbies are home-based and my husband and I work very different schedules, so we hardly ever go to the movies or out to dinner. She's spending less on makeup, sure, but she's also spending more than I do on other things. I don't judge her for the way she spends her money, but it's annoying when she's commenting on my purchases when I probably spend far less than she does overall.

miranova

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #26 on: July 23, 2014, 07:56:27 AM »
Crella, I couldn't agree more about people making comments about "you're so lucky" ...... so often it seems to be a comment from someone who has chosen to spend their money in a different way.


Ding ding ding!!  I'm no more or less lucky than the next person, we have all had our share of both struggles and blessings.  What we choose to do with our resources is not luck.

Bethalize

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #27 on: July 23, 2014, 07:59:17 AM »
"The more I work, the luckier I get"

or in this case:

"The more I save, the luckier I get".

poundcake

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2014, 08:01:19 AM »
Quote
CaffeineKatie's approach, "why are you pointing that out?"  might also work.

I really like this one. It's no one else's business how you spend your money, and adding judgement calls about it is extra rude. It doesn't matter if you agree with what someone else blows a pile of money on, or skimps on, because if it's not your money, butt out. So the "lather, rinse, repeat" use of "Why?" + *quizzical look* might be a way of dealing. "Why are you pointing that out?" "Why are you so concerned about my budget?" "Why does this matter to you?" "No, really, I don't understand why you are so invested in my finances?" "Why would you ask such personal questions?"

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2014, 08:12:12 AM »
Evil LK would say, "Did I ask you to pay for it?" with an arched eyebrow.  >:D

I wouldn't pull this out at the first comment but after reapeated ones?  I don't really see a problem with it.

Reminds me of a friend of mine who would comment on his girlfriend's (also my friend) clothes.  He would wear the rattiest stuff around but then have the nerve to comment that he didn't like her pants, or whatever, and she shouldn't be wearing them in public.   I finally snapped one day when he made the comment about fleecy lounge pants that weren't tight or worn or anything.  'Good job you don't have to wear them, then!'  And then I pointed out the rips in the pants he was wearing.

He probably still makes comments to his now wife but he never makes them in my presence.
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