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Author Topic: Wow! That's Expensive!!  (Read 16010 times)

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m2kbug

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #30 on: July 23, 2014, 08:16:01 AM »
I think I would respond with, "Yes, it is."  "It was really good, too," or maybe, "$45 is actually a pretty inexpensive for this brand/quality."  "For a margarita? That's actually cheap."  "You get what you pay for."

siamesecat2965

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #31 on: July 23, 2014, 08:49:39 AM »
Crella, I couldn't agree more about people making comments about "you're so lucky" ...... so often it seems to be a comment from someone who has chosen to spend their money in a different way.


Ding ding ding!!  I'm no more or less lucky than the next person, we have all had our share of both struggles and blessings.  What we choose to do with our resources is not luck.

I had to really remember to keep it shut on Father's Day. I went to my BFF's parent's house, for that, and to celebrate her DB's 50th birthday. Now my friend is a wonderful person, but a. has made horrible choices, both in life, and financially and b. is envious of anything she can't or isn't able to do.

I'm going on a cruise at the end of the summer. One which I budgeted and saved for for a while. I don't go on fancy vacations every year, as often as I can, but my last "big" trip was about 5 years ago.  I was careful not to mention it in her presence, even in passing, as she would immediately pull the "must be nice, and you're so lucky" card. No, I just chose to focus my energy on saving for this particular thing, and did so.

SamiHami

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #32 on: July 23, 2014, 08:51:06 AM »
Wait, a $7 cocktail is expensive?  Where do they get drinks cheaper than that?

Depends on where you live. In my part of the country, an average cocktail is around $4.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

NyaChan

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #33 on: July 23, 2014, 08:57:55 AM »
Wait, a $7 cocktail is expensive?  Where do they get drinks cheaper than that?

Depends on where you live. In my part of the country, an average cocktail is around $4.

And the individual location as well - Within a 5 minute drive of each other in my city:  dive bar rail drink, $4-5; swanky lounge mixologist cocktail, $10-15.

SamiHami

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #34 on: July 23, 2014, 09:03:14 AM »
Crella, I couldn't agree more about people making comments about "you're so lucky" ...... so often it seems to be a comment from someone who has chosen to spend their money in a different way.


Ding ding ding!!  I'm no more or less lucky than the next person, we have all had our share of both struggles and blessings.  What we choose to do with our resources is not luck.

I had to really remember to keep it shut on Father's Day. I went to my BFF's parent's house, for that, and to celebrate her DB's 50th birthday. Now my friend is a wonderful person, but a. has made horrible choices, both in life, and financially and b. is envious of anything she can't or isn't able to do.

I'm going on a cruise at the end of the summer. One which I budgeted and saved for for a while. I don't go on fancy vacations every year, as often as I can, but my last "big" trip was about 5 years ago.  I was careful not to mention it in her presence, even in passing, as she would immediately pull the "must be nice, and you're so lucky" card. No, I just chose to focus my energy on saving for this particular thing, and did so.

Oh, I had one of those in my life for a while. She chose to have a ridiculously expensive sports car (payment was the same as my monthly mortgage payment!), smoke cigarettes, buy every version of every movie she loved (blue ray, HD, ones with deleted scenes, ones with extra commentary, etc), jewelry off EBay, etc, etc, etc. Yet when I got a new cell phone she literally whined "when do I get to have nice things?"

I just had no answer for that. ::)

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Coralreef

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #35 on: July 23, 2014, 09:12:53 AM »
I had a high school friend who always commented on the price of everything, including penny candy.  Her family was the same, so I knew where she got it from.

It annoyed me to the point that I had to ask : "Why does MY purchase, with MY money, bothers you so much?"  That pretty much killed the remarks. 



"It's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." - Office coffee cup.

Aquamarine

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #36 on: July 23, 2014, 09:16:08 AM »
I probably would just not go shopping with her again.  People that do this suck the fun out of buying and having nice things. This though process about money is deeply ingrained in them, I don't think subtle comments will get these people to change.  I get these comments when I buy things from Chanel.  I wouldn't buy these things if it was a problem for me, I'm not going into debt for them.  The comments still come: "Why buy something so expensive", "I could never afford that", "It must be nice", "Its a waste of money".  Well I like it, want it, can afford it and it's no ones business what I spend my money on.  The people who makes these comments I only see when I must because they're a drag.  I have even gotten comment that I should donate the money to a children's charity instead.  No, just no.

Some people sail, some race cars or horses, some collect stamps or have a motorcycle.  For some reason those are OK but for an average person to buy a few accessory items from Chanel every year is made into some big deal.  It's aggravating at the very least.

Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

Aquamarine

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #37 on: July 23, 2014, 09:21:16 AM »
I have a family member who does this and I really don't like it. Finally when asked how much our house cost, I said 'I'm sorry, I really don't like discussing our finances'.  It stopped the remarks on things like our house or cars, but a new watch, appliance or something invariably triggers remarks like 'I'm so jealous!' 'You're so lucky!' DH's business is doing well, but we don't spend money like it's water at all and our lifestyle is not overboard so these remarks are aggravating. What makes it more so is that this person thinks nothing of spending $1-2,000 at a whack if some new computer or other gizmo comes out, which of course is their prerogative,but geez, don't try to make me feel like a wasteful spendthrift if I buy a Kitchen Aide. These kinds of remarks always throw me off balance  ::)

Yes!  Isn't that irritating?  It's always *different* when its something they buy because they feel they deserve it and have worked for it, but when someone else gets something new that's a different story.   Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh!  They suck the fun and enjoyment out of having bought the shiny new thing for yourself and leave you feeling annoyed.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

tinkytinky

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #38 on: July 23, 2014, 09:26:26 AM »
You said she is a good friend, so for the $45 skirt, I'd have said "yep. I sometimes pay a little more for quality pieces that I can wear for years". It isn't JADEing, it's conversation with a friend (ok, it is explaining, but this is a friend and a short, curt response may be worse). I don't even think you needed to say you had a coupon. That's more apologizing for wanting to spend you own money. I sounds like she was a little jealous because she mentioned it to her boyfriend.

"That drink is $7?!" your comment: "Hmmm.....it sure is. I'm enjoying every drop of it too!"

Yvaine

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #39 on: July 23, 2014, 09:28:08 AM »
I probably would just not go shopping with her again.  People that do this suck the fun out of buying and having nice things. This though process about money is deeply ingrained in them, I don't think subtle comments will get these people to change.  I get these comments when I buy things from Chanel.  I wouldn't buy these things if it was a problem for me, I'm not going into debt for them.  The comments still come: "Why buy something so expensive", "I could never afford that", "It must be nice", "Its a waste of money".  Well I like it, want it, can afford it and it's no ones business what I spend my money on.  The people who makes these comments I only see when I must because they're a drag.  I have even gotten comment that I should donate the money to a children's charity instead.  No, just no.

Some people sail, some race cars or horses, some collect stamps or have a motorcycle.  For some reason those are OK but for an average person to buy a few accessory items from Chanel every year is made into some big deal.  It's aggravating at the very least.

I've got one acquaintance I don't shop with anymore because every time I picked up something cute to look at it, her response was always, "You could make that for less!" Well, maybe, but the process of getting to that skill level would take me years, and I need a dress for the wedding next week. And maybe I don't even want to, and I buy things so that I don't have to make them!

And it's not like she even practices what she preaches. She hoards piles and piles of fabric and craft supplies, but never actually makes anything. She wears clothes from the store just like I do.

SamiHami

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #40 on: July 23, 2014, 09:30:12 AM »
By the way, OP, you didn't mention how your BF responded when Jon complained to him. I hope he said something like, "Hey, it's her money to spend, not mine."

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

gramma dishes

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #41 on: July 23, 2014, 10:00:43 AM »
By the way, OP, you didn't mention how your BF responded when Jon complained to him. I hope he said something like, "Hey, it's her money to spend, not mine."

If I were the BF, I'd have just looked at Jon as though I had just noticed for the first time that Jon had three heads and asked, "Why are you telling me this?"  ???

mime

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #42 on: July 23, 2014, 10:30:21 AM »
Quote
CaffeineKatie's approach, "why are you pointing that out?"  might also work.

I really like this one. It's no one else's business how you spend your money, and adding judgement calls about it is extra rude. It doesn't matter if you agree with what someone else blows a pile of money on, or skimps on, because if it's not your money, butt out. So the "lather, rinse, repeat" use of "Why?" + *quizzical look* might be a way of dealing. "Why are you pointing that out?" "Why are you so concerned about my budget?" "Why does this matter to you?" "No, really, I don't understand why you are so invested in my finances?" "Why would you ask such personal questions?"

I like these. I think I'd look at her with a concerned look and say "You point out my spending habits a lot-- are you worried about how I spend my money?"

I'd also probably avoid shopping with her.

perpetua

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #43 on: July 23, 2014, 10:38:47 AM »
I agree that someone who does this is massively annoying. However, there is one exception that I can see: the person who does it through exasperation when their friend is splashing the cash around them when they know they can't. That isn't worded at all well, so I'll give some examples: If, say, someone was the sort of friend - and I'm sure our OP isn't! - who goes out to dinner with their friend who's strapped for cash and orders a fillet steak every time and says "Mmm, this steak sure is delicious!" while she watches her friend eat a cheeseburger because it's all she can afford, or insists the two of them go shopping and then buys expensive clothes while the friend has to shop in charity shops because she's got no money, or or or, then I could understand the friend making the odd comment through sheer exasperation when it becomes Not Fun Anymore. (Still not explaining that well).

Basically I think there are instances when a little tact about splashing the cash is required, but this is just offered for general discussion; I am in no way implying that this is what the OP is doing.

In a past life, both my partner and I were unemployed and money was extremely tight, bordering on not being able to afford the roof over our head any more. We had a friend - and I use that term loosely - who'd come round to our house and brag about this new toy and that new toy, right in front of the pile of bills and the Tesco Value teabags, constantly, and it got really old. It was like he was rubbing it in our faces. That's the kind of thing I mean. Technically it's probably not rude, but it can be insensitive.

gramma dishes

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #44 on: July 23, 2014, 10:50:24 AM »
...   We had a friend - and I use that term loosely - who'd come round to our house and brag about this new toy and that new toy, right in front of the pile of bills and the Tesco Value teabags, constantly, and it got really old. It was like he was rubbing it in our faces. That's the kind of thing I mean. Technically it's probably not rude, but it can be insensitive.

I think most of us would agree that bragging about all your personal extravagances in front of people you know full well are really struggling is technically rude.  Quite rude.   >:(