Author Topic: Wow! That's Expensive!!  (Read 7467 times)

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JolieFille

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Wow! That's Expensive!!
« on: July 22, 2014, 09:35:33 PM »
So I have a problem that I have absolutely no idea how to handle.

        I have a very good friend, Jane and her boyfriend Jon. We go on double dates sometimes and I do enjoy their company which is why I'm at a loss on how to handle this.

         They point out how expensive the things I'm buying are. The first instance I just let it go; we were at a store in the mall and I tried on an outfit to get Jane's opinion before I bought it. The price tag of the skirt was visible and she said " That skirt is 45$!?!" Well. Yeah. It was. I got kind of embarrassed and mumbled about having a coupon and went back to the dressing room. I later found out that Jon got upset and told my boyfriend that I was rubbing things in Jane's face. O.o okay. I can't exactly remove the alarm-tag which is what the price tag was hooked on.

The second instance was Sunday we went out to dinner the four of us. My boyfriend and I decided to try a new margarita flavor and we were having a decent time until they saw our bill. Chili's has those table computer things; so no hiding it. "That margarita was 7$!?" "That's sooo expensive!!"
Head meet table. I was really proud of myself that even with a margarita in my system I didn't snap something along the lines of "You're not paying for it so it's not YOUR concern" Gah.  :-X

So, eHellions, how do I handle this in the future and still be polite?

Dazi

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2014, 09:53:12 PM »
My current phrase is,  "I budgeted for this" or "I enjoy the splurge every now and again".  I've also used,  "It's a present to myself" and "I might as well spend my money while I'm alive  :P,  it's not going to do me any good when I'm dead".

Truthfully, I shop most of the time at thrift stores,  just so when I do decide to drop $$$ on an item,  it doesn't hurt so bad.  I nearly made a friend's head explode when she found out I paid almost $300 for a purse. It was my present to myself for making my weight goal and that's what I flipping wanted.

Honestly,  it's no one's business how you spend your money.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2014, 09:54:23 PM »
You say Jane is your very good friend.  Was she this price tag conscious about your purchases before Jon entered the picture?

You aren't flaunting price tags or refusing to ride in their car, insisting upon taking your own Rolls Royce instead.  So I would just ignore these inappropriate comments on your purchases and change the subject.

cabbagegirl28

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2014, 09:57:14 PM »
I would say lightheartedly, "Well, we/I think it's worth it. Bean dip?" If they try to engage further, such as, "But don't you realize the cost?", I would say, "Yes, you've mentioned that" with optional flavors of bean dip.

If they bring it up constantly, I think that would be a time to take one of them aside and say, "Look, when you remark on my purchases like that, I feel uncomfortable." I personally, if the friend were close enough to me, would add, "My finances are none of your business unless I involve your money or property in it", but the friend sounds a little sensitive, so that would probably come off too harshly.


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MurPl1

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2014, 10:01:25 PM »
I'm curious to see the responses.  Because I've been in your shoes and I ended up just not hanging out with them.  Which ends up just making me look like a snob when that's not at all the case.  I'm just uncomfortable having my "within my budget" purchases scrutinized or commented on, or criticized.

CaffeineKatie

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2014, 11:22:18 PM »
I would just flat out say "why are you pointing that out?" and wait silently for an answer--no explaining/justifying/anything.  Maybe something is going on in her financial life, maybe she's dating a cheap guy and it makes her more aware, maybe, maybe, maybe--let her explain why she's doing it.  And if she can't come up with a good reason (and I can't imagine what would justify her comments) I'd say "I know what I can afford--beandip?"  It might make her think more about what she is saying.

StoutGirl

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2014, 11:37:53 PM »
Oh boy, this is a tough one!  If I were in the same situation, I would probably say what was mentioned before (I am splurging a little on myself tonight), but I would probably avoid shopping with your friend from now on.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2014, 12:00:48 AM »
I simply say "I can afford it" with a smile.  Or "yes it was" with a smile. 

You aren't the one with a problem, she is. 

Raintree

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2014, 12:41:35 AM »
I wish I could find a skirt for $45 or a margarita for $7........much higher prices where I live!!

I don't know, I'd likely fall back on my old standby, "You sure seem to take a lot of interest in the cost of my purchases."

dirtyweasel

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2014, 01:10:29 AM »
I would just flat out say "why are you pointing that out?" and wait silently for an answer--no explaining/justifying/anything.  Maybe something is going on in her financial life, maybe she's dating a cheap guy and it makes her more aware, maybe, maybe, maybe--let her explain why she's doing it.  And if she can't come up with a good reason (and I can't imagine what would justify her comments) I'd say "I know what I can afford--beandip?"  It might make her think more about what she is saying.

This is where I stand as well.  If they mention something being expensive just ask them, "Why do you keep bringing up the price of stuff I'm paying for?  I don't make comments on the cost of things you buy."   If they keep harping on your purchases I would give them the arched eyebrow look and pointedly change the subject.  It's none of their business how or what you spend your money on or how much you spend on anything.



greencat

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2014, 01:35:52 AM »
I have been using "Yeah, it's nice finally having a job where I can buy this and not worry about it."

Bethalize

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2014, 04:00:04 AM »
I hate people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

My response would be: "I think it's good value" and leave it at that. Value is not the same as price, so you're covered. Don't be drawn.

This is a very irritating habit. It's a bit like the diet police when whatever you eat they would be able to improve it nutritionally. It's not about the issue, is about their sense of superiority.

cicero

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2014, 05:17:31 AM »
I hate people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

My response would be: "I think it's good value" and leave it at that. Value is not the same as price, so you're covered. Don't be drawn.

This is a very irritating habit. It's a bit like the diet police when whatever you eat they would be able to improve it nutritionally. It's not about the issue, is about their sense of superiority.
you're right - it is like the diet police. and i think "i've budgeted for this" is a good approach - whether it's a 7$ margarita or 1200 calorie cheese cake

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MariaE

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2014, 05:42:52 AM »
I hate people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

My response would be: "I think it's good value" and leave it at that. Value is not the same as price, so you're covered. Don't be drawn.

This is a very irritating habit. It's a bit like the diet police when whatever you eat they would be able to improve it nutritionally. It's not about the issue, is about their sense of superiority.
you're right - it is like the diet police. and i think "i've budgeted for this" is a good approach - whether it's a 7$ margarita or 1200 calorie cheese cake

Personally I'd think that was explaining / justifying too much. I don't have to defend my choices to anybody other than my husband. I think that I'd probably just shrug and say "Isn't it gorgeous?" (speaking of the skirt) or something like that.
 
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Margo

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Re: Wow! That's Expensive!!
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2014, 06:34:42 AM »
Depending on your relationship with her, then a light-hearted "Yes. Lucky I'm not asking you to pay for it!"  might work.
I agree that 'Why are you pointing that out" is fine. If the comment is "That skirt if $45" then "yes?" in a slightly puzzled tone of voice, is also good - if you think of how you might react if she was stating the obvious about something else.

I completely agree with you that this is infuriating. I had a colleague do this about a restuarant I went to recently. She heard me talking to another colleague about the meal, asked me which restuarant I'd been to, then went away to look at the restaurant's website and came back to tell me how expensive it was.
Er, I know. I was there .  I paid for myself, and how I chose to spend my money is no-one's business but mine.
(It was a superlative meal. It's not something I could afford anything like a regular basis, but as a very rare treat it was absolutely worth every penny. I *dreamt* about the ravioli afterwards!)