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  • June 27, 2016, 09:30:34 PM

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Author Topic: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?  (Read 5317 times)

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gellchom

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #30 on: August 08, 2014, 01:15:35 PM »
I didn't mean every last vendor, but for the main ones, they really appreciate it.  They keep letters thanking them and telling them they did a great job in albums, on a bulletin board on the wall, on their web sites (they ask permission for that); it's good for business, so they really appreciate them.  Builds a good relationship for next time.

Sometimes if they did an exceptional job, or I know them personally, I make a donation in their honor to a charity they like or give them a small gift.  I once baked some goodies for the desk staff at a hotel that was outstanding for our guests.

You did a great job on your thank you notes, menley!  I agree; perfectly acceptable time frame.  As you probably know, you didn't have to wait to open the gifts until after the wedding, but with such a short delay, it's inconsequential.  Some couples do the opposite of what you did: they write to each other's side.  Makes a great impression, and it's even a little flattering to the guests: "Hey, Durwood, did you see that this thank you note from Petunia and Cuthbert was written by Cuthbert? Wow, she married a jewel; I hope we get a son-in-law like that, too.  I didn't even think he'd remember who we were, and he wrote about what good dancers we are."  (Of course, Cuthbert did not, in fact, remember them at all and was given the info necessary for a personal note by Petunia.  No matter!)

kareng57

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #31 on: August 08, 2014, 09:38:25 PM »
I'm not sure I agree that a thank you note for vendors is important. It's a business transaction - I paid for their services and tipped them, and they did their job. Certainly if they went above and beyond their responsibilities it would be nice to send them a note of appreciation, but otherwise? They're simply following the business contract.

Regarding timing of thank you notes, we wrote notes prior to the wedding for all gifts received at showers, which was the majority of our wedding presents. We saved ourselves a great deal of stress after the honeymoon as nearly 60% of our thank you notes were already sent. Those gifts that were sent to the home mostly arrived 1-2 weeks before the wedding - we waited until after the honeymoon to open them and to write the notes, but both my husband and I are quite fond of writing notes, so we had them all in the mail within 2 weeks of our honeymoon. So, the longest it could have gone without being received was approximately 5 weeks, which I think is perfectly acceptable. We divided the notes - for gifts that came from his side of the guest list, my husband wrote the notes (and I added my signature) and vice versa.


I agree with you.  I wouldn't send a thank-you note to vendors even if I thought they did a great job; isn't that what they are supposed to do?  I'd only consider doing so if I thought they really went the extra mile in satisfying a last-minute request, for example.

And your TY notes went out at a fine interval.  It's definitely easier if you have a lot of them already written by the time you get back from your honeymoon.

daen

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #32 on: August 26, 2014, 04:20:32 PM »
I'm not sure I agree that a thank you note for vendors is important. It's a business transaction - I paid for their services and tipped them, and they did their job. Certainly if they went above and beyond their responsibilities it would be nice to send them a note of appreciation, but otherwise? They're simply following the business contract.

Regarding timing of thank you notes, we wrote notes prior to the wedding for all gifts received at showers, which was the majority of our wedding presents. We saved ourselves a great deal of stress after the honeymoon as nearly 60% of our thank you notes were already sent. Those gifts that were sent to the home mostly arrived 1-2 weeks before the wedding - we waited until after the honeymoon to open them and to write the notes, but both my husband and I are quite fond of writing notes, so we had them all in the mail within 2 weeks of our honeymoon. So, the longest it could have gone without being received was approximately 5 weeks, which I think is perfectly acceptable. We divided the notes - for gifts that came from his side of the guest list, my husband wrote the notes (and I added my signature) and vice versa.


I agree with you.  I wouldn't send a thank-you note to vendors even if I thought they did a great job; isn't that what they are supposed to do?  I'd only consider doing so if I thought they really went the extra mile in satisfying a last-minute request, for example.

And your TY notes went out at a fine interval.  It's definitely easier if you have a lot of them already written by the time you get back from your honeymoon.

I think that vendors would appreciate a good review on an appropriate website or facebook page in lieu of a thank-you note. Some (like my florist, for example) also appreciate a wedding photo or two that showcase their work in an actual wedding, as opposed to a photo shoot.

The pics would be on a case-by-case basis, but pretty much any business can do with a positive review.

TootsNYC

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #33 on: August 26, 2014, 06:33:59 PM »
I don't care about the picture. It's just going to become clutter very rapidly anyway (in about 20 seconds, in my house).

I like to hear something specific about the gift, how you think it might impact your life. Something that makes me believe that you -noticed- what you received from me, and that it registered that I was the one who gave it to you. 

I'd like to hear one short, fun/funny/interesting thing about your honeymoon (or some other slightly newsy thing from you, far apart from the wedding and gift). Two sentences, max. Something that makes me feel connected to you in ways that aren't just that I got you a gift.

I personally don't care about being thanked for attending the wedding.

gellchom

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #34 on: March 03, 2016, 07:38:48 PM »
We got an exceptionally good thank you note recently, so I thought of this thread. 

The bride is the daughter of our best friends, like a niece to us.  My husband performed the ceremony.  The gift was a formal, monogrammed tablecloth and napkins.  It wasn't on the registry, but I'd checked with the bride's mom and she agreed they would love it (not many people these days would!  But they do).  They opened it in front of us the day after the wedding and they did seem delighted.

***

Dear Gellchom and DH,
We cannot describe how much it meant to share our wedding day with both of you, you both mean so much to us.  Seeing Gellchom's smiling face during the ceremony and sharing/standing under the chuppah [wedding canopy] with DH was more special than we could have ever hoped for.  We are lucky to have you in our lives and we love you very much.
Thank you so much for the beautiful linens.  We are so proud to display them and can't wait to share many shabbat [sabbath] dinners with you and the family we will build around them.
All our love,
Bride & Groom
***

I give that one A++++.

lowspark

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #35 on: March 04, 2016, 02:48:57 PM »
For me, what really sets that note apart, aside from the clearly heartfelt wording, is the juxtaposition of the paragraphs. I always tend to put the "thank you for the gift" part first and then say "it was great to see you at the event" part second. But switching them around like that really emphasizes the order of importance.

Most important to the bride and groom was your presence and participation in the day. Only after that is acknowledged are thanks for the gift important.

That's a lovely note.
Houston 
Texas 
USA 

mandycorn

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #36 on: March 04, 2016, 04:13:48 PM »
For me, what really sets that note apart, aside from the clearly heartfelt wording, is the juxtaposition of the paragraphs. I always tend to put the "thank you for the gift" part first and then say "it was great to see you at the event" part second. But switching them around like that really emphasizes the order of importance.

Most important to the bride and groom was your presence and participation in the day. Only after that is acknowledged are thanks for the gift important.

That's a lovely note.

That's a really good analysis of why I like it so much too. I'll have to remember that for the next time I write thank you notes, because I do tend to fall into that "Thank you for the X, I really appreciate it. I'll think of you when I use it for <interesting detail here>" format.
"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln 

gellchom

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #37 on: March 04, 2016, 05:04:17 PM »
I agree, that's the best part about it.  Tell them how much you value and appreciate them first, then how much you appreciate the gift.  I try to put it in that order, too. 

Which may be why this bride did it that way -- many years ago, around the time she and her brother and my son all had their b'nei mitzvah, we had a little thank you note writing lesson.  I'm not 100% sure that we talked about not starting with "Thank you for the ...," but I know she knows I would appreciate such an exceptional note.

Anyway, some posters have said that writing doesn't come all that easily to them; this little trick of starting with something other than "Thank you for the [gift]" is something easy that anyone can do, even in a shorter -- say, three- or four-sentence -- note.

gellchom

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Re: Thank you letters - what do you like to receive?
« Reply #38 on: April 04, 2016, 03:22:35 PM »
I just realized that the excellent thank you note I wrote about a few posts up was from the young woman whose clever thank you note for her bat mitzvah gift I wrote about in another string:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=133661.0 -- #14.