Wearing Makeup

[madmusician]

A little background on me...I like to live simply. I don't spend an hour doing my hair every morning. My morning routine consists of dressing and brushing hair/teeth. I don't wear makeup. I wear chapstick or sometimes tinted lip balm. Occasionally I will wear a lipstick, and once in awhile I will wear some foundation.

My mother has informed me that I am being exceedingly disrespectful to my boyfriend for not wearing makeup around him. Oh, and I am also being rude to everyone else on the planet for not wearing makeup. She's the type of person who isn't seen without the whole getup--foundation, blush, eyeliner, shadow, mascara, lipstick, etc.

I don't have any hideous scars or disfigurements. I don't have pockmarks or acne scars. I might have a zit or two (which I DO usually try to cover up), but that's it.

Am I rude for not wearing makeup? Have I really been so competely clueless?

ETA: I also take care of other hygiene in the morning, in case you were wondering. I was just pointing out that I'm not very focused on makeup, hair, etc.

[snacky-poo]

she's your mother  - not your warden!!  You can do as you want

Sounds like you are doing just fine.  I don't always wear make -up, but am groomed.  I think that's all that counts.

[Lisbeth]

I don't think you're being rude.

My mother used to act the same way with me and my former boyfriend.

I'd tell your mother, "Mom, unless someone tells me that they are allergic or intolerant to makeup, it's solely my decision to make as to whether or not I'm going to wear it.  It's not rude for me to leave it off, even in the presence of a boyfriend."

[wetblanket]

Rude?  No way.  Not even close.  It's not even a question.

Cosmetics companies would LOVE for women to believe that make-up is essential for basic social inclusion, but it's not.

[Chartreuse]

No, it's not rude to not wear makeup.  It IS rude to comment on somebody's appearance and personal choices on the matter, though.     You're fine, your mom's... well... your mom. 

[Hawkwatcher]

Of course you are not rude.  You are a person and not a doll.  You are under no obligation to conform to any sexist and outdated views about how women should look.

[Alida]

I hope not, because I'd be rude, too.  I do not wear makeup unless I have something special to be ready for. 

And I don't think the guys at the dojang want to see me with my face painted - it would just get on everyone's doboks.

[Ulla dances in a silly way]

No it's not rude. You don't owe him makeup.

I find the insinuation that a woman is only complete with makeup ridiculous. I never wear makeup and my hair is very low maintainance. I figured my fiance will see me without makeup so why shock him the first time I woke up next to him bare-faced? One of the saddest things I ever heard was an aquaintance mentioning how scary his girlfriend looked without her makeup in the morning.

Besides, if you rarely wear makeup it's a lot easier to go all out when you have the occasion to.

-Ulla

[Brentwood]

Of course it's not rude not to wear makeup! And even if you DID have disfigurements, scars, pockmarks, or acne scars, it still wouldn't be rude not to wear makeup. You practice good hygiene. Anything beyond that is personal preference.

[mumma to KMC]

My dh would rather me not wear make up. He says that he likes to see my freckles.

I haven't worn make up in about 3 years and don't see anything wrong with that. I have a friend who said that I should at least wear foundation and was shocked when I decided to ditch foundation one summer. (I worked in a major city with a 6 block walk from where my car was parked to the office...I hated the feeling of being grimy by 830 in the morning.)

You are fine and don't worry, Max Factor will survive with out you!

[hobish]

No no no & let me add - no. It is not rude to not wear make-up. It is not dispespectful in any way to anyone.

I like to wear it sometimes & sometimes will go weeks without it, personally. I don't get how it is rude to go without it.

I only shave when i durn well feel like it, too ... so if not wearing make-up is rude i must be a monster!

[catsrme7]

Obviously, your BF was attacted to you without makeup.  So, how is it now disrespectful for you to now wear it?

[veryfluffy]

It is unfortunate that some people think that women's natural appearance is so inadequate and unattractive that it has to be covered up and amended by the application of an assortment of cosmetic products.

What is strange is that your mother thinks this of you. One suspects she has a deep-seated inferiority complex, which extends to the unfortunate genetic endowment she apparently feels she has saddled you with.

You need to feel sorry for your mother, both for her warped idea of beauty and for her lack of manners.

[Suze]

I have never figured out just WHY we need to paint our faces up.  Guys don't have to do it to be accepted.

But then Mom never wore makeup.  Your face is your face. Treat it your way.  I would rather see a "naked" face then one that you could scrape your name in.

Makeup just feels so phony on my face.  Like, that's not who I am.

[kingsrings]

The only time I wear make-up is for special events or when I'm onstage performing. Otherwise it's too much of a hassle and I don't like going through that. The same thing with dressing up, only for special occassions or costuming purposes. That is just my personal style. I have been judged negatively for being like this. It was a big bone of contention with my last boyfriend and I. He felt that I needed to show how much I really cared about him by dressing up and wearing make-up for him. He told me that he was the 'special occasion' and needed to be treated as such if he was important to me. Funny, because I don't remember making it a requirement that he lose those excess thirty pounds of weight he carried to show that he cared about me. He even took me to a store once and bought me two formal dresses so I wouldn't have an excuse!

I feel that as long as a person is well-groomed and wears clean clothes, that is enough.