Author Topic: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons  (Read 3233 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Roe

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6484
Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« on: July 27, 2014, 08:46:58 PM »


For those that followed my K'nnihave saga, here's a bit of an update on nephew1.

As you may remember, DH and I tried to be there for our nephews as much as possible during their childhood and formative years. It was difficult to have a one on one relationship with our nephews because  K'nnihave got in the middle of our interactions. K'nnihave always wanted us to give and do for her and, many times, she used nephews as the reason...."for the children" type way of thinking.

The last time nephew1 and I spoke, I was not very happy with him. He was drinking and getting into trouble. He basically turned his back on us and didn't want to hear what we had to say, so we didn't say a word and kept our distance.

In the two years since we pulled back, he has emailed me and DH a few times. Each time, we've offered our advice but left it up to him to make his own decisions. We've also been pretty blunt in giving advice. No kid gloves here. Basically, we told him that he had the power to change his life if he was willing to work for it. Ya know, the same thing we'd say to our kids, that's what we said to him.

A year ago, he moved to Big City and away from K'nnihave and BIL. It's been a good thing for him.

We hadn't seen nephew in two years. He visited last week and his transformation was awesome to see! He's matured and being away from his parent's toxic behavior has done wonders for him! (Though he still has to deal with their toxic phone calls but he's working on that next)

I can't even begin to describe how far he's come! Though he loves his parents, of course, he can see them for who they are and he tries to protect himself from them as much as he can.

He's smart, capable and plans to travel as much as he can afford. ( his dad doesn't like the idea and doesn't understand why he'd want to do that) Nephew1 said that he doesn't understand the mindset of his parents but that isn't going to stop him from accomplishing his goals.

As far as nephew2, well, he's about to become a teenage dad in a few months and he's living with K'nnihave. Nephew1 gives him as much advice as he can but Nephew2 is still very much in toxic-K'nnihave land. Nephew1 is working on helping nephew2 move out of hometown and away from their toxic parents.

I am so happy with how far nephew1 has come! He's had the odds stacked against him for so long but I can see he is beginning to break the chains of his childhood.

Many of you said that one day he'd thank us for everything. Well, this past weekend, he did. He said that the last two years without us in his life was like a pain in his heart. He's planning to visit again soon.



cabbagegirl28

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1199
  • violinp's my sister :)
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2014, 08:55:04 PM »
It sounds like Nephew1 really matured into a nice young man. I'm very happy for him and for you all.


Vita brevis, ars longa

P12663

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 800
  • I can take dragons. Or give them away. Honest.
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2014, 08:57:49 PM »
That is so good to hear!  Congratulations!  It is very heartwarming.  You love them and do the best you can and sometimes that just isn't enough but sometimes it is and that is just so cool!

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8318
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2014, 09:10:32 PM »
Honestly, I must confess here that I was sort of expecting something quite different.  I'm so glad that your update was such a wonderful and positive one instead.  It's nice to know he met YOUR expectations and not mine for him considering what he's been through as a kid. 

I can feel the pride in your "voice" and he deserves accolades for pulling himself up and out.  And so do you for helping him accomplish that.

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8345
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2014, 10:00:37 PM »
Great update! I am so happy to hear of his maturation and his attitude as an adult.

gmatoy

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1404
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2014, 10:16:36 PM »
Roe, I am so glad to read this update! Hurray for nephew 1! (Double hurray for you and your DH!)

sammycat

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6214
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2014, 11:11:52 PM »
Honestly, I must confess here that I was sort of expecting something quite different.  I'm so glad that your update was such a wonderful and positive one instead.  It's nice to know he met YOUR expectations and not mine for him considering what he's been through as a kid. 

I can feel the pride in your "voice" and he deserves accolades for pulling himself up and out.  And so do you for helping him accomplish that.

I have to admit the same thing, so it was nice to be proved wrong.

breny

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 267
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2014, 11:12:17 PM »
It's wonderful to hear nephew1 is figuring it out. You modeled boundary setting and limiting time with the toxics. It sounds like N1 has taken your lessons to heart. Give yourselves giant pat on the back. I Hope N2 will listen to N1 and come around, but you can't save everyone.

MommyPenguin

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4631
    • My blog!
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2014, 11:17:42 PM »
That's really great!  I'm glad that he's turned into such a nice young man.  I hope that ultimately things will go the same way with Nephew2!

PastryGoddess

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5204
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2014, 11:25:38 PM »
what a great update!

weeblewobble

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3397
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2014, 11:57:43 PM »
I'm so glad that Nephew1 seems to be "coming out the other side" of his troubles! :)

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17949
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2014, 12:14:18 AM »
wonderful update! thank you so much for this - it's nice to hear.

(has it been two years since "the summer of no"?)

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

Marga

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 122
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2014, 04:31:30 AM »
Such wonderful news! I am so happy for everyone involved.
You've done good, Roe!

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1734
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2014, 07:09:55 AM »
What a great update! Thank you for sharing.

viviennebzb

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 25
Re: Update on nephews-K'nnihave's sons
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2014, 12:19:04 PM »
I read the whole saga as a lurker, and benefited from it (I had, at the time, my own version of K'nnihave). So glad to read such a positive update. Good for you and nephew1!