General Etiquette > Family and Children

Should I Sent My Aunt An Invitation?

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Millionaire Maria:
Quick question for those Ehellions who are wiser than I:

I'm throwing a family only baby shower for my brother's pregnant girlfriend. Only the ladies on my side of the family are being invited. The shower is in Alberta and I have an aunt in British Columbia. My aunt has been battling cancer for almost eight months now and no one knows if she's going to make it or not. There is no way she is capable of coming to the shower. Should I send her an invitation anyway? I don't want her to think we've written her off, but I don't want her to think I'm being insensitive either. Argh! I don't know what to do!

Drunken Housewife:
I think that it depends upon her personality.  Since we don't know her, it's hard to guess whether she's the type who wants to feel included and be invited, even if she can't go, or if she would feel like it was a gift grab and insensitive given her situation.

One of my husband's half brothers got really offended that we sent him a wedding invitation, and he was able bodied but doesn't fly (I don't know why; it may or may not involve a fear of flying).  Evidently it was quite rude of us to invite a person who lives a few time zones away to our wedding when they don't fly  ::) 

I can see this going either way, being offensive not sending it or being offensive sending it.  Someone who actually knows her would be better able to guess which way to go.

Yes, if she is not desperately ill at this time (not conscious, in the hospital, etc. ), then I think you should send her an invitation.  She is always free to decline but if you don't even invite her, she doen't get a choice. 

Any chance she could "attend" part of the shower via Facetime or Skype?  If so, your invitation could give that option or mention the idea to her.  It could be a fun way to include her in the festivities without her having to travel.

I'd send it, and then give her a phone call before it gets to her house.  Let her know that you know her health will make it difficult for her to attend, but if she's feeling up to it, she's very welcome.

POD to GreenBird.  I've heard of that being done among LadyTango's friends, and it always seems that the person who can't physically make it to the event really appreciates the effort to include them.


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