Author Topic: Groom vs. DJ  (Read 6329 times)

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gellchom

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #30 on: August 11, 2014, 05:40:33 PM »
It's really true, there's more than one way to go about this, and you have to think of what your goals are and really picture how it's going to play out, not just think about what's your favorite type of music.  My choice would be not to worry about the music being reflective of my own tastes -- I can listen to my favorite songs another time -- and instead to choose what I think will make my party work the way I want: background jazz for a mellower feel, pop and standards for getting people on the dance floor, etc.  But that's because I am more interested in the flow of the party than the music, which isn't the only way to look at it.  YMMV.

I went to an amazing party once where they had a band with a dance group.  They changed the music after every break -- all standards, then all oldies, then all Broadway, then all hip-hop, etc. -- and first the dance group performed a little bit (in a different set of costumes each time, too), then pulled the guests out onto the floor and danced with us, and then subtly disappeared once they got us going.  It was really fun -- and I'm sure it cost a fortune.  But anyway you could do the dramatic change of music in each set.

At my daughter's upcoming wedding, now that I think of it, it will be something like that.  They are starting with the hora as the guests come in, and continuing for 30-40 minutes nonstop.  In my experience, that works great (at a Jewish wedding, of course).  The music is playing as the guests come in, and the ice breaks immediately -- the men's jacket's and women's high heels come off, and everyone loosens up right away and joins in or at least stands around the perimeter and claps.  So by the time they sit down, they are already partying and feel like one group.  Anyway, after that, I think there will be mostly standards, and then later in the evening when the band takes a break, recorded Israeli and Persian pop music (reflective of the groom's side), and then I think she said mostly Motown style after that.  But the band will read the room and switch it up if things aren't working or keep on going if they are.

That's why I said I would trust the DJ.  They are good at that.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #31 on: August 11, 2014, 05:54:08 PM »
I would not trust the DJ.  It seems that their only idea of dance music is club style dance music.

If I were getting married today, there is no way I would have a Justin Bieber song played at the reception no matter how popular it is

Rock and roll can be danced to whether or not it is considered "dance music."

I think it possible for the groom here to have the music he likes at his wedding reception and still have it be somehting that people will dance to.

The reason I would not trust the DJ is that its too much of a packaged product--they have their list and they kind of stick to it.

When I got married there was no popular music played at all and everyone danced.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #32 on: August 11, 2014, 11:21:55 PM »
We had a jazz trio and probably played nothing written after 1965 or so.  I've never realized tell today how terribly rude we were!

;-)

I'd say (hypothetical) you are stretching pretty far if you've decided that the music selections at a event you've been invited to attend are not up to your standards.  Whatever happened to just relaxing and enjoying the party?

I don't think you were rude at all, since Jazz is a fairly broad and popular category of music.

Also, I assume you weren't expecting your guests to do anything that's largely incompatible with jazz music (for example, slam dancing, or moshing), so your choice of music reflected your intention for your guests.

Sophia

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #33 on: August 12, 2014, 08:15:07 AM »
We had a jazz trio and probably played nothing written after 1965 or so.  I've never realized tell today how terribly rude we were!

;-)

I'd say (hypothetical) you are stretching pretty far if you've decided that the music selections at a event you've been invited to attend are not up to your standards.  Whatever happened to just relaxing and enjoying the party?

I don't think you were rude at all, since Jazz is a fairly broad and popular category of music.

Also, I assume you weren't expecting your guests to do anything that's largely incompatible with jazz music (for example, slam dancing, or moshing), so your choice of music reflected your intention for your guests.

Yeah, I agree.  A jazz trio is pretty mainstream.  What would have been my preference, a fat lady or two singing a selection of opera arias, not so much.  But, even that wouldn't have been rude. 

TurtleDove

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #34 on: August 12, 2014, 04:37:29 PM »
I would not trust the DJ.  It seems that their only idea of dance music is club style dance music.

If I were getting married today, there is no way I would have a Justin Bieber song played at the reception no matter how popular it is

Rock and roll can be danced to whether or not it is considered "dance music."

I think it possible for the groom here to have the music he likes at his wedding reception and still have it be somehting that people will dance to.

The reason I would not trust the DJ is that its too much of a packaged product--they have their list and they kind of stick to it.

When I got married there was no popular music played at all and everyone danced.

I am nearly certain not all DJs are as you describe.  That is why people generally shop around for the DJ that works for them and whom they can trust.  I am sure there are horror stories from HCs who did not do their due diligence in picking a DJ, but I am equally sure there are wonderful stories of HCs who researched DJs, picked one that had what they were looking for, met with that DJ and went over the goals for the event, and everything went really well.

pinkflamingo

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Re: Groom vs. DJ, Slight Update #35
« Reply #35 on: August 13, 2014, 11:14:43 AM »
Apparently, the groom posted his plans for the music on Facebook and a couple of his friends protested. They suggested that at least *some* of the music should be standards familiar to all guests. The groom has not yet responded. My friend is watching the situation with interest.

shhh its me

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #36 on: August 16, 2014, 08:25:58 AM »
I would not trust the DJ.  It seems that their only idea of dance music is club style dance music.

If I were getting married today, there is no way I would have a Justin Bieber song played at the reception no matter how popular it is

Rock and roll can be danced to whether or not it is considered "dance music."

I think it possible for the groom here to have the music he likes at his wedding reception and still have it be somehting that people will dance to.

The reason I would not trust the DJ is that its too much of a packaged product--they have their list and they kind of stick to it.

When I got married there was no popular music played at all and everyone danced.

I am nearly certain not all DJs are as you describe.  That is why people generally shop around for the DJ that works for them and whom they can trust.  I am sure there are horror stories from HCs who did not do their due diligence in picking a DJ, but I am equally sure there are wonderful stories of HCs who researched DJs, picked one that had what they were looking for, met with that DJ and went over the goals for the event, and everything went really well.

I'm actually certain that not all DJs are like this, I'm nearly certain most aren't.  Over the all the weddings I've been to in decades the DJs/bands have reflected the HC tastes. The DJs stuck to reasonable* "Don't play this.." requests. 

* I have no actually knowledge of a DJ playing a song on the Don't play list(every times a bride said "there will be no chicken dance." , there was no chicken dance) , but I assume if told play popular music of the last 30 years but not these 500 songs a mistake is more likely.

Sharnita

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #37 on: August 16, 2014, 10:39:53 AM »
It sounds like a case of Groom vs Guests since he wants the DJ to ignore their requests, tastes, etc.

I also wonder if those DJs who seem bad are really just bound by the wishes of the bride and/or groom.


What kind these kinds of restrictions and the impression they create do to the career of a DJ? If people hear/see the DJ playing music nobody dances to, will they stop to consider it might be required of the DJ or will they just blame the DJ? Will that perception cost future jobs?

Mikayla

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #38 on: August 16, 2014, 05:01:08 PM »
I would not trust the DJ.  It seems that their only idea of dance music is club style dance music.

If I were getting married today, there is no way I would have a Justin Bieber song played at the reception no matter how popular it is

Rock and roll can be danced to whether or not it is considered "dance music."

I think it possible for the groom here to have the music he likes at his wedding reception and still have it be somehting that people will dance to.

The reason I would not trust the DJ is that its too much of a packaged product--they have their list and they kind of stick to it.

When I got married there was no popular music played at all and everyone danced.

I am nearly certain not all DJs are as you describe.  That is why people generally shop around for the DJ that works for them and whom they can trust.  I am sure there are horror stories from HCs who did not do their due diligence in picking a DJ, but I am equally sure there are wonderful stories of HCs who researched DJs, picked one that had what they were looking for, met with that DJ and went over the goals for the event, and everything went really well.

I second this.  It's so easy today to get ratings on pretty much everything, and good DJ's don't get paid for flipping the tunes.  They get paid for their knowledge of what types of songs get people up and dancing, and their ability to guide people on the ones that won't work.   

I'm not a fan of guest requests on the spot, but it's not even necessary with an experienced DJ.

gellchom

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #39 on: August 16, 2014, 06:18:59 PM »
Yeah, I don't think DJs are or should be obligated to take guests' requests.  Sure, if they request something that the DJ thinks is a good idea, why not?  But if the plan is to play a certain type of play list to make the evening move a certain way, I don't think guests should feel entitled to hijack the plan.  This is the music the hosts are providing, not a jukebox in a public place.

And what if a guest requests the Chicken Dance?  I've seen it.

TheaterDiva1

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #40 on: August 16, 2014, 06:39:09 PM »
Why not play non-danceable music during dinner, when people probably won't be dancing anyway, then break out the good dance music after? Compromise.

rigs32

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #41 on: August 17, 2014, 06:44:49 PM »
Why not play non-danceable music during dinner, when people probably won't be dancing anyway, then break out the good dance music after? Compromise.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Last summer I went to a wedding where the bride cried about an hour into the reception because no one was dancing. Well, that's because the DJ was only playing a certain genre that people either love or hate per her request, and most of the sings were up eat but not really danceable. Once more dance type music was played, people started dancing.

Winterlight

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #42 on: August 19, 2014, 10:09:25 AM »
Why not play non-danceable music during dinner, when people probably won't be dancing anyway, then break out the good dance music after? Compromise.

I agree with this.

I think the couple needs to decide what they want. If you want people to dance, you need some kind of danceable music. It could be Israeli pop, swing, or linedance interspersed with Viennese waltz, but, for example, if you play only Charles Mingus, you're going to have a problem getting people on the dance floor- and I say this as someone who loves Mingus.
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amylouky

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #43 on: August 19, 2014, 10:26:53 AM »
My DH has rather obscure taste in music.. much more obscure than Smashing Pumpkins. He pretty much hates most music that has been played on the radio in the last 20 years.
Since we wanted our reception to be enjoyable for everyone including him, we gave the DJ a list of artists/songs that he wanted played during the reception, and a few artists/genres we did NOT want to hear, and then left the rest up to him. I've never been much into popular music either, so we didn't give a lot of guidance on that.
We had people dancing, mostly to the more recent pop stuff and dance classics, but he was pleasantly surprised that there were guests who it turned out are in to the same kind of music he is.

DavidH

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Re: Groom vs. DJ
« Reply #44 on: August 19, 2014, 12:33:25 PM »
I'm not sure it's rude, but it could be.  When you host, you should plan so that your guests have a good time at the event.  If your taste in music is likely compatible with that, then by all means pick the play list.  If you taste is very different from the majority of your guests, then it's ill advised at best, and probably rude to impose it on them.