General Etiquette > Family and Children

S/O of Help! How can my son politely ask a friend...My kid always want to play

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Tosha Go:
Hi,

I was interested in this topic because I have the reverse problem - my daughter is the one ALWAYS wanting to go over to people's houses and play.  Every single day.  She is 5 years old, and this is the first year she really has had people to play with on our street.  I figured it might die down after a few weeks once the novelty wore off, but it really hasn't.  I enforce a curfew of 8:00 and since she goes to a dayhome she is only around after 5pm, but around all weekend.

I often wonder if parents look at my child, and cringe when they see her coming like that kid who is always hanging around.  I try to get her to do things at home, but if I try to keep her from going out, she will hound me & whine incessantly to go out.  She never seems to want a break, or time to herself.  I cannot relate whatsoever. I can't remember much of what I was like when I was her age and if I did the same thing.  I even took her to dinner last night and she demanded we get food and come back to the house.  It took a lot to talk her out of that.

How much time is normal for kids to want to play with other kids?  Am I overthinking this?  She starts kindergarten in a few weeks so maybe that will satisfy her need to hang out around other people.  I also have a few activities planned like swimming coming up in September.

PS the original post was posted in "I'm afraid that wont be possible..." but I am putting mine in family in children because that seems more appropriate.

GreenEyedHawk:
Now seems like a good time to start teaching your DD that we wait for an invitation before we just show up at someone else's house.  It's impolite to invite ourselves over.

sweetonsno:
Is there any possibility that the novelty is not in having kids her age nearby, but the availability of different forms of entertainment? For instance, perhaps some of these families have awesome swing sets, or trampolines, or video game systems, or something similar. That would explain why she wants to go over to other people's homes rather than have them to her own.

If that turns out to be the case, one possible way to address it is to come up with a special treat for when you have guests over. It doesn't have to be a usually-forbidden food, but maybe a crafting project or some sort of somewhat-messy play activity. (If you have a plastic swimming pool, you can fill it up with biodegradable bubble bath, for instance.) Essentially, some sort of novel activity that she wouldn't usually have access to might encourage her to stay at home and invite others over.

Roe:

--- Quote from: Tosha Go on August 09, 2014, 09:04:29 PM ---I try to get her to do things at home, but if I try to keep her from going out, she will hound me & whine incessantly to go out. 

--- End quote ---

Honestly, it's better that she annoy you than bother and annoy the neighbors. Now is the perfect time to teach your daughter manners and give her a lesson in patience.

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: Tosha Go on August 09, 2014, 09:04:29 PM ---Hi,

I was interested in this topic because I have the reverse problem - my daughter is the one ALWAYS wanting to go over to people's houses and play.  Every single day.  She is 5 years old, and this is the first year she really has had people to play with on our street.  I figured it might die down after a few weeks once the novelty wore off, but it really hasn't.  I enforce a curfew of 8:00 and since she goes to a dayhome she is only around after 5pm, but around all weekend.

I often wonder if parents look at my child, and cringe when they see her coming like that kid who is always hanging around. I try to get her to do things at home, but if I try to keep her from going out, she will hound me & whine incessantly to go out.  She never seems to want a break, or time to herself.  I cannot relate whatsoever. I can't remember much of what I was like when I was her age and if I did the same thing.  I even took her to dinner last night and she demanded we get food and come back to the house.  It took a lot to talk her out of that.

How much time is normal for kids to want to play with other kids?  Am I overthinking this?  She starts kindergarten in a few weeks so maybe that will satisfy her need to hang out around other people.  I also have a few activities planned like swimming coming up in September.

PS the original post was posted in "I'm afraid that wont be possible..." but I am putting mine in family in children because that seems more appropriate.

--- End quote ---

Have you invited the neighborhood kids to your house?

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