General Etiquette > Etiquette Hell Classics

The $30 drama Llama


Another Sarah:
Anyone else's jaw drop reading this today? Admin's comments in red

Hello! I never thought Iíd have this issue but I believe I have a greedy SIL.  She isnít really my SIL, more my brotherís girlfriend but theyíve been together so long and have a family together we just call her my SIL now.

My issue is as followed: For her birthday neither my sister or I gave her anything for her birthday and she has been Female Dog about it to my brother who in turn Female Dog to our mum about it and itís gotten back to me. She was in another state with my brother when it was her birthday, brotherís birthday occurred at the same time and, of course, we got something for him. When they got back it was my sonís birthday and they arrived with presents for all the family from their trip. We presented my brother with his gift of $30 from my husband and I and my sister gave him the same from her husband and her.

Now apparently her issue is that we didnít get her anything and everyone in the family had a gift to open but her. Before she came along my brother used to give me and my husband $30 each for our birthdays and now she has come along its $30 from both her and my brother. i think that if she wants something for her birthday then she should give us $30 each as well, after all she isnít family. So I donít think she deserves anything for her birthday unless she is willing to give us the $30 she owes us for our birthdays otherwise she has no right to Female Dog. Am I right in thinking she is just being greedy?

She often talks of this website so Iím hoping she sees this.   0813-14

Sheís your brotherís common law wife and therefore your common law sister-in-law which you recognize by referring to her as ďsister-in-lawĒ.   You have little nieces or nephews by her and your brother.  The only thing not making her a member of your family is a marriage license and your pathetically petty little heart.

She OWES you and your sister a birthday gift?  Newsflash OPÖ one owes you anything for your birthday. I canít believe you actually used the word ďdeservesĒ to describe an obligation to give a birthday gift.  And Iím giving your SIL a pass because 1) the family custom is for family member and spouse (you, your sister and your husbands) to give a combined monetary gift of $30 from each couple and your SIL was simply following family custom when you received $30 from your brother and SIL on your birthdays; and 2) your SIL and brother showed up with presents for everyone which tells me they invested some time on their trip thinking of each family member and buying a gift.  You insult their kindness with a petty demand for an extra $30 on your birthday and a miserly heart about giving.

And the worst part of this is that family unity and harmony have been sacrificed on the altar of moneyÖ.a mere $30.00.  Is the bitterness, animosity, hard feelings, estrangement from your brother, divisiveness, family drama all worth$30.00?

I'm so confused about the $30.  This same type of gift giving is done with my DH's side of the family.  Right down to the penny.  I get a call every year before Christmas from one of my BIL's wives to ask what I'm giving/how much it cost or how much money I'll be giving to the nieces and nephews. Then I'm basically told to just give them money as they are saving up for something special to buy.   A range would be fine but it becomes an equal exchange of cash.  The kids are all teens and love getting the cash, so I just go with it - but to me it feels more like a cover charge on the day than a gift gladly given.  For my own joy, I make something (a pillow, batch of cookies, etc.) for each kid to go along with the money. 

Just a heads up, we probably ought to take this discussion to the blog; AFAIK, admin doesn't want us discussing blog posts on the forum anymore.

Another Sarah:

--- Quote from: Yvaine on August 13, 2014, 08:42:52 AM ---Just a heads up, we probably ought to take this discussion to the blog; AFAIK, admin doesn't want us discussing blog posts on the forum anymore.

--- End quote ---
Sorry, I didn't know this. Thanks for telling me!  :)


[0] Message Index

Go to full version