Author Topic: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"  (Read 6038 times)

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magicdomino

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2014, 03:00:38 PM »

"Nope, apparently he doesn't love me. I guess my sister loves me, but not HIM."


I have to admit, I'd answer with a chirpy, cheerful version of this, and a dramatic emphasis of the HIM.  But I tend to be a little obnoxious that way. 

I like Morgnsgrl suggestion, too.  But a cheerful, slightly absent-minded "No." is fine.

Perfect Circle

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2014, 03:01:34 PM »
I guess I really don't understand why this question is so offensive. I've been asked the same thing:

"Oh, are those from your husband?"

"No, from my parents.  :)"

That it would be translated into a jab about how much someone does/does not love you is bewildering to me.

I agree - I see nothing offensive about the question and I don't understand what would be wrong with answering it honestly.
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stargazer

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2014, 03:02:40 PM »
I guess I really don't understand why this question is so offensive. I've been asked the same thing:

"Oh, are those from your husband?"

"No, from my parents.  :)"

That it would be translated into a jab about how much someone does/does not love you is bewildering to me.

Completely agree with all of this.   

Raintree

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #18 on: August 14, 2014, 03:13:21 PM »
I guess I really don't understand why this question is so offensive. I've been asked the same thing:

"Oh, are those from your husband?"

"No, from my parents.  :)"

That it would be translated into a jab about how much someone does/does not love you is bewildering to me.


I think it's the gushing nature of it (as implied by the OP's use of emphasis and "Ooh!!")

A mere question, fine. I guess I'm not a big fan of people gushing over what my SO might have given me or done for me. If they showed an equal interest in finding out what my mother gave me for my birthday, I think it wouldn't be so annoying.



JenJay

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2014, 03:21:08 PM »
Welcome!

Why is it that the flowers being from your sister has to mean your SO doesn't love you? I'd have a big smile and cheerfully say "Nope, they're from my sister, just like last year!"

Zizi-K

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #20 on: August 14, 2014, 03:24:35 PM »
I'm sure this coworker is annoying, but I agree with the PPs that this doesn't seem like such a terrible question. If I were in that position, I would just say, "No they're from my sister. Isn't that sweet of her??" It would really not occur to me that the implication was that my SO didn't love me or my relationship was lacking in some way.

I have noticed in myself that when innocuous-seeming question start to really bother me, it's because I am feeling insecure in that particular area. However, since I am married (and have been for almost 7 years), a question about whether my husband or someone else sent me flowers would not bother me in the least. I also personally don't care when people ask about my husband's and my reproductive plan. I'm not bothered by the fact that we don't have children yet, so I'll just answer people without being bothered/annoyed by their questioning. But the minute someone brings up exercise, diets, if they complain about their own weight, etc - I immediately start to tense up, even if it's not directed at me. Because that's what I'm slightly hung up about.

OP, is this something you relate to, or does your annoyance have mostly to do with the source?

peaches

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2014, 03:36:54 PM »
It isn't a terrible question. But you still don't have to answer it if you don't want to.

"It's from an admirer."  Your sister does admire you, I'm sure.  :)

I also don't mind saying "It's a secret." Meaning, "It's a secret from you."


rose red

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2014, 03:57:46 PM »
First, stop being embarrassed they are not from *him.* There's no reason for it. Be proud and happy they are from your sister and confidently look her in the eye and say "They are from my sister."

I wouldn't answer with anything clever. That just fuels the fire (and gossip).

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #23 on: August 14, 2014, 04:39:08 PM »
I have worked with some people from whom the question would not mean anything, but I have also worked with a few people from whom it felt like I was about to open a can of intrusive, nosy questions that would make me feel judged as somehow lacking.  With the latter kind of person, just say, "No," and change the subject noticeably.  It will drive them crazy.
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Frostblooded

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #24 on: August 14, 2014, 06:16:49 PM »
Maybe next time have them print out this picture to attach, so you can say "yes."



Surianne

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #25 on: August 14, 2014, 06:18:00 PM »
I think that if you don't want your personal life in the office (which is completely reasonable), it's probably best to have birthday flowers delivered to your home, instead. 

Flower delivery is a pretty big attention-getter and I think it's only natural that if your coworkers see you're comfortable with that, they'd assume you'd also enjoy talking about the person who sent the flowers.  I'd assume you really liked and wanted the attention from coworkers if I saw flowers delivered to you at work, so I don't think your coworker was out of line with her question at all. 

But for this time, yes, I agree with the other posters -- answering the question honestly is just fine! 

lollylegs

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #26 on: August 14, 2014, 06:56:58 PM »
I also don't see why the question is offensive or controversial. I think we buy ourselves a lot of heartache unnecessarily assigning malicious motives to othe people's actions. Just give the obvious answer - no, they're from my sister - and wait until co-workers reaction is condescending or judgmental before you worry about how to deal with that.

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #27 on: August 14, 2014, 07:11:04 PM »
Wonder if this might shut her up:

--- Ooh! Are those from HIM?!
--- No. They're from HER!

^^ This  >:D

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Winterlight

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #28 on: August 14, 2014, 07:32:15 PM »
I guess I really don't understand why this question is so offensive. I've been asked the same thing:

"Oh, are those from your husband?"

"No, from my parents.  :)"

That it would be translated into a jab about how much someone does/does not love you is bewildering to me.

This. I'd just answer it straight and not worry about who's thinking what.
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violinp

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Re: "Ooh! Are those from HIM?!"
« Reply #29 on: August 14, 2014, 09:47:09 PM »
Maybe next time have them print out this picture to attach, so you can say "yes."



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