Author Topic: Rude to ask again?  (Read 2155 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Paws

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 39
Rude to ask again?
« on: September 18, 2014, 03:04:38 AM »
I have a co-worker who frequently asks me for information on certain job processes.  Not a problem, I'm happy to
help, I've been at this job for a while so I usually know what she needs; if I don't know I say so and suggest another co-worker who might be more familiar with that area or an on-line resource that might have the answer.

So what's the problem?  She'll ask for, say the billing code for widgets, I'll tell her it's code 123, and then not two minutes
later she'll turn around and ask someone else the very same question, as if to try and validate my answer.  Does this seem rude to you?  It has begun to irritate me.  If she doesn't  trust my answer enough, then why bother asking me in the first place? 
 
I think what bothers me too is that she could actually validate the answer herself by applying code 123 and see if it comes up as widgets (about a five second process and easily reversible if it wasn't the right code) --but she's not one to "experiment" [for lack of a better word] with anything to do with the computer; she wants to be told how it's done and not have to fiddle around with anything.  Which okay, I get, but still, it's not like it's surgery or something where you'd be wise to get a second opinion first before proceeding!

And if she does legitimately doubt my information for any reason (also fine, I'm not infallible), I guess I would appreciate that feedback directly.   "You know, I'm pretty sure code 123 is for gewgaws, not widgets, can you double check?" This actually benefits me also when I do double check and find out lo and behold widgets are actually code 132 instead.  (I would find this out indirectly anyway if I overhear the person she's re-asked answer, but I may not always hear their answer).  I find have learned more by making mistakes and having to fix them (ha) so do not mind and in fact appreciate being corrected; I don't know if she thinks it is rude to question my answer?   Asking someone else the same question over again, in my hearing, without any discussion with me seems ruder to me.

What does ehell think?  Is it rude?  Worth addressing?  If so how would you approach that?









Cherry91

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 664
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2014, 05:22:35 AM »
It's entirely possible your coworker is a tad forgetful, and not wanting to make it look like she wasn't listening, she asks someone else instead of bothering you again.

I can be like this sometimes. If I've got loads of info whizzing around my head, I get blindsided by a sudden thought and then go "Wait, what was the code again? Ah shoot!"

I know it's less doable for more complex stuff, but maybe you can write down codes/instructions and see what happens then?

Lauds

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 368
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2014, 05:37:27 AM »
I'm assuming this information is written down somewhere, so when she asks your reply should be "let me show you where to find that". Every time. Might not stop her asking more than one person but it'll probably stop her asking you. And you never know, she might start using the resource you show her and stop asking anyone.

But to answer you're question about rudeness - I think given how quickly she asks again, yes.

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12371
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2014, 09:25:27 AM »
"The code is 123.  By the way, I notice that you often go ask someone else the same question. Are you taking a poll?  :)"

starry diadem

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 440
  • διάδημα: The Glass Hat
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2014, 09:38:13 AM »
"The code is 123.  By the way, I notice that you often go ask someone else the same question. Are you taking a poll?  :)"

Where is the LIKE button when you need it?
Mysterious ravens go after local farmer's potatoes


Lynn2000

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5256
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2014, 10:19:10 AM »
I know what you mean. Having been at this job a while, and being willing to "experiment" with stuff on the computer, I often get asked questions by people who are less willing to experiment--they just want to know what exact button to push, or exactly how to do something. I don't think that's necessarily bad, it's more of a different mindset, as I'm sure there are things they're better with that I don't like, like some of the hands-on stuff we do. But sometimes it's difficult because the answer is, there is no step-by-step way to do this, you have to look at your data and decide what methods are best for it. And people often don't like that answer, and will keep coming back to ask me the same thing in different ways, trying to get a different answer.

As a generally helpful person, I have to make sure that I don't get taken advantage of and start to resent helping people. So one of my rules is, I try really hard to not get out of my chair. Because people always want me to get up and come to their computer and see what's going on, and then fix it for them; so I stay firmly seated and make them describe the problem, then I give them a suggestion for it. That way the actual application of the solution is up to them, and if it doesn't work they have to get up and come get me again, which might encourage them to figure it out on their own instead.

Plus, having to explain it to me verbally forces them to observe the problem better, which can help suggest solutions. Like, one of the interns came up to me and said she was having trouble with this Excel file because it looked "weird." That's all she kept saying, it looks weird. I wouldn't get out of my seat to look, so finally she was forced to explain what she was seeing, and it turned out to be something very simple--like you have to "paste special" instead of just paste, to avoid wonky formatting. So she learned about a new function in Excel, instead of getting me to just fix it for her.

And, I do find myself saying things like, "I think there's a protocol for that. Did you check in the XYZ binder?" or, "You know, I think you can look that up at the ABC website." Okay, probably if it was a short answer I knew off the top of my head I would just say it, but if *I* would be looking it up to answer, they might as well look it up. Or if they ask me the same question twice, I'll say, "You've asked that before; why don't you write yourself a note about it, so you can just look at it later?" I don't think it's being unhelpful or unfriendly to encourage people to find answers themselves, and take ownership of information they need (like by making their own notes). I think it's actually a really good skill to learn for the long-term.

Finally, a relevant story. :) I was working as an intern at a lab and had been there about six months. We got a new intern who was rather a know-it-all, despite not having any experience in this field. But obviously her opinion/thoughts on a subject were the more correct and logical, and thus should be universal. ::) She was washing dishes one day and got frustrated because this big crate we kept in the sink was getting in her way. She said to me, "Why do we have this crate here?" I said, "It's to hold the bin where we wash small stuff. I don't think we're supposed to move it." She clearly didn't like this answer, and when our supervisor walked into the room a moment later, she asked her, right in front of me, "Why do we have this crate here?" To which the supervisor replied, "It's to hold the bin where we wash small stuff. Don't move it."  :D
~Lynn2000

twoferrets

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 60
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2014, 11:20:20 AM »
Oh gosh. My Annoying Coworker does this all the time.

 :-* "Twoferrets, how do I log the growth radius of an untamed widget?"

 :) "Turn left, clap twice, and hit enter, then notify the widget queen."

 :-* "Oh, ok.  Because I wasn't sure if I should turn left."

 :) "Yeah, definitely left."

 :-* "Ok, because you know sometimes we turn right."

  :-\ "No, left is correct. Right is only for tamed widgets."

 :-* "Ok, I just want to make sure, because we don't always turn left."

 >:( "It's definitely left."

 :-* emails entire team and several unrelated parties to confirm accuracy of my answer


amylouky

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1563
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2014, 11:28:13 AM »
That sort of thing annoys me to no end. I would probably deal with it one of two ways.. either use humor and when CW asks the other person, jokingly say, "What.. you didn't like my answer?"  or (if I was feeling grumpier) I just wouldn't answer the first time. I'd probably say something like, "You know.. you always ask someone else anyway so why don't we just skip the step of asking me?".

lowspark

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3999
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2014, 11:43:02 AM »
I'm assuming this information is written down somewhere, so when she asks your reply should be "let me show you where to find that". Every time. Might not stop her asking more than one person but it'll probably stop her asking you. And you never know, she might start using the resource you show her and stop asking anyone.

But to answer you're question about rudeness - I think given how quickly she asks again, yes.

POD to this. Quit giving her the answer and instead, tell her where to find it herself.

She still might ask someone else, and if it's in your earshot, I think it's perfectly fine to say, "Coworker, didn't I just answer that question for you? Why are you asking someone else the very same question?" In other words, I'd put her on the spot to justify her actions. I don't see anything wrong with doing that.

SoCalVal

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2479
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2014, 03:46:58 PM »
Finally, a relevant story. :) I was working as an intern at a lab and had been there about six months. We got a new intern who was rather a know-it-all, despite not having any experience in this field. But obviously her opinion/thoughts on a subject were the more correct and logical, and thus should be universal. ::) She was washing dishes one day and got frustrated because this big crate we kept in the sink was getting in her way. She said to me, "Why do we have this crate here?" I said, "It's to hold the bin where we wash small stuff. I don't think we're supposed to move it." She clearly didn't like this answer, and when our supervisor walked into the room a moment later, she asked her, right in front of me, "Why do we have this crate here?" To which the supervisor replied, "It's to hold the bin where we wash small stuff. Don't move it."  :D

I don't think I would've resisted the urge to say "That's exactly what I told her a moment ago."



artk2002

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12945
    • The Delian's Commonwealth
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2014, 05:14:44 PM »
Stop answering her questions and point her to wherever she can look it up. You're not helping her.

And yes, she's being rude by obviously asking the same question of someone else in your hearing.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

CrazyDaffodilLady

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1260
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2014, 05:30:49 PM »
She expects other people to do her job for her, she wasting people's time, and she's being blatantly disrespectful.  I wouldn't answer her questions any more.  I've tried to think of a way you could shut her down without being snippy, but it's beyond my ehell-approved skills at this point. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Peppergirl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 406
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2014, 08:09:43 PM »
She expects other people to do her job for her, she wasting people's time, and she's being blatantly disrespectful.  I wouldn't answer her questions any more.  I've tried to think of a way you could shut her down without being snippy, but it's beyond my ehell-approved skills at this point.

So much POD to this, particularly the part I bolded.  It's a huge peeve of mine, and I have been known to utter non e-hell approved things toward people when they do this to me.  >:(

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2491
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2014, 01:36:10 AM »
One of my ex-boyfriends (one of many reasons why he is an ex) used to do this, where I would answer a question he had and then he would ask someone else the same question right in front of me, and it would be like he hadn't heard a word I said.  I told him exactly how offended I was about it.  I'm not sure he stopped getting a second opinion, but he certainly stopped doing it right in front of me.

Phoebe

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 996
Re: Rude to ask again?
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2014, 02:23:11 PM »
I worked with a woman like this years ago.  She routinely came to me to ask her questions as she'd burned her bridges with just about everyone else.  We all worked in a very large room, no cubes, only desks.  One day I was at one end of the room, she was standing in the center and called over to me to ask a question.  I gave her the answer, she immediately does a half-turn and yells over to someone else, "I just asked Phoebe about XXX...she told me YYY...is that right??" as if I couldn't possibly know what I was talking about.  After that I told her not to bother asking me anything anymore.  My boss backed me up.  This woman was a real ditz, there are a gazillion other stories about her.