Author Topic: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza--final update p. 20  (Read 67087 times)

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melicious

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #60 on: August 26, 2014, 01:20:17 PM »
Would I notice no cookies when I showed up later than everyone else? Probabaly, and I'd note that I didn't get there early enough; but a snack is a far cry from an entire meal (pizza). That I would notice because that is a substantial amount of food. I see nothing off about noticing that someone has taken my share of a substantial gift and is giving it to someone for whom it was not meant.

Especially when it's several boxes. That's kinda hard to miss.

Goosey

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #61 on: August 26, 2014, 01:23:13 PM »
You don't consider it poor etiquette to take more than your share? To take home food meant for employees for your family? Especially when you're in a position that pays more than the employees from whom it's being taken?

Especially if the food is bought on the company dime. Unless it's the owner taking a greater share of the food (then he's being a bad host), that's stealing.

TurtleDove

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #62 on: August 26, 2014, 01:23:52 PM »
Because it's right in front of you? Because you see that other people are going to get some and none are available. I mean, considering the tales here, it would be baffling if you were so, shall we say, introspective that you didn't notice the issues people around you were having accessing an offered meal. And you are also being rather insulting to people who DO notice. It's great that you wouldn't notice or care that people are hoarding cookies. But I do - because it's rude. And I want a cookie.

Yes, I know about your extensive exercise routine and calorie intake. You also tend to jump into threads about people being disappointed by some aspect of a meal or lack thereof by saying you don't understand why food is so important to people. It's really not helpful or productive to constantly point out you think people have an unhealthy relationship with food because they would like to eat some and are disappointed when they don't.

I would appreciate it if you tone down your comments toward me.  That said, at what point is does it go from impolite to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating to bafflingly introspective to not notice what other people are or are not putting onto their plates and into their mouths? You are free to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating.  It is not something I choose to do.  As I said upthread, if I noticed someone taking more than their share at the exact same time I wanted my share I would say something - for myself.  I would not presume to otherwise notice or comment on what people are or are not eating.  And if I want a cookie, or a piece of pizza (or 5), and the free offerings are gone, I will buy it myself.  :)

Lynn2000

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #63 on: August 26, 2014, 01:26:58 PM »
I do know that observations differ about meals. For example, I had a pizza thread a long time ago, where I was mad at people in the office loading up their plates with more than their share of pizza when others had yet to get a chance at it. For me, it's not difficult to look at the available food and mentally divide it by the number of people present, so I know what my share is or at least where I should start.

Two pizzas x 8 pieces each = 16 pieces, with 8 people I should take no more than 2 slices unless there are substantial leftovers, and I'm going to start with just 1 slice at a time. To me that seems pretty basic. But, your brain has to work that way, and you have to stop and think about it. It could be one of those things like how some people always know which way is west and I have no clue about that, so if anyone gives me directions involving compass points I'm completely lost.

Would I go around the office counting up how many cookies each person was stockpiling at their desk? No. But if we're all gathered there when the food is presented, I figure out how much I think *I* should take, to police myself, and then it's easy to notice if someone else is taking a lot more than that. 7 cookies instead of 2, for example, grabbed all at once before other people have even gotten to the cookies (we have to do a single-file line because our break room is small). Sometimes people even announce what they're doing: "I'm going to be a little piggy and take more!" Ooookay then. But I have to admit that I don't usually say or do anything about it at the time, I just remember it for the future (and EHell).
~Lynn2000

Yvaine

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #64 on: August 26, 2014, 01:29:55 PM »
I do know that observations differ about meals. For example, I had a pizza thread a long time ago, where I was mad at people in the office loading up their plates with more than their share of pizza when others had yet to get a chance at it. For me, it's not difficult to look at the available food and mentally divide it by the number of people present, so I know what my share is or at least where I should start.

Two pizzas x 8 pieces each = 16 pieces, with 8 people I should take no more than 2 slices unless there are substantial leftovers, and I'm going to start with just 1 slice at a time. To me that seems pretty basic. But, your brain has to work that way, and you have to stop and think about it. It could be one of those things like how some people always know which way is west and I have no clue about that, so if anyone gives me directions involving compass points I'm completely lost.

I always chalk it up from being from a big family.  ;D I'm not actually great at regular math, but I can mentally divide food in a flash!

Goosey

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #65 on: August 26, 2014, 01:30:05 PM »
Because it's right in front of you? Because you see that other people are going to get some and none are available. I mean, considering the tales here, it would be baffling if you were so, shall we say, introspective that you didn't notice the issues people around you were having accessing an offered meal. And you are also being rather insulting to people who DO notice. It's great that you wouldn't notice or care that people are hoarding cookies. But I do - because it's rude. And I want a cookie.

Yes, I know about your extensive exercise routine and calorie intake. You also tend to jump into threads about people being disappointed by some aspect of a meal or lack thereof by saying you don't understand why food is so important to people. It's really not helpful or productive to constantly point out you think people have an unhealthy relationship with food because they would like to eat some and are disappointed when they don't.

I would appreciate it if you tone down your comments toward me.  That said, at what point is does it go from impolite to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating to bafflingly introspective to not notice what other people are or are not putting onto their plates and into their mouths? You are free to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating.  It is not something I choose to do.  As I said upthread, if I noticed someone taking more than their share at the exact same time I wanted my share I would say something - for myself.  I would not presume to otherwise notice or comment on what people are or are not eating.  And if I want a cookie, or a piece of pizza (or 5), and the free offerings are gone, I will buy it myself.  :)

I'm not angry, just making an observation about your tone towards people's relationship with food. Often we don't notice trends in our own posting and I think a review of your would display many such comments in many similar threads and many such refuting statements leading to an unproductive conversation about whether or not it's okay to be emotional about something relating to food.

As to the rest of your statement, I tend to notice more when other people are disappointed in not being able to eat. I think that's natural to notice. I think concern for others and, yes, myself and disappointed is natural and healthy and good. I also think it's natural and healthy and good to stand up for others when their fair share is being pilfered. You're making a point of "not noticing." Fine. But that doesn't mean that taking more than your share is not rude to others who would like to partake. And that's what this thread is really about. YMMV.

edited: partake/part take - it bothered me lol
« Last Edit: August 26, 2014, 02:04:30 PM by Goosey »

amylouky

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #66 on: August 26, 2014, 01:31:15 PM »
I think there's a difference between "realtime" food hogging, and leftover food hogging.
If we have a company lunch and someone takes way more than their share, then yes, I think it is rude, as it would leave others without enough food. Leftovers, at least the way they are at my office, are fair game for anyone. Generally there will be a message sent out that they are available. If you get some, great, if not..  too bad.
That being said, I do think it's horribly rude to take any kind of food, whether realtime or leftover, home to feed your family. That is not who it is meant for. And also, food that has been sitting there for 15 minutes (or an hour, even) is not leftover, as it's entirely possible someone else hasn't gotten any yet.

EMuir

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #67 on: August 26, 2014, 01:37:08 PM »
Because it's right in front of you? Because you see that other people are going to get some and none are available. I mean, considering the tales here, it would be baffling if you were so, shall we say, introspective that you didn't notice the issues people around you were having accessing an offered meal. And you are also being rather insulting to people who DO notice. It's great that you wouldn't notice or care that people are hoarding cookies. But I do - because it's rude. And I want a cookie.

Yes, I know about your extensive exercise routine and calorie intake. You also tend to jump into threads about people being disappointed by some aspect of a meal or lack thereof by saying you don't understand why food is so important to people. It's really not helpful or productive to constantly point out you think people have an unhealthy relationship with food because they would like to eat some and are disappointed when they don't.

I would appreciate it if you tone down your comments toward me.  That said, at what point is does it go from impolite to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating to bafflingly introspective to not notice what other people are or are not putting onto their plates and into their mouths? You are free to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating.  It is not something I choose to do.  As I said upthread, if I noticed someone taking more than their share at the exact same time I wanted my share I would say something - for myself.  I would not presume to otherwise notice or comment on what people are or are not eating.  And if I want a cookie, or a piece of pizza (or 5), and the free offerings are gone, I will buy it myself.  :)

I think you are speaking from a place of privilege and perhaps don't realize it.

What if you were depending on the pizza to be your lunch? You get there on time and no pizza. You have a half hour lunch, or even an hour. How do you get lunch? Maybe there's no cafe nearby. If you want pizza, you now have to order one yourself, which includes delivery time and tip and probably costs more because you can't order just two slices. And will it get there in time for you to eat it? If so, do you have the money to afford it? After all that, you have to put the remainder in the fridge, where people might assume it's left over from the free lunch and eat it. So now you've paid $20+ for a free pizza lunch. It's easier and cheaper to just buy a snack from a machine, if those are even available... but it doesn't make you feel better about having missed pizza.

melicious

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #68 on: August 26, 2014, 01:41:18 PM »
Because it's right in front of you? Because you see that other people are going to get some and none are available. I mean, considering the tales here, it would be baffling if you were so, shall we say, introspective that you didn't notice the issues people around you were having accessing an offered meal. And you are also being rather insulting to people who DO notice. It's great that you wouldn't notice or care that people are hoarding cookies. But I do - because it's rude. And I want a cookie.

Yes, I know about your extensive exercise routine and calorie intake. You also tend to jump into threads about people being disappointed by some aspect of a meal or lack thereof by saying you don't understand why food is so important to people. It's really not helpful or productive to constantly point out you think people have an unhealthy relationship with food because they would like to eat some and are disappointed when they don't.

I would appreciate it if you tone down your comments toward me.  That said, at what point is does it go from impolite to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating to bafflingly introspective to not notice what other people are or are not putting onto their plates and into their mouths? You are free to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating.  It is not something I choose to do.  As I said upthread, if I noticed someone taking more than their share at the exact same time I wanted my share I would say something - for myself.  I would not presume to otherwise notice or comment on what people are or are not eating.  And if I want a cookie, or a piece of pizza (or 5), and the free offerings are gone, I will buy it myself.  :)

So you think it's acceptable etiquette to take advantage of free food before considering that maybe not everyone else has gotten their fair share?
« Last Edit: August 26, 2014, 01:42:56 PM by melicious »

Yvaine

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #69 on: August 26, 2014, 01:43:17 PM »
Fine. But that doesn't mean that taking more than your share is not rude to others who would like to part take. And that's what this thread is really about. YMMV.

This. And a large percentage of the time, you can substitute something else for food and still have the same etiquette principle at work. We have a lot of questions about food because it's something all of us deal with every day, and often share with other people, and so you run into people's different behaviors and assumptions about it. But a lot of etiquette applies to food the same way it would apply to other items.

As an example, a few years ago, we had a thread where somebody cut up and gave away someone else's gift cake before the giftee had even had a bite. The giftee was upset, and a few posters chalked that up to an "unhealthy relationship with food," but IMO, you could make it a new sweater instead and have the same question. Should the other woman destroy and give away her friend's gift sweater before she's ever even worn it? Of course not, and I think almost everyone would understand why she was sad, and it doesn't require her to have an unhealthy relationship with sweaters.

And when it is food, EMuir is correct, a lot of times--and in a lot of jobs--you don't have time to get a different lunch. No, nobody's "entitled" to free food, but once the company has promised it, I think it's fair to assume it will be there and factor it into your day. Especially if it's meant to be a "working lunch."

wolfie

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #70 on: August 26, 2014, 01:45:36 PM »
And in this case it was meant as a thank you for working hard over a weekend. SO you get the blues from not getting to enjoy the weekend with the added insult that someone else took your thank you from you too. Doesn't exactly boost morale.

melicious

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #71 on: August 26, 2014, 01:47:27 PM »
Fine. But that doesn't mean that taking more than your share is not rude to others who would like to part take. And that's what this thread is really about. YMMV.
And when it is food, EMuir is correct, a lot of times--and in a lot of jobs--you don't have time to get a different lunch. No, nobody's "entitled" to free food, but once the company has promised it, I think it's fair to assume it will be there and factor it into your day. Especially if it's meant to be a "working lunch."

And it's funny that there's the sentiment that "no one is entitled to free food" when the complainant is asking for their fair share, but perfectly okay when a higher up takes enough for their entire family.  ::)

TurtleDove

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #72 on: August 26, 2014, 01:47:45 PM »
Because it's right in front of you? Because you see that other people are going to get some and none are available. I mean, considering the tales here, it would be baffling if you were so, shall we say, introspective that you didn't notice the issues people around you were having accessing an offered meal. And you are also being rather insulting to people who DO notice. It's great that you wouldn't notice or care that people are hoarding cookies. But I do - because it's rude. And I want a cookie.

Yes, I know about your extensive exercise routine and calorie intake. You also tend to jump into threads about people being disappointed by some aspect of a meal or lack thereof by saying you don't understand why food is so important to people. It's really not helpful or productive to constantly point out you think people have an unhealthy relationship with food because they would like to eat some and are disappointed when they don't.

I would appreciate it if you tone down your comments toward me.  That said, at what point is does it go from impolite to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating to bafflingly introspective to not notice what other people are or are not putting onto their plates and into their mouths? You are free to notice and comment on what other people are or are not eating.  It is not something I choose to do.  As I said upthread, if I noticed someone taking more than their share at the exact same time I wanted my share I would say something - for myself.  I would not presume to otherwise notice or comment on what people are or are not eating.  And if I want a cookie, or a piece of pizza (or 5), and the free offerings are gone, I will buy it myself.  :)

So you think it's acceptable etiquette to take advantage of free food before considering that maybe not everyone else has gotten their fair share?

Nope - not at all, and not at all what I said.  I said I would not personally notice what other people did or did not eat unless I were right there and they were preventing me from taking my share, at which point I would say something.

TurtleDove

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #73 on: August 26, 2014, 01:49:44 PM »
Fine. But that doesn't mean that taking more than your share is not rude to others who would like to part take. And that's what this thread is really about. YMMV.
And when it is food, EMuir is correct, a lot of times--and in a lot of jobs--you don't have time to get a different lunch. No, nobody's "entitled" to free food, but once the company has promised it, I think it's fair to assume it will be there and factor it into your day. Especially if it's meant to be a "working lunch."

And it's funny that there's the sentiment that "no one is entitled to free food" when the complainant is asking for their fair share, but perfectly okay when a higher up takes enough for their entire family.  ::)

Of course that is weird and rude.  I simply would not likely ever notice.  And I wouldn't be upset about not getting something for free.  Clearly not everyone agrees and that is fine. 

melicious

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Re: Oh, dear, someone stole the thief's pizza
« Reply #74 on: August 26, 2014, 01:53:31 PM »
Fine. But that doesn't mean that taking more than your share is not rude to others who would like to part take. And that's what this thread is really about. YMMV.
And when it is food, EMuir is correct, a lot of times--and in a lot of jobs--you don't have time to get a different lunch. No, nobody's "entitled" to free food, but once the company has promised it, I think it's fair to assume it will be there and factor it into your day. Especially if it's meant to be a "working lunch."

And it's funny that there's the sentiment that "no one is entitled to free food" when the complainant is asking for their fair share, but perfectly okay when a higher up takes enough for their entire family.  ::)

Of course that is weird and rude.  I simply would not likely ever notice.  And I wouldn't be upset about not getting something for free.  Clearly not everyone agrees and that is fine.

I think the reason why a few posters are upset with what you are saying because you're coming off as though the people who have an issue with it are being petty and trivial. Maybe you don't intend to, and if not, I apologize for assuming as much, but that's the vibe I'm personally getting. Is it not a valid etiquette issue?