News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 22, 2017, 08:22:04 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Saw off creeper with variation of this  (Read 15749 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

English1

  • Member
  • Posts: 410
Saw off creeper with variation of this
« on: August 26, 2014, 03:30:44 AM »
Thank you EHellers. I handled a situation at the weekend using a variation of this and I'm so proud of myself for remembering it.

With OH's parents, we all went out to something at one of their friend's houses. Close group who have known each other for years.

Man and wife arrived. I noticed man giving a big old 'man hug' that was full body contact to all the other women to say hello. A little more than just a normal hug, if you know what I mean. Made me feel quite squirmy - some seemed to recipricate but others looked a little uncomfortable with it. That whole 'can't make a scene/fuss so put up with it thing'.

They came over to us and he greeted my OH, then launched at me but I was ready and stuck an arm out stiffly to shake his hand. He sort of brushed it away and laughed and said 'oh we don't shake hands here, we hug,' and came back in for (creepy) hug. I took a massive step backwards, gave him a steely look and said 'that's not happening'.

He stopped, blustered a bit, but went away and ignored me for the rest of the evening. 

I know in the past I'd have endured it out of embarrassment but EH has given me a spine. ;D

Bethalize

  • Member
  • Posts: 4801
    • Toxic People Survival Checklist
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2014, 03:54:41 AM »
Good for you! I bet other women are taking  note and wishing they had done that. I also think they'll be following your example in future.

kategillian

  • Member
  • Posts: 294
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2014, 07:08:30 AM »
Wow! Good for you! These creepers need to be shut down.

TootsNYC

  • Member
  • Posts: 33792
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2014, 07:10:47 AM »
Nicely done!

alice

  • Member
  • Posts: 323
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2014, 11:10:09 AM »
great job!!

lakey

  • Member
  • Posts: 967
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2014, 11:26:36 AM »
Some people just refuse to take hints don't they.

JoieGirl7

  • Member
  • Posts: 7908
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2014, 11:51:12 AM »
Was he only hugging the women and not the men?

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

  • Member
  • Posts: 3674
  • Aussie's Rule
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2014, 11:57:02 AM »
Was he only hugging the women and not the men?

Good Question. Was He only Hugging the Women ?

Well Done standing up for yourslef :D

                          The Southern Cross Flag. Australia

Auntie Mame

  • Member
  • Posts: 1502
  • Live! Live! LIVE!
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2014, 06:47:13 PM »
Bravo! Well Done!
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

gramma dishes

  • Member
  • Posts: 7330
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2014, 07:55:33 PM »
... and all the women at the party retreated to private corners where they were seen sneaking out tiny notebooks and pens from their purses and frantically writing:

1.)  Hold out arm for handshake.
2.)  Take big step backwards.
3.)  Say the words "It's not happening."



Expect Thank You notes tomorrow!   ;D

English1

  • Member
  • Posts: 410
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2014, 03:48:05 AM »
Yes, he was only hugging the women.

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

  • Member
  • Posts: 3674
  • Aussie's Rule
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2014, 03:57:06 AM »
Yes, he was only hugging the women.

I think I would have said that out loud. Hey why are you only Hugging Ladies then
O.o

                          The Southern Cross Flag. Australia

Cherry91

  • Member
  • Posts: 611
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2014, 05:29:32 AM »
Ugh, I hate the entitlement of some people. "I'm going to touch you even if it makes you uncomfortable, and if you try to resist I'll shame you into it"

Well done for refusing to play along
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

Auntie Mame

  • Member
  • Posts: 1502
  • Live! Live! LIVE!
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #13 on: August 27, 2014, 10:28:03 AM »
Yes, he was only hugging the women.

Creeper and misogynist, what a charmer
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

shortstuff

  • Member
  • Posts: 423
Re: Saw off creeper with variation of this
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2014, 07:25:29 PM »
This thread made me realize *why* I like this so much.  It's kind enough to give the recipient the benefit of the doubt, and still leaves little to no room for argument.  But it took this scenario of a man being too "huggy" with the women to make think of something else.  It's not "I'm sorry, that won't be possible."  Because that would put a woman into the position of apologizing to a man for not wanting to be touched.  No one should apologize for that, or for even living their boundaries. 

OP, I'm glad you were able to so assertively stand up for yourself, and I'm so glad this site gives us these phrases to use :)