How stupid is he?

[Gambitgirl]

A guy I have been friends with for a long time  and I tried to date about a month or so ago and it fell apart. We've always had alot of sexual tension btw us but never acted on it. It fell apart b/c he said all the right things but was all talk about how he wanted to be with me and no walk, never making a move and acting distant on dates. I got tired of the mixed signals and said I knew what I wanted and it was a guy who clearly showed that he wanted me. So it crumbled, but we're still friends b/c we didn't get into dating too deep for it to foil the friendship (no sex, yay for waiting!) and we've know each other for 15 years. But I'm still irked he pulled that crap, after saying forever he wanted to be with me, but when it was "go time" and i was all on board he jumped ship.

Anywho, we're talking on IM the other day and he asked me "i got a number from a girl i met in a bar last night. how long do you think i should wait before i call her?"

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong pause...then i say:

"What the heck are you doing asking me for advice on how to bag another woman? i have zero interest in giving you dating advice, although god knows you need it."

him: "if you were my friend you shouldn't be bothered by this."

me: "and if you were my friend you'd realize how rude it is to ask the woman you stopped dating only a few weeks ago for advice on how to get into another gal's pants."

i have told him in the past i don't want to hear about his dating exploits (they make me jealous), and he respected my request, but then he does this. he also expresses jealousy if he hears me mention another man, so i don't do it.

my question is...was he completely a bonehead or was i being overly sensitive? i think he was testing my jealousy waters, which is so lame.

*edited to replace a censor tagged abbreviation with the more appropriate phrase "what the heck"*

[Shoo]

I vote for bonehead.

[LB]

It sounds to me like he was trying to make you jealous.

[jais]

He's a complete moron.  BF used to do this when we were 'just friends'.  Even he admits he was stupid.   

[Gambitgirl]

It sounds to me like he was trying to make you jealous.

i think so too. funny thing, i wasn't jealous...just annoyed at how disrespectful he was of my feelings by pulling that. i doubt he even met a girl. dude really could use some dating advice b/c he's a social dork when it comes to the ladies, but i'm not gonna help him annoy some other poor woman.

[jais]

It sounds to me like he was trying to make you jealous.

i think so too. funny thing, i wasn't jealous...just annoyed at how disrespectful he was of my feelings by pulling that. i doubt he even met a girl. dude really could use some dating advice b/c he's a social dork when it comes to the ladies, but i'm not gonna help him annoy some other poor woman.

I don't think so.  Truly, there are completely CLUELESS men out there.  Ask BF. 

[Ondine]

Ding Ding Ding! Your friend just won the gold medal in the Moron Olympics.

[Mahogany]

you could always give him BAD advice 

<shoves evil Redhead back into the box>

personally I would go with your gut feeling on this one - if you feel hes testing the waters then thats probably what it is.

[GINO40]

Just be thankful you didn't end up dating him, he sounds completely insensitive and immature. Maybe the next time he asks you something like this you could give him some wrong advice because if he doesn't know how to call a girl then he will probably listen to you!

[Gambitgirl]

Just be thankful you didn't end up dating him, he sounds completely insensitive and immature. Maybe the next time he asks you something like this you could give him some wrong advice because if he doesn't know how to call a girl then he will probably listen to you!

if he asks again i'll tell him to wait at least a week to call her to show he's sorta interested but not a lot (which many women don't like), follow up with at least 5-10 calls a day to show he's REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY interested and freak her out

[Twik]

Ohh, this could be FUN!

Tell him he needs to get a really good cheesy come-on line. And that he should make double entrendres constantly that are thinly veiled references to the immensity of his manhood.

[LifeOnPluto]

I'd vote for bonehead too. My ex-boyfriend (who insisted that we remain friends) pulled this stunt, only a few weeks after he had dumped me. It's really not cool.

I'd say he's on his last chance. You've made it clear that you don't want him asking you for advice on how to date other women. Now it's up to him to choose whether or not to respect that request. If he whines "But you're my friend! You HAVE to hear all about my dates. Now tell me how I can get the number of my new attractive blonde colleague..." then I say cut him off - he's not really a friend.