Holiday Hell: Hard to feel sorry for this submitter.

[Amava]

I've made up a slogan.
"Don't whine, show some spine".

Seriously, right? Don't female-dog-talk about someone's weight because you let them take advantage of your weak spine! Be proactive.

[Piratelvr1121]

"Judy and Rick, who are barely ambulatory because of their weight, grumbled about having to walk less than two blocks carrying their folding picnic chairs. (If we'd left later, the walk would have been even longer, but don't confuse them with the facts.)"

How does that work? Each minute after 8:00 the Sidewalk Fairies come out and magically lay down new blocks?

"When the fireworks ended, I drove us back to Judy and Rick's."

Come again? If you walked to the fireworks, how could you drive back?

I'm assuming the fireworks show was at a central location of some sort and they had to find parking.  That would explain why the distance would increase with time--available parking fills up, you have to park farther away.

I don't feel sorry for the OP at all.  She doesn't like the couple, she obviously has little in common with them, she openly expresses her distaste for them, and yet she agrees to not only go to their house for the Fourth, she agrees to bring all the food.  Then she one-ups herself by doing all the prep work and the driving.  I'm sure she couldn't wait to get home so she could complain.

I read it to mean either 1) the sidewalks would be crowded for all the people walking to firework site, so it would be slow moving and take them longer to get there.  Or 2) if they left later they'd have to walk farther to find a place to sit down to enjoy the fireworks.     Growing up, we stopped going to the fireworks at the lake downtown because you'd have to get to the lake early in the day (as in before 10am) to find a decent spot and then find a way to kill time until 9pm.   If you showed up at 7pm, you'd find yourself walking about a mile to the lake from your parking spot.   

Either way, if any of this is true, sounds like the LW is a proud, card carrying member of the Martyr Club, or makes herself feel better by hanging around people who are heavier and lazier than she is.   

[secretrebel]

I wonder if Judy even expected the submitter to buy everything.

I was to shop for and bring the entire feast. Hamburgers, hot dogs, condiments, dessert, sodas, chips, and all the trimmings. I shopped, and packed everything up in a cooler to take over to the Fatterson house.

Apparently, Judy was worried that I might make poor decisions at the store, so she'd sent Rick out to buy duplicates of everything she'd told me to get.

Maybe Judy listed possible items the submitter might bring? Because if she was intending someone else to buy everything, why was Rick at the store buying those things?

[DangerMouth]

She lost me at "Fatterson" 

[lilfox]

I wonder if Judy even expected the submitter to buy everything.

I was to shop for and bring the entire feast. Hamburgers, hot dogs, condiments, dessert, sodas, chips, and all the trimmings. I shopped, and packed everything up in a cooler to take over to the Fatterson house.

Apparently, Judy was worried that I might make poor decisions at the store, so she'd sent Rick out to buy duplicates of everything she'd told me to get.

Maybe Judy listed possible items the submitter might bring? Because if she was intending someone else to buy everything, why was Rick at the store buying those things?

I was about to say the same thing!  I can imagine that conversation going like this:

LW:  Oh, sounds fun!  Can I bring anything?
Mrs F:  Well, we're having burgers, hotdogs, chips, condiments, dessert, and sodas.
LW (unspoken):  I can't believe they expect me to get all of that!  But apparently I will, rather than ask which ONE of those things she'd prefer me to bring.
Mrs F (unspoken):  That's Rick's shopping list, so we're pretty well covered but maybe she'd like to bring something else.

Definitely a martyr if, after having to provide her own hospitality, the LW compounded her put-uponness by forcing them to go to the fireworks show with her.

[Paper Roses]

I just don't believe this one.  Just don't.

Ok, I can totally get having hamburgers and hot dogs.  But . . . for THREE people?  I don't think anyone would bother with both; one or the other would do. 

Also, if Ms. LW is so wonderfully awesome, why couldn't she find anywhere else to spend the Fourth?  Surely someone as fabulous as she is must get boatloads of party invitations for all the holidays, so why did she have to lower herself?  From the sounds of it, even staying home would have been preferable. 

And if the hosts (I refuse to use the word the LW did) just wanted to stay home and watch TV, which they would have had every right to do, as there's certainly no law requiring everyone to watch fireworks on the Fourth of July, why did they "invite" her?

Probably more like - LW has nowhere to spend the Fourth.  Then she remembers her acquaintance who lives in a nice neighborhood which will probably have a really good fireworks display.  She asks the friend if she's planning to go, and friend says, "No, not really; we plan to stay home and catch up on some TV we've missed." 

LW pushes until finally friend says, "Ok, look, if you want to see the fireworks on our side of town so bad, fine, but you'll have to drive, because we have no desire to sit in the traffic and walk all that way." 

LW says "Great!  I'll bring food too, we can light the BBQ and make a day of it!"

[MsOverThinker]

I mean, come on, the stench from the cat box made her eyes run, but she was able to cook AND EAT there?  Please.

That's precisely what I was thinking.  Not to go OT, but I have been in the home of some very hospitable folks whose house appears clean, but smelled very strongly of their multiple cats and litter box(es).  It was a backyard bbq (outside) and when I went in for food, I found I couldn't eat anything that had been in the house.  Complete loss of appetite.  In this case, if it also appeared unclean, I don't think I could have even stayed in the house for any period of time.

I also agree with other posters that the LW had choices at every turn to graciously decline the invitation or excuse herself when the situation was questionable.  This whole story is less of an indictment of the hosts than the guest.

[Lady_Lazarus]

I agree ... not to mention, LW took back the food that she brought with her to the home of the hosts!

[Brentwood]

I just don't believe this one.  Just don't.

Nope. I don't either. Reads like it was put together as a writing exercise.

[DottyG]

Nope. I don't either. Reads like it was put together as a writing exercise.

A writing exercise that, I hope, got an F.  It's not even well-written.

[Brentwood]

Nope. I don't either. Reads like it was put together as a writing exercise.

A writing exercise that, I hope, got an F.  It's not even well-written.

I completely agree!