Author Topic: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up  (Read 46586 times)

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Lisbeth

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It's kind of long, but this story may even qualify as Faux Pas Of the Year, instead of just "Weddings From Hell". Although dubbing it "From Hell" would certainly be appropriate. A couple of years ago I was dating a guy named Tay, and he told me that some friends of his that I didn't know were getting married, but they'd invited him "and guest" so would I like to be his date? He'd take care of the gift, since I didn't know the couple. He said I'd find them somewhat strange, but how strange could a wedding be, I thought. (DUN DUN DUNNNNN.... ominous music) I said I'd be delighted to go. Big mistake.

It wasn't just a tacky wedding. EVERYTHING about the wedding was downright HORRIFIC. One disaster after another. I shudder to think about it even now. To start off, the wedding was held outdoors. In the dead of night. On a full moon. In front of a CEMETERY. AAAAAHHHH! There were even no decorations in the wedding area. The closest thing there was the flowers scattered throughout the cemetery. Most of the guests wore black. Some even had black hair and makeup. Even male guests. I couldn't believe it. And one woman wore a floor-length (or ground-length, I suppose) white gown. Another guest was carrying a cat, another was carrying a SNAKE..... you get the idea.

The bride and groom had hired a string quartet, they were dressed all in BLACK LEATHER and didn't play anything that wasn't in a minor key. Even the "here comes the bride" music sounded like a dirge.

The wedding party, that's where I finally admitted to myself it wasn't going to improve. There were two male and two female groom's attendants, and two male and two female bride's attendants, too. There was NO clear MOH or BM. The groom's attendants all wore purple shirts and black pants, purple lipstick and black eye makeup and white face paint, and carried one white candle. The bride's attendants all wore white shirts and black pants, black lipstick and eye makeup and white face paint, and carried one purple candle. No flowers, pants on the female attendants, and makeup on the male attendants.

THEN came the couple. The groom wore leather pants and boots, and a white, open-necked shirt. In any other setting, that shirt may have been nice, if a bit nineteenth-century. Needless to say, it may have been the highlight of the event. Anyway, he was wearing a LEATHER COLLAR, five earrings, and an eyebrow ring, and the same makeup as his attendants, and his hair was purple to match it, his attendants, and the bride's attendants' candles. And the bride's gown.

The bride... where do I begin? She was about a foot taller than the groom, she wore white face paint and black lipstick and eye makeup that swirled onto her temples and cheekbones. And combat boots. No veil, no train, no flowers, nothing. Her gown showed off her arms, back, and some of her legs above her boots. It also showed off the tattoos she had all over those parts of her body. Her (black) hair was pulled back to show off the seven rings in each ear.

I don't know who told these people that this was acceptable at a wedding. The pastor was old, he looked about five minutes away from disintegration. The blessing was unbelievable, he said the most appallingly inappropriate things, like how in just a few short decades they would be buried here in this cemetery, side by side, six feet under, in matching coffins, rotting together for all eternity. I remember that part word for word because it was in the Addams family. I thought I was going to be sick. (Not at the imagery, but at the fact that it was being said as nuptials.)

I only stayed because I wasn't sure I wanted to be seen leaving early by these people. Needless to say, I spent most of the ceremony reconsidering dating anybody who'd have that type as friends.

We all had to walk to the reception which was at a big old house three blocks away from the ceremony. The leather string quartet came with us to provide music there, much to my dismay.

It didn't get better away from the cemetery. The house was dimly lit and full of cobwebs. There was no champagne, instead they had a lot of red wine to drink and toast with. I didn't recognize a single one of the dishes in the buffet, and a lot of them were cold. There was no planned seating arrangement, they barely had tables. A lot of people had to just stand around holding their plates in one hand, with their wine glass on a nearby sideboard. Or else sit on a sofa with their plates in their lap. Tay managed to get us seats at a table, but then I had to work to avoid making eye contact with anybody.

Since there was no best man, nobody made a speech, and most of the guests who tried to dance didn't have partners. All the gifts had been given earlier, and they were on display on a table. Not a one of them was an appropriate wedding gift. Only one person had even given money, and HE had folded a check up and put it in a puzzle box. Tay pointed out the gift with the tag that said "From Tay and [my name]". It was a pair of hip flasks, one with a dragon on it, the other with a skull and crossbones.

So I wrote two notes, one saying they should be disgusted at what they're doing to the tradition of marriage, and another breaking up with Tay, and then went to the bathroom and climbed out the window.  Needless to say, I've been screening my calls ever since.    Wedhell0524-03




This happened at my own wedding. I'll be the first to admit it was....unconventional! lol. My (now) husband and I were very into the Goth scene at the time. I was actually a writer for a well-known horror mag, and hubby-to-be worked as a...well, as a "gore designer". Think slasher flicks, and you get the idea! We were, therefore, very into the scene--as were most of our mates. We chose to hold a Goth wedding--cemetery, memento mori-style imagery...the whole nine yards. It was a few years ago, and yes, I'd do things differently now...but at the time (and since!), my more-than-loving friends went at their leather togs with gusto and a good attitude.

I had to give you a rundown on my "untraditional" wedding before getting to the Main Course. A good friend of my HTB was invited with his guest. The friend (whom I'll call "T") was NOT a subscriber to our lifestyle, but had been more than supportive. and got completely into the swing of things. T's girlfriend, however, was another story! I didn't hear about it at the time, as I was a nervous bride and my friends and family (God bless my mum and sister!) kept this girl from me. But I gather she spent the whole ceremony Female Dog at those who looked "normal" (her quote) about the setting, lack of decor (we were in a cemetery! Would bows and flowers on the gravestones be more appropriate???) . makeup on boys (my mate and I have oodles of friends who are g*a*y, straight, and everything in between. If they came in glitter and neon, if they were happy, I'D BE HAPPY. Who was this woman to belittle us?), and (gasp) my freakin' footwear! (I had a long dress, and chose to wear comfy shoes as opposed to new ones...)

So this stranger is accepting our hospitality whilst yipping to a LOT of our close friends about how "nasty" and "uncouth" we were. Even her Boyfriend was embarrassed by her behavior. She went off about our choice of a cold buffet (although we had a seafood bar (!) ), and refused to sit with any of our friends-- "T" actually went and set up a table for her, and her alone. so she wouldn't be "contaminated"!

The one interaction I had with her involved her commenting, "Wow, I'm amazed (hubby) knew where to put the actual WEDDING ring." I am quite pierced, and, in fact, have several tattoos. But what the heck? Do my browrings somehow nullify the wedding ring?

As a final indignity, this girl left a note IN MY BOUQUET, written on tissue, accusing me of making a mockery of marriage, and telling ME, the bride, to tell "T" that she didn't want to see him anymore!

...all I can say is that hubby and I are still deliriously happy, and T is now married--to one of my best friends! While we might not do things the way we did, neither Jay nor I regret our wedding. And all this girl did was prove to me that I have the best, most unjudgemental, most loving friends and family ever. They'll know me to read this, as they ALL remember her--and I love you guys!

Guests1102-05


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Sounds like the same wedding to me!
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 10:42:38 AM by KeenReader »
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emeraldsage85

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2007, 06:27:56 PM »
So apparently it's wrong for female attendants to wear pants?

Hawkwatcher

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2007, 06:41:06 PM »
It is also wrong for women to be tall as well. Apparently the bride should have cut off her legs so she wouldn't be taller than the groom.

Chartreuse

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2007, 06:49:29 PM »
I see nothing wrong with getting married how you see fit.  As such, the gal who wrote in the first one probably should be swiftly kicked in the backside for being so snarky about another's choice for a wedding.  Who's to say she's the one to judge for taste?  Other than it not being her personal choice of style, I'm not exactly seeing anything that screams bad etiquette, except the poster's attitude.  All that gal's post did was show she's snarky and really a crappy girlfriend (if she couldn't even face Tay to dump him and would dump him over his choice of friends).  Ugh.
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emeraldsage85

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2007, 08:13:07 PM »
I see nothing wrong with getting married how you see fit.  As such, the gal who wrote in the first one probably should be swiftly kicked in the backside for being so snarky about another's choice for a wedding.  Who's to say she's the one to judge for taste?  Other than it not being her personal choice of style, I'm not exactly seeing anything that screams bad etiquette, except the poster's attitude.  All that gal's post did was show she's snarky and really a crappy girlfriend (if she couldn't even face Tay to dump him and would dump him over his choice of friends).  Ugh.

I never did figure out why Jeanne didn't give that poster the boot into etiquette hell.

sammycat

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2007, 03:48:45 AM »
I don't know anything at all about the goth lifestyle but it sounds to me like the wedding was just what the HC wanted.  None of the guests, except Tay's date, seemed to find anything to be offended by, and if they're happy then that's a good sign that the HC have done something right.  I can't see any etiquette faux pas that would toss the HC or their guests in ehell.

Tay's date is the only one I think badly of in this whole scenario for being so judgemental that the wedding wasn't to her standards.

Stjarni

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2007, 08:31:20 AM »

I would rather have a Goth wedding then have a full-blown expensive over-the-top wedding.


LadyDyani

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2007, 09:09:06 AM »
I remembered that first story from a while back, and when I first read the second story, I did wonder if someone had written it in response to the first story.
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Evil Duckie

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2007, 02:06:36 PM »
These two stories if not of the same event should be.

The only tacky person I see was the guest. She was very rude and very tacky. I am gald that she didn't ruin the day for HC and most of the guests.

The HC did nothing wrong that I can see. Yes it was a bit of a unconventional wedding, but so what.

LJM

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2007, 10:13:21 PM »
I remembered that first story from a while back, and when I first read the second story, I did wonder if someone had written it in response to the first story.

Me too, but I couldn`t blame them, really, if that was the case.

My introduction to this website was from another board, where someone posted a link to the letter from the Goth-wedding guest, to show how over the top obnoxious the letter writer was. A long thread proceeded where we mocked the guest-from-hell letter writer.

As awful as the guest-from-hell letter writer was, I place a large part of the blame on her boyfriend. He presumably knew both the happy couple and his girlfriend well enough to know they`d mix like oil and water, but just sprung the Goth wedding on her without a word of warning. Why didn`t he tell her what she was getting into and ask her if she wanted to bow out, rather than subjecting the wedding couple to an unpleasnt guest and his girlfriend to a situation he knew she`d be very uncomfortable in?

So if the second letter was manufactured, I wish they hadn`t of given the guy such a free pass.

LJM

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2007, 10:36:13 PM »
I mean, come on:

...To start off, the wedding was held outdoors.
...There were even no decorations in the wedding area.
...Some even had black hair
...The wedding party, that's where I finally admitted to myself it wasn't going to improve. There were two male and two female groom's attendants, and two male and two female bride's attendants, too. There was NO clear MOH or BM.
...The bride, where do I begin? She was about a foot taller than the groom,
...No veil, no train, no flowers, nothing.
...Her (black) hair
...The pastor was old, he looked about five minutes away from disintegration.
...I only stayed because I wasn't sure I wanted to be seen leaving early by these people.
...There was no champagne, instead they had a lot of red wine to drink and toast with. I didn't recognize a single one of the dishes in the buffet,
...Since there was no best man, nobody made a speech, and most of the guests who tried to dance didn't have partners. All the gifts had been given earlier, and they were on display on a table. Not a one of them was an appropriate wedding gift. Only one person had even given money, and HE had folded a check up and put it in a puzzle box.
...So I wrote two notes, one saying they should be disgusted at what they're doing to the tradition of marriage, and another breaking up with Tay, and then went to the bathroom and climbed out the window.  Needless to say, I've been screening my calls ever since.    Wedhell0524-03

Why wasn`t this in the "guests from hell" section of the site?

And even the rest of it that was decidedly odd (definitely not the wedding I`d want to have for myself, though being a guest mioght have been interesting), it was what the couple wanted, and as a bonus, none of the actual invited (not "and guest") guests seemed to have a problem with it. It`s not like the couple was trying to shock anyone, throw this in anyone`s face or make their guests uncomfortable. They were just having the wedding they wanted to have, and invited the people who were supportive of them and comfortable with their choice.

The wedding wasn`t put on for "and guest`s" benefit.

Clara Bow

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2007, 11:57:50 AM »
Okay, so this poster is the expert on all things lovely and knows about weddings and lalala. So if she believes that the bride and groom are making a mockery of marriage (how exactly? They were getting married!) what does she call leaving a hateful note in the bride's bouquet??
What a horse's rear. Tay is better off without her.
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Hawkwatcher

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2007, 01:29:03 PM »

Me too, but I couldn`t blame them, really, if that was the case.

My introduction to this website was from another board, where someone posted a link to the letter from the Goth-wedding guest, to show how over the top obnoxious the letter writer was. A long thread proceeded where we mocked the guest-from-hell letter writer.

As awful as the guest-from-hell letter writer was, I place a large part of the blame on her boyfriend. He presumably knew both the happy couple and his girlfriend well enough to know they`d mix like oil and water, but just sprung the Goth wedding on her without a word of warning. Why didn`t he tell her what she was getting into and ask her if she wanted to bow out, rather than subjecting the wedding couple to an unpleasnt guest and his girlfriend to a situation he knew she`d be very uncomfortable in?

So if the second letter was manufactured, I wish they hadn`t of given the guy such a free pass.

He may have told her but she might not have listened to him or assumed that he was exaggerating.  He may also have been blind to his girlfriend's faults.  But he should have taken her home as soon as possible once he discovered how uncomfortable she was with the wedding.  Even though she was extremely rude, she was still his date and he did have some responsibility in ensuring her comfort.

vedderbetter

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2007, 07:05:16 PM »
Long time lurker and first posting attempt, but I felt compelled to say something about this.

I absolutely agree that guests of ANY event should be gracious and not comment on things that occur that may not reflect the guest's personal tastes but the tastes of the host/hostess.  This is doubly true for a wedding.

Secondly, it was completely inappropriate for the OP to leave a snarky note for the bride and to make such rude commentary on the bridal parties' choice of attire.

However, I do take issue with holding celebratory events (such as weddings) in cemeteries.  Cemeteries, by their very nature, are places for families to mourn the loss of loved ones, to provide a final resting place for those we have lost, and are peaceful and somber so that quiet reflection and mourning can occur.  They are not meant to be used by those who are fascinated by death/the macabre/other "dark fantasy" ideas as a backdrop for a theme wedding.  To use such a emotional (and not good emotion, most people interring a loved one are grieving, angry, depressed, etc.) disrespects the dead and more importantly, disrespects the families that would likely object quite strenuously to having their loved ones gravesite used as a wedding location for strangers.  It's almost as if part of the fun of the wedding is enjoying the loss that a cemetery represents for many people.  I for one would be very upset at any cemetery that would allow such an event to occur, especially at the site of one of my family members. 

I know this is an unpopular opinion, and yes, death isn't the end, and yes, we should celebrate life, but it still strikes me as disrespectful and, frankly, innappropriate.  I apologize in advance if I have offended but I simply had to say what I had to say.

Cyndi

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Re: Weddings from Hell: Goth wedding and Guests from Hell: Follow-up
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2007, 07:20:57 PM »
^I agree...what if a guest recently lost someone? A cemetary would be a harsh reminder of that.

I mean...anybody here watch America's Next Top Model? One girl got informed that a close friend of hers had died and guess where the next photoshoot was? A CEMETARY! But the girl used those feelings for the shoot and did a great job. She never whined(though she was emotional).