Doesn't S/He Make YOU Want One?

[ehartsay]

This is a question that I am not very frequently asked, but it is a bit flummoxing.

THe situation: Person is holding or passing a baby and gushing over it (their baby or someone else's), then thye turn to you and go "isn't he the cutest thing! Doesn't he make YOU want one of your own?!"

My response tends to be along the lines of "Well he sure IS cute" and TRY to leave it at that,
rather than the rather more truthful
"Well he IS cute, and if I were a person who wanted kids, maybe..."
or the much more truthfull,
"Cute, maybe, but I still prefer a cat"
and the REALLY truthfull,
""Cute?yes. Want one myself? HECK (not the word I would have chosen) NO!"

I find this question kind of annoying, because it runs the risk of someone being forced to lie about their own perosnal preferences for themself or being 'rude'.

Anyone else have this problem?

[hobish]

Yeah. I just go with the "mmmmhmmm...sure, cute, yeah," but it is rather apparent that i am not comfortable around babies. Most people pick up on that & leave me be.

[Hawkwatcher]

My SIL has said that in the past in public when we ever see a couple with a baby or small child.  I really do not know how to respond because if I answer honestly, I risk having the parents, who are innocent bystanders, getting the impression that I think that their child is hideous.

[Just Lori]

After two kids and 6,278,426 sleepless nights (at least that's what it felt like at the time), I can answer this one honestly:  No.

Seriously, I think your kitten comment is fine.  People have a lot of good reasons for not wanting kids.  When I watch my 49-year-old friend struggling with his toddler while he tries to keep an eye on his infant son and his 7-year-old, I just giggle to myself and offer to play with the toddler or cuddle the baby.  But I have no problem handing them back and going home for a full night's sleep.

[housewife2k]

My sister became sick of people asking her this after each of my three sons were born. Now, whenever anyone does the "OOOHHH Look at the CUTE baby, Doesn't it make you want one?" My sis's standard response is "Ohh, I'd love to have one, but you know, I'm allergic."

[Pixie]

My reply.... "No, they usually leak."    But with 2 teens and a 20 year old... NO I do not want one!

[Evil Duckie]

.

[dawbs]

I'm half tempted to answer honestly when it happens anymore....

"want one?  yes,  but either my husband or I had a change of heart from what we had agreed on re: child/child free --right now we're fighting a messy-tear filled battle to make sure our marriage doesn't suffer the consequences of human indecision."

And then burst into tears.  (they'd be honest tears  )

I do wish more people would think about how hurtful this sort of stupid pressure can be.

[Gileswench]

Comments like that make me cringe. Some of us did want kids and it didn't work out. Others never wanted kids. Either way, it's a rude and potentially explosive thing to say.

[Barghest1031]

I just grin and pleasantly say "No." If they continue to push the matter, I simply continue to reply in the negative. They tend to tire out quicker than I do.

[Alida]

"Hm... ask me that again when s/he is crying and needs to be changed."

[Suze]

"not really -- they are more fun to spoil and give noisy toys to and send them back to their mommy"

I really do not want kids at my age.  47 is too old to have first babies.

How do you pay for collage when you are on Social Security?

Auntie Suze is just fine for me

[Clara Bow]

Reminds me of a story I heard. A woman was irked that whenever there was a baby shower in her family the elderly ladies would start poking her in the ribs saying "You're next!" She stopped them by doing the same thing at funerals.

[RuneGuardian]

My typical response to such a question is that said precious child makes me want to run out and get sterilized more than I did before. Sorry, but babies don't melt my heart, and yours - which looks exactly like every other baby I've ever seen - will not make me change my mind.

[NOVA Lady]

This is a question that I am not very frequently asked, but it is a bit flummoxing.

THe situation: Person is holding or passing a baby and gushing over it (their baby or someone else's), then thye turn to you and go "isn't he the cutest thing! Doesn't he make YOU want one of your own?!"

My response tends to be along the lines of "Well he sure IS cute" and TRY to leave it at that,
rather than the rather more truthful
"Well he IS cute, and if I were a person who wanted kids, maybe..."
or the much more truthfull,
"Cute, maybe, but I still prefer a cat"
and the REALLY truthfull,
""Cute?yes. Want one myself? HECK (not the word I would have chosen) NO!"

I find this question kind of annoying, because it runs the risk of someone being forced to lie about their own perosnal preferences for themself or being 'rude'.

Anyone else have this problem?

I understand this problem ALL too well. Me and SO are childfree by choice and do not want children. I still enjoy children, I think they're cute, I even like to spend time with those I am close with...but alas we're happy with our boys (the cats) and are not interested in offspring.

What I say with someone who doesn't know me and our choice (as its very personal and mostly irrelvant for most people to know this, its usually the case) I'd just say, "He/She is beautiful, what an adorable baby". Its the nice thing to say even if you're not feeling gushy about the baby, and it avoids the arugement that often comes with the statement that one doesn't want kids.

Someone that does know me, usually I would avoid answering with some sort of statement about how I felt about having children, but if they were snarky or clearly doing it to egg me on... I'd just say, "Cute, but glad he/she isn't mine!"