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Author Topic: Sand pouring in ceremony?  (Read 4586 times)

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goldilocks

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Sand pouring in ceremony?
« on: November 10, 2014, 11:58:36 AM »
I've never been to a ceremony where this is done, but I've heard about it and it sounds cool.   DD and her fiance want to do this.

Does anyone know the specifics of when/how this is done?   Is there a special speech or anything?

Do they both pour at the same time or take turns to create a layered effect?

daen

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2014, 12:21:30 PM »
I've seen it done once or twice.

There's a preliminary sentence or two about unity, or the two becoming one, or joining lives together. It varies, depending on the style of the service.

As for the actual pouring, this also varies. It depends on the kind of container you're pouring into, for one thing - if it's too narrow, it's hard to have two streams of sand going in tidily at the same time. I saw the pouring being layered a bit.

I've also heard of couples pouring yellow and blue water into a container to make green... and I know of a couple where she held up a chocolate bar, he held up a jar of peanut butter, and then the two of them held up a package of peanut butter cups. (The bride felt they were required to do something, and this satisfied requirements and added a light note to a slightly tense situation.)

Lynn2000

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2014, 03:01:58 PM »
I've seen it done a few times. It seems to have kind of a "unity candle" feel to it. I've usually seen it done where the bride and groom have different colors of sand that are combined together. Personally I think the symbolism comes through better if they're both pouring at the same time, so of course you have to have a wider-necked jar. IME the idea is "two becoming one" so you really want the sand to blend, rather than landing in different-colored layers. Also it would probably take longer, to get multiple layers, and you don't want the audience to get bored--it would probably be a good idea to practice first, so you know how much sand to use.

At a recent wedding I saw an interesting twist on it. This was an older couple, and between them they had six grandchildren who were elementary-school-aged. They really wanted to get the kids in on it, so each kid came up and dumped a small vial of sand into one big jar, which the bride and groom had also added sand to.
~Lynn2000

katycoo

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2014, 07:01:10 PM »
Usually there's a bit of an explanation by the celebrant.  The couple should pour however they like best.
My reason for not doing this was that a jar of sand wasn't a keepsake I wanted to lug around for the rest of days.

MMHou

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2014, 12:54:50 AM »
DH and I did this almost eight years ago. It was presented as a "blending of the sands," with the idea being that once the grains of sand were commingled they couldn't be separated. For this reason I personally think it would be better not to layer the sand, since the notion is that the sand, like the couples' lives, will now be blended together.

We did ours a bit differently, though. Our actual wedding ceremony included just the two of us on a beach. Then a couple of weeks later back home we held a family ceremony which incorporated DH's two DDs (they were five and eight at the time.) This ceremony was a joining of our families, and instead of exchanging rings and doing the normal wedding vows, we gave necklaces to the girls and spoke about how we were all joining as a new family. During our beach wedding, we had gathered sand into four small vials, and during the family ceremony each of us poured one into a larger, glass container. The person who led the ceremony told everyone about the symbolism as we were pouring the sand.

camlan

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2014, 06:08:13 AM »
The one time I've seen a sand pouring ceremony was at a beach wedding. The couple had wanted to do the unity candle, but outdoors at the beach, they never would have been able to keep the candles lit. So their celebrant suggested pouring sand into a large glass vase instead.

I agree that the symbolism works best if the couple can pour the sand at the same time, mingling the sand from the two containers into one larger one.

It really seems like a variation of the unity candle to me, and would get the same treatment--a short explanation, if necessary, from the celebrant at an appropriate time during the wedding ceremony and then the couple pours the sand into a container.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Harriet Jones

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2014, 06:53:35 AM »
If the ceremony is in a church, you'll want to check with your officiant -- some denominations may not be ok with things like sand-pouring and unity candles.  (Mine wasn't)  If you already know it's ok, don't mind me!  ;)

daen

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2014, 05:04:32 PM »
The discussion of whether or not to layer the sand is similar in some ways to the discussion of whether or not the couple blows out the candles they use to light the unity candle. One side is concerned with the "becoming one" symbolism; the other side is concerned with each member of the couple maintaining their own identity as two parts of the whole. I can see both sides of the argument. (When I got married, we didn't do any kind of unity ceremony.)

My sister's wedding had the unity candle, with a bit of a twist - they had two pillar candles sitting lit on the table. When it came time for the unity candle ceremony, they turned the candles so that the back sides, which had been planed flat, rested against each other. The wicks were now close enough together that the flames merged, and as the wax melted, the candles fused together. They also tied a ribbon around the candle, as my brother-in-law couldn't resist the visual tying-the-knot pun.

LazyDaisy

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2014, 05:50:48 PM »
I attended a wedding that had sand pouring. They did the separate colors layering thing (even in layers, it would be nearly impossible to separate the sand back into two distinct colors) they were able to fill a container to the top and seal it in so that it wouldn't shift around and it became kind of an art piece. It was lovely but my only very minor complaint from a guest point of view -- it took a really long time with nothing but silence and sand pouring. Maybe use a small container or include singing/music or a reading at the same time.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." — Douglas Adams

Jones

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2014, 06:50:01 PM »
I've seen this once, the couple didn't have a huge container but it was wide enough at the top for both to pour at the same time. As they poured the officiant gave a speech about how their lives were made of many moments, and the moments led to this moment, and now the two lives made up of many moments were joining together like many grains of sand made a beach. It was pretty lovely.
“A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.” CS Lewis

StoutGirl

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2014, 10:19:20 PM »
Growing up Catholic, the Unity Candle was the main thing.  I have seen one sand ceremony at a non-church ceremony that I thought was pretty cool, and the couple alternated the colors.  I've always wanted to see a hand fasting, since I love all things Celtic.

I just wanted to share a link that takes the idea of the sand ceremony a step further by using glass crystals, then you send it in after the wedding and the company creates a glass blown sculpture, tree ornaments, etc. for a forever keepsake.  I just found it and am a little excited about it-made sure to pin that one right away!

http://www.unityinglass.com/pages/how-it-works

SheltieMom

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Re: Sand pouring in ceremony?
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2014, 11:25:08 PM »
The discussion of whether or not to layer the sand is similar in some ways to the discussion of whether or not the couple blows out the candles they use to light the unity candle. One side is concerned with the "becoming one" symbolism; the other side is concerned with each member of the couple maintaining their own identity as two parts of the whole. I can see both sides of the argument. (When I got married, we didn't do any kind of unity ceremony.)

My sister's wedding had the unity candle, with a bit of a twist - they had two pillar candles sitting lit on the table. When it came time for the unity candle ceremony, they turned the candles so that the back sides, which had been planed flat, rested against each other. The wicks were now close enough together that the flames merged, and as the wax melted, the candles fused together. They also tied a ribbon around the candle, as my brother-in-law couldn't resist the visual tying-the-knot pun.

This is really cool! My DD and SIL did a tea ceremony, because they both love exotic teas. They each choose a flavor, picking some that would meld well, and poured them together and sipped them.
If Timmy had had a Sheltie, he never would have fallen in that well!